Cathleende

Stroke Caregiver - male
  • Posts

    10
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About Cathleende

  • Birthday 04/06/1958

Shared Information

  • Stroke Anniversary (first stroke)
    04-30-2013
  • How did you find us?
    Google Search

Registration Information

  • First Name
    Cathy
  • State
    GA

Cathleende's Achievements

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New Member (1/10)

  1. Happy Anniversary Cathleende!

  2. Happy Birthday Cathleende!

  3. Happy Anniversary Cathleende!

  4. Happy Birthday Cathleende!

  5. Pearls, I am Cathy, wife and caregiver for my husband, John. He also had a hemorrahgic stroke on the right side of his brain. His was in April, 2013. I am always amazed by the fact that no matter how many times hear stroke survivors tell their stories, it terrifies me. I cannot image what it must be like. I am also amazed everytime I read the forums and blogs on this site and say to myself " the people on this site are the only ones that truly understand what we've been through and what lies ahead for us". I read it everyday. You will be welcomed with open arms and understanding hearts! Wishing You Well! Cathy
  6. Fred, I will be praying for you and wishing you nothing but positive things! I can't image how hard this has been on you and your wife. You will be missed! Cathy
  7. Happy Anniversary Cathleende!

  8. Nancy, I know I have not contributed to this site in awhile, but I still read it all the time. You may remember that I am my husband's caregiver. I have a philosphy about at-home care for those who need it. My mother is a parapalegic. She lost the use of here legs when she was 47. Some years back, she had to have gall bladder surgery. Whe she came home, she was still in a lot of pain. As a result, she couldn't get on the bed pan, and of course, couldn't get out of bed to go to the restroom. My sisters and I did our best, but our best was not what was best for her. One sister was crying, one sisters was mad and so on. I realized then that sometimes loved ones are just not the best choice to provide care for the ones we care about the most. Once the nurse showed up, things changed. She responded very differently to her than she did to us, her daughters. We, as caregivers, to our husbands believe the best place for them is home, with us, the wives that have loved them for so long, long before this awful thing happened to them. Nancy, we can not love them well! If we could, they would all be happy and healthy. It's a very personal decision, but you have to ask yourself, is this the best situation for him. If the answer is no, then you, as his caregiver and person who loves him the most, need to make a decision based soley on what is best for him from a purely healthcare prespective. I know it would be better for you to have him home, but maybe you are at a point where your best is not what's best for him. I know you love him, but we can't love them well. Know I am thinking about you. Cathy
  9. Happy Birthday Cathleende!

  10. Mike, I am so sorry for your loss. I am kind of new here, but while reading your post, I was struck by your love for Bernie. I was also touched by her courage. Wishing you comfort and strength through this very difficult time. Cathy
  11. Cathleende

    8 months

    David, I am very sorry to hear you had yet another stroke, mild or not. You have been through so much, I totally understand your feelings. John feels the same way. Like yours, his cognitive abilities have not been affected by his stroke. However, he remains paralyzed on his left side; can only walk with a hemiwalker and me holding on to his belt. And also like you, his personality has not taken a turn for the worst, although he suffers with depression. We have discussed his wishes in the event he has another stroke. He is very clear about his desire to forego treatment if there is any chance he would come out of it worse off than he is now. I respect his feelings on this matter. I can not image living in his body, or yours for that matter. I am in no position to judge the two of you. Having said that, I pray that you and all the others affected by this disabiling trauma find peace and comfort in your lives! Also, John and I just went to the gastro doctor last Friday. He has been due for a colonoscopy for some time now. The stroke threw us off track for awhile. He had poylops at his last colonoscopy. The doctor is reluctant to do a regular colonoscopy, so he has ordered a virtual colonoscopy. You still have to poop your brains out prior to the procedure, but it is a CT scan (I think). In any case, know that I am thinking good thoughts for you and your future. Also know that I understand that you can only have so much of you taken from you, before you are no longer David. Cathy
  12. Sandy, That is so great! Glad that Bob got the recognition and had some time with his coworkers. Cathy
  13. Terry, I call it medical hell. Glad your dad is doing well. Cathy
  14. Cathleende

    Hi Again!

    Hi Again Everyone! I really wish I had more time for this, but I'll take what I can get. First of all, congratulations to Nancy on your new grandbaby. I have two myself, it's the best thing ever! I really enjoyed reading the blogs this week. Of course, I really appreciate your replies to my last blog. You all seem to understand things that I never even mentioned. Nancy, you couldn't be more right about John having to watch me do things and fix things he used to do. Like your Dan, not only could he fix cars, he could fix or build anything. It absolutely kills him to watch me do those things now. And Fred, I read all you posts. As I read them I often think to myself; I hope John can someday do the things that Fred can do. As I read all the posts, I couldn't help but think about something my Dad and I always talked about. He used to say to me, "Cathy I felt bad for the man who had no shoes, until I saw the man with no feet". I used to laugh and tell him it didn't work for me that way. For me, I would then feel bad for both of them. And then I would go on to explain to him that I have never felt better simply because somebody else felt worse. However, as read all of the posts here on the site, I find myself feeling very grateful for the abilities John has retained. When I read about Julie's Larry having trouble swallowing, I can't image worrying about John getting the nutrition that he needs. Actually, I have the opposite problem, not a darn thing wrong with his appetite. In fact, while he was in rehab they always told him he was a member of the clean plate club. As I read, my heart goes out to all you, survivors and caregivers alike. John's speech and cognitive abilities were not affected. He has however developed what I call a flat affect. He used tear up at the drop of a hat, especially if dogs or kids were involved. Now I am lucky to get a I-might-be-feeling-something look. Although he is able to express himself with words. I just kind of miss seeing his emotions. I hope that someday I, like Asha, will look back and see this stroke as a "speed bumb". Speaking of Asha, didread some where that you live Manchester, MO? I am was born and raised in North St. Louis County and was living in Ofallon, MO when we moved to Georgia. My husband was born and raised in St. Charles, MO. Hmmmm.......I had some of my best teen years in Manchester. I played fast pitch softball there for the Manchester Hawkettes. Many, many years ago. Had some of my not-so-proud moments there, but boy did I have fun. I was only 16! Speaking of St. Louis, I wanted to let Stingray (not sure of your real name yet, sorry) know that we have already made a trip to St. Louis. John and I actually traveled there in October 2013. I told him that not going home was not an option. We drove and stopped halfway and did great with the trip. We were suppose to be leaving this Sunday for another trip, but we need to delay the trip. We really need to deal with his depression, so we delayed the trip. I have some things lined up that might help. Going to the Neurologist tomorrow and have a new plan for therapy that might give him a reason to get out of bed most days. We have rescheduled the trip for the week of the 4th of July. And Julie, we just might have to swing by Chesterfield and say Hi! And I just wanted to let Englishlady and Asha know that I can only speak for myself, but caring for John is an absolute labor of love. I am sure it is for your husbands as well. Oh my gosh, I go on. I have eluded to the fact that John is struggling right now. The depression is overwhelming him, but I have some plans to get that dealt with. We will be getting a recommendation from the Neurologist for a Pshyciatrist and I have some plans for his therapy that will give him a reason to get out of bed on most days. Indeed, life can be struggle when living with stroke. But I live by one simple motto. You have two choices in life, you either go on, or you don't. And the latter is not an option. My Heart Is With You All, Cathy
  15. Cathleende

    Hi Everyone

    Hello everyone, I feel like I know you all! My name is Cathy and my husband John had a hemorrhagic stroke on 04/30/2013. I have been reading Strokenetwork for a very long time. I even got in touch with Julie from St. Louis for a period of time. I am very familiar with Nancyl, Englishlady, Hostsue, Fred, Cagedbird and so on. I also participated in a live chat once, then I guess I got caught up in my life and decided to not actively participate. Guess I have changed my mind. I suppose I will start with some details about John's stroke. John had spent a three day weekend back home in St. Louis with my son, John. My son, John, blogs on the St. Louis Cardinals farm team and the Cardinals invited the bloggers to a dinner and a game. They had a wonderful time and drove home to Georgia on Monday. He went to work on Tuesday morning as usual. About 9:45 a.m. I got a phone call from him tell me he could not move his left arm or leg. I told him to call 911, he said they had and told me what hospital he was being taken to. John is a auto technician by trade and was on a test drive when he realized he could not move his left arm to turn on the blinker. He drove two mile back to the shop. The last thing he remembers is being put in the ambulance. He was alert and aware of his surrounding once at the hospital, although does not remember. In fact, in the emergency room he was able to get his list of medications out of his wallet and give to those attending to him. (He had a massive heart attack in 2004). However, his eyes became fixed to the right and he started to vomit. They intabated him and took him to surgery. He had several setbacks in the hospital; he stayed two and a half weeks. He then spent six weeks in rehab. He has been in some kind of therapy ever since. First, home healthcare, then a day program at Emory Hospital here in Georgia and we are currently in outpatient. Outpatient visist are about to run out. He remains paralyzed on his left side. He can walk very crudely with a hemiwalker and me holding on the his belt, but he has got nothing coming back in his shoulder. Although, he can move his left hand, but has a strong grasp reflex, whatever his left hand gets near, it graps and won't let go. We call it the venus fly trap! He has strruggled, like so many, with major depression. He now suffers with sleep apnea and depends on me for nearly everything. In any case, that's where we are. John is 61 and I am (at least for a couple more weeks), 55. I am physically able to care for him. I feel very fortunate to be able to do it. I see so many people who cannot care for their loved ones. Although, I do wish sometimes we were back home. We moved to Georgia in 2009. The ecomony forced us to close a business we had owed for 32 years. We worked together everyday for 30 of those years. When we lost the business, we decided what else do have to lose and decided to move down here to be close to our son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren. We have a large extended family back home that we miss very much. What prompted me to write tonight was a look down memory lane. I was looking at some old pictures. We were so young, so thin and so different then. We have been married nearly 37 years. For me it was love at first sight. He says it took him about a month for the love-at-first-sight effect to kick in. I try not to be sad, but the truth is I am. At the same time, I always say that I am a very lucky woman for I am a woman who knows what it feels like to be turly loved. I am crying as write. I don't want to be sad. In any case, this has gone on too long. I just wanted to get up the courage to find an outlet. I think it's necessary. I know that reading what everyone shares in their blogs and posts has been something I look forward to and has helped me get through this. Thank you all for your honesty and the compassion you show to those who need it. It makes me feel good to know that what I have always believed is true. People are good at heart!!!! Thanks For Being There Cathy