Yeah it got better!!! Getting out of the house for awhile, even doing grocery shopping helped my attitude. And today it was just an attitude.
Today when Chris got up he instantly was very "snappy." I know that several times I took it very personally. I really need to work on this. I really think that if I was the one who had the stroke and was as disabled as he is right now, I don't think I would have one day that I would be pleasant. Today was just a tough day for him and that's
Today I'm gonna RANT!!!!!
Chris is driving me crazy!!!!! He is asking me the same questions 50,000 times over and over again. This morning he was soooooooo cranky and finally he told him so. No matter what I did for him - "It Hurt"
At 11am he asked me what I was making for dinner? So far he has asked me the same question 6 times since 11am and now it is 3:30pm.
My parents are coming over tonight and Chris and my Dad are going to watch the Phillies game. He gets so excit
So far it's been an interesting week. On a Monday and Tuesday afternoon I take care of my best girlfriends little girl. I've been doing this since she was 1 month old - so of course it seems like she is one of my own. Well, Tuesday afternoon, Sarah and I where outside in her pool and all of a sudden I heard this screaming sound. First I thought that's a strange sounding bird - and then heard this ruffling in the grass. Oh course - what did I see was the neighborhood "killer cat" with someth
I FIRED the aide today. She made her last rotten comment to Chris. This afternoon when we where laying him down to rest, I always change his brief. His legs where very stiff today and of course it was a chore to get the brief just right so that it was not digging into his legs. I guess because I made the comment about his stiffness, the aide's comment to Chris was "spread um." She left as fast as she walked in the door this morning.
Yea, maybe he is a handfull at times, and his mind is
This was a wierd weekend! First of all Chris and I slept in on Saturday morning till 11am - which of course *beep* me off because it takes so long till I get him breakfast and then get him washed and dressed. Till I finally got it all done and then got time for myself in the morning it was 2pm till he finally got out of bed. He was only up for not even 2 hours when he wanted to lay down because he had another headache. So I layed him down to rest and he never woke up till 6:30pm. Till I got
The past 2 days Chris has been saying to me that he feels he is "stressing me out."
I have tried to tell him numerous times that that is not so. Maybe I am giving him some type of signal that he is picking up on. I don't know. I do know that I have been tired the past few days. I don't want him to think this. He has been somewhat demanding lately. I really think alot of the stress I'm feeling is coming from the aide situation. I really need to deceide if I can do this without an aide -
Boy, this aide is really digging a very deep hole with me. This morning the phone rang at 6:30a. It was her. She informed me that because it was raining this morning she would not be working because her truck had no windshield wipers.
So anyway it was a very quite day, just me and Chris. And actually I was able to take care of him and get 5 hours of work done on my business. I deceided not to get upset about the situation and just contacted Chris' case manager - she got ticked off e
When I got up this morning I was in one of my cranky moods. The aide has been p---ing me off the past few days. Sometimes I would like to say - I don't need help I'll take care of Chris myself. This one is becoming a thorn in my side and really no help at all!!!!!!!!
But then at 10:30a the OT came. I expected her to just concentrate on my husband's arms - same old, same old. To my suprise she told Chris - "Today is the day, your going to try to stand up!" I just looked at her. It
Chris is doing very well. On the 4th of July, we went to a family picnic which he really enjoyed. Once it got dark our son and his girlfriend put on a fireworks display. They said the reason they did it was because Chris always for years had provided the fireworks for everyone to enjoy - and this year they wanted to do this particulary for him. We still have problems getting Chris in and out of the car. We have a basic transfer board but since Chris really can't help us it is still ver
It seems like everyday I learn something new about Chris - what he needs - how to do things better for him and how to move him so that I don't hurt him.
This weekend has been the best spent since Chris came home. We are really getting into a routine that works and I have found out that Chris cannot stay in bed after breakfast and rest till the afternoon. When he does this thats when he seems not to sleep at night. This weekend I made him get out of bed into his chair( right after break
Today was a rough day with Chris. I think my week finally came to a head. One problem is that he is not sleeping through the night. Which means that I am up 3 -4 times a night with him. He is constantly dreaming. So I am really tired today which doesn't help in dealing with him. I am also quite snappy.
With being so tired today, I really pushed myself to get the house cleaned - laundry done.
Tonight we had gotten company, family members stopped, and I could hardly keep my eyes
It seems this week we are starting to find a balance to this crazy life. The only answer I can find for this happening is the new aide that started this week. She is very compassionate. Chris really likes her - she has energy to KILL!!!! Actually I wonder if she should be on Ritalin???????
It only took her 2 days to get into a routine. She's very good with Chris and she actually does all the exercises that need to be done everyday. She actually does more than she really needs to.
This past year has been the hardest year I think I have ever lived through. I don't think it was this hard when I got my divorce from my first husband. I have lived through so many disappointments and feelings this year I don't even think I can remember it all. I think my mind has blocked it out.
But after today I don't even care if I remember any of the bad. Today I had such overwhelming emotions I cried!!!!!!!!
The physical therapist came for his appointment to work with Chris.
Well today another new aide starting working for us. This time she is younger - in her early 30's. She is a very compassionate person and I approve of the way that she talks to my husband.
She realizes that Chris needs to learn to do things for himself and doesn't feed him constantly like the previous aide did. She is very willing to do his exercises morning and afternoon. The previous aide didn't do them. Now his exercises take longer because I have to work his arms and his legs.
Today was good!
Chris had breakfast and then fell back to sleep. I could finally go get a shower without having to tell him where I was going and what I was doing. Then I got to go outside and work with my flowers.
Around 1pm, my parents came over, Chris wasn't even cleaned up yet.
My mother asked if I wanted to go out with her for a few hours and my father would stay with Chris.
Well, let me tell you, Chris got washed up really fast, dressed and ready to be transfer
I'm really not sure what's going on - maybe nothing is! Ever since the full moon a few evenings ago - Chris is different. I know they say that the full moon has an effect on people. He has been soooooooooo tired. Since Wednesday, he wakes up and has a really big breakfast and then wants to rest. Well that rest turns into 2 hours. Then I get him cleaned up and want him to get into his wheelchair and he says he tired and would rather stay in bed. He's been sleeping through lunch and has be
Today is just a fog. Once again, the aide that I was promised from the agency - never showed - should I have thought different?????? No phone calls - nothing!!! I called my husband's case manager because I have had enough. According to the rules of his waiver he gets 40 plus hours of nursing care a week. On 6/27/05, hubby will be home 1 month and I have had 6 days of help!!!!!!! Somehow this doesn't calculate to me.
I often wonder if I should do this myself - instead of putting up
Things with Chris are really starting to go good. His physical therapist is working him hard. I'm glad to see this because I really think he has the potential to recover. It has been alot for me to learn. His exercises must be done 3 times a day and everytime the therapist comes she adds more exercises to the regimen. It is taking me about 45 minutes to complete. Chris usually experiences more pain and discomfort after his exercises - I would think this is only natural. He can now eat abo
For over a week now I have been keeping a suprise from Chris. I received a phone call from his sister who lives in Maryland that she and Chris' brother where coming up today. It has been a tough secret to keep. So this morning when I got Chris up - I told him that he only had 1 1/2 hours to eat breakfast, get cleaned up and dressed. I told him that he would be receiving a suprise today. He kept trying to get out of me what was going to happen. Well we did it - he was completely finished an
The past few days have gone well. Chris had another appointment with the OT and now I am doing exercises with his good arm. She wants him to regain the strength on his unaffected side. He is very co-operative with me even tho it causes pain. I have noticed that his affected arm is getting more flexible since I have been doing his exercises 3 times a day. He is starting to show signs of his sense of humor coming back and he is smiling more and more everyday. Today he woke up at 8:15a which
Tonight I feel like a rotten creep!!!!!!!!
We really had a bad day today. Things where really going good and I am still very hopeful that my husband will improve some day. I have not given up hope.
When we where eating lunch today the OT showed up to work with Chris. Chris has been having alot of trouble eating. He has trouble getting his arm up to his mouth and when he does either the fork or spoon or whatever he may have in his hand goes off to the left cheek, he can't always se
We have had a few tough nights. I'm not used to being up in the middle of the night since the kids where little. Chris has had alot of pain lately - I don't know if its because of the therapy and his arm and leg being moved alot or what the reason is. Several times he said his foot felt like it was on FIRE!!!!!!!!!!
On Friday when the visiting nurse came we had talked about the time he was on the pain patch. He is taking Percocet every 4 hours to control his pain but it also makes him s
The past few days I have been very frustrated. I have been waiting for a phone call from the company that is working on my husbands Independence Waiver that will allow him to come home.
I have been told by the representative that I am working with that my husband will be approved but why is that phone call not coming. My biggest problem is "no patience." I have this little person sitting on my shoulder filling my head with negative thoughts.
I was hoping that when I go to see my hus
After weeks and weeks of insurance red tape, I received the confirmation that everything has been approved and that I can bring my husband home from the nursing home on 5/27/05.
I really was starting to lose faith - this process was so difficult - it shouldn't and doesn't have to be this way.
It really seemed that the nursing home didn't want to lose any money and they where part of the problem.
Anyway, my fight is now over - and the best thing that I can do for myself and my hu
I deceided to create this Blog to help me. I was advised to start journaling to get my feelings out to help me get through all of this. So I'll give it a try...............
I have been thinking back to the day of my husband's stroke. I kissed him goodbye for another day of work. Around 3pm that day I had called my husband's cell just to check in and see how his day was going. I had left a message and usualy he gets back to me within 30 minutes. An hour had passed and I still didn't he
