• entries
    84
  • comments
    348
  • views
    16,947

About this blog

Random Thoughts and Observations

Entries in this blog

We're Still Kicking!

Oh my goodness, it's been way too long since I made an entry here. Maybe things have just been moving along.   This saga starts about three weeks ago I guess. When I had my gallbladder out I had the bright idea that it would be a great time for Bill to get some much-needed physical therapy time. We made the arrangements and he went into a familiar SNF where he has had rehab before. The first week I wasn't able to get to see him, however I did get in to see him the Friday after my surgery. I n

arogers

arogers

Good Bye Summer!

Even though the temperature still says summer, rising to the low to mid 90's most days, it feels as though fall is right around the corner.I'm not sure where summer went, but it felt like it came to a screeching halt right after our vacation.   Bill was approved for a power chair at the end of July. I would guess it will arrive within the next few weeks. That is going to be exciting. A new challenge will sure be good for both of us. He is bored and I think a little depressed.   He' sleep

arogers

arogers

Home Again, Home Again

As my son said at the airport before my departure for home, "Mom, this was just so wonderful. It was good for the soul." As I sat outside in the mornings, there is something about the fresh Michigan air that cannot be duplicated. We had a bit of rain one afternoon and evening and that was it. It was cool, but with a sweater I didn't even notice the coolness.   I continue to be amazed at Matt. He is such a wonderful father. He never raises his voice. When he asks the boys to set the table, the

arogers

arogers

HOW TIME FLIES

I just noticed the date since my last blog entry and it has been five months since I last posted any thoughts. That in itself isn't so surprising to me since I have never been good at sharing my thoughts - even with myself in a diary. I remember thinking when I got that diary as a teenager how much trouble I'd get in if anybody saw some of the thoughts that crossed my mind! Needless to say those thoughts never saw the pages of that diary.   Tonight I find myself in Michigan writing this blog

arogers

arogers

I'm a Caregiver...

"Bless (his) her heart." It's a comment we hear alot in the south. Usually I hear it when the person has done something we don't think is exactly appropriate. After having read the posts to Sue's blog I decided I'd have a try at getting everybody's blood boiling.   I won't try to speak for Sue, let's just say that if I were writing her message I would not have meant it to be chastising to caregivers in any way. I don't think Sue did either. I would not have meant caregivers should neglect oth

arogers

arogers

For everything there is a season....

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under Heaven. A time to give birth, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to uproot that which is planted. A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to tear down, and a time to build up. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time too mourn, and a time to dance. Ecclesiastes 3:1-3   Mak Key Choe Rogers. November 3, 1953 - October 26, 2008   Choe Rogers was born in Korea. Her parents both died when she

arogers

arogers

September already

I can't believe it's been a month since I've blogged. I know I'm not very good at keeping up with my blogs. I don't know where the time goes. I do know the house is larger than the apartment, but it is still just Bill and me.   Several exciting things have happened in the last month. So many times I write when I'm worried or feeling bad but today it's not that way.   At Bill's last neurological appointment he scored 19/30 on the short test he is given at each visit. That was up three poin

arogers

arogers

A Melancholy Evening

I went to the "real age" website and took the test for Bill. He is 59 years old with a real age of 79.5 years. I think that may be a little young. I have looked at pictures of Bill since his strokes and certainly there is a rapid aging progression visible. Physically he probably isn't any worse than right after his strokes. In fact, we have very few emergencies anymore. He just keeps plugging along.   The changes now come from his Vascular Dementia. I just wish he could have some good days. T

arogers

arogers

oh my achin' back

I have always been real stubborn about visits to the doctor. I go because I have to go and I go for my physical every year. I HAD to go on Monday, after having had a miserable week-end filled with shoulder and back pain. The real mistake was taking two Advil about five o'clock, the another three Advil about ten when I was trying to get to sleep - then taking a Voltarin for my back about two in the morning. By morning I was sick to my stomache and the pain hadn't gotten any better. Bill had a phy

arogers

arogers

More to Life than a new Home!

We are still basking in the newness of our home. It is again such FUN to cook. It has been a long, long time since I've had a kitchen where I can move around, have a pantry and can choose which counter I want to use when I have a task to perform. We had our first family cook-out Saturday and it was fun to have the family here. (Even though we did have a scare with my sister-in-law.)   We had quite a week last week. I just read Sue's blog and surely understand her situation with the incontinen

arogers

arogers

A House becomes a Home

Since we closed on our new home June 27th we've been in a real whirlwind. We'd lived among the boxes for several weeks and I knew I'd come to the end of my packing so I called in the troops as I'd planned. I hired a couple to finish packing and clean the apartment for me. No, all was not perfect but adequate has become just good enough for me now.   Our movers were scheduled to come the first of July to move us. Far be it from me to question the "experts" but I did wonder about their appoint

arogers

arogers

It's All Good

It's so nice to have a good week. My mantra of "just for today" serves me well. I've learned to take each day as a gift. What is the saying? Yesterday is gone, tomorrow may not come, today is a gift - that's why it's called 'the present'.   I just posted a picture of the exterior of the house. It isn't great since it was taken before the rubbish had been removed, but I'd been meaning to do it for weeks and couldn't wait any longer! Yesterday we took Bill's mom out to see it. I wanted to wait

arogers

arogers

I don't pray for patience.

If you have read Sue's blogs and my blogs you no doubt have noticed the comparisons I make between her Ray and my Bill. Their conditions really do parallel one another so if I write about a particular challenge, you can bet Sue has been experiencing it as well - or will in the future.   In the past Bill has experienced very obvious and sudden steps down in his mental and physical health. The changes seem to be more subtle now. He has always been fastidious about himself, but now is less intere

arogers

arogers

It's SPRING

The dogwoods are in full blossom and the azaleas are coming into their peak. The weather is finally warming and we are now down to only about two to three rainy days a week. I think how quickly I have become spoiled by the short winters of the south and don't feel a bit homesick for snow!   I remember seven years ago at about this time I was hoping the snow of northern Michigan would be gone before Bill came up to visit. He arrived on the 30th of April - barely a week after the last of the d

arogers

arogers

ALIVE AND WELL IN NORTH CAROLINA!

A dear friend just warned me about my blog .... since we don't much care for cold, damp, smelly caves I guess it must be time for me to sit down and do a little blogging!   I have loved living in an apartment. We live in a comfortable three bedroom apartment and the complex is really lovely. All in all, we have enjoyed little disruption to our lives and that is good. Last summer we got new neighbors upstairs. We have had neighbors upstairs before and I know we were spoiled. Our last neighbors

arogers

arogers

Out with the Old, In with the New

You know they say "fake it 'till you make it" for many attitudes. If you aren't happy - fake it 'till you make it. If you aren't grateful - fake it till you make it. If you aren't in the Christmas spirit - fake it 'till you make it. For me, it does work. As you all know, I was not ready to be jolly and put a Christmas tree with all trimmings up. Well, since that post I've put the tree up, decorated the fireplace mantel, shopped 'till I nearly dropped, baked and even sent my cards out so my frien

arogers

arogers

A Different Attitude

This is the first year I can ever remember that I don't want to do Christmas. I mean, I don't want to get the tree out, decorate it, decorate the house, do the baking, do the shopping and generally put on the "ho ho ho" face. So, what do I do? Go through the motions? How far can this go for me? Maybe it's because I'm tired. And I'll admit it, a little resentful to have a 20 year old in the house who isn't any "trouble" other than the mental issue of mothering. Yes, he runs the vaccuum, yes he ta

arogers

arogers

This is the WEEK!!!

Today I met with the nurse careplanner and the admissions social worker at the SNF. All is set for Bill's discharge. He will be released from therapy and he has no acute medical problems requiring him to stay at the facililty any longer. Originally it was my impression Bill would come home Wednesday. Today I learned he will be discharged Thursday. When I told him he'd come home Thursday, Bill certainly wasn't happy, but I explained PT needed to discharge him and everything was fine. I had to lau

arogers

arogers

The Countdown begins!

I met with the PT, OT, ST and one of the social workers Friday. The meeting arose as a result of a meeting with Janie Thursday when she told me Bill was going to be released from their services November 7th. It seems that since he is coming home he has plateaued, however, if the plan was for him to stay at the SNF new objectives would be written and he would qualify to stay for further therapy. I'm just not sure what sense that makes, however, maybe it's a good thing I've gotten the bump. We did

arogers

arogers

Caregiving - Skilled Nursing Facility Style

This story will tell the reason the caregiver's responsibilities change when a loved one goes into a Skilled Nursing Facility, but they do not vanish.   Sunday I noticed Bill had "missed" the toilet so there was urine on the floor in his bathroom. I cleaned it up, but a little was left right at the base of his toilet - the same toilet that had a problem with the flapper causing it to run until it was adjusted. Monday when I went to see him it seemed as though the floor had not been washed. Th

arogers

arogers

Decisions not Regrets

I'm not sure why it's easier for me to blog when things are great. Maybe it's because I want to share the good times but feel more secure holding the not so good things in so you don't see the real me. It's easier that way.   I can't deny that this has probably been the most difficult week we have had since any of Bill's strokes. Of course we have dealt with the challenges of the vascular dementia for about a year in a real serious way. A year ago Bill was hospitalized with anemia and at tha

arogers

arogers

One Day at a Time

What a week-end we've had! This past week-end Fellowship Hall celebrated it's annual conference of recovery. Now, I know if you've read any of my blogs or postings you've noticed my signature includes "Just for Today" That's because I'm not ashamed to tell you I'm a grateful member of Al Anon. The week-end was spent attending five speaker meetings with nearly 700 other folks living a 12-step program of recovery and healing. I am privileged to be a part of the Council of Fellowship Hall and we ar

arogers

arogers

ANOTHER MONTH - WHERE DOES THE TIME GO?

I just looked at my last blog - seems impossible that a month has passed. In that short time changes have occured, and it seems like we live such a simple life!   Trey has moved here and is with us. At one time I would have really, really dreaded it and it would not have worked at all. Now, though I'm ok. He has grown up so much. Still, he wants to do things his way, but he is a huge help. He wants to get his own apartment, and I certainly know he will, but for now he is with us until he gets

arogers

arogers

I Don't Know What Happened!

Yesterday I wrote one of my long blogs. I don't know what happened to it! Maybe I didn't include a title so it went into the land fill of untitled blogs....It's so hard to even remember yesterday, let alone what I must have written. Oh well, I guess the therapy is in the writing, not necessarily the remembrance of the content. Maybe writing is a way of letting go - now that is a good thing.   I know I reflected in the fact that it's been almost a month since I've blogged. And of course, when

arogers

arogers

Memories

This is a day of memories. I feel blessed to be able to remember my Dad in a very precious way. I can't remember ever hearing anyone say one harsh thing about my father. He was loved by his community, business associates, clients, extended family and our family as well. I remember once my mother said to my middle brother (out of a little exasperation) "you are just like your dad"....His response? "That's just who I want to be like."   Some of my most chaerished memories - when I heard my dad

arogers

arogers