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Random Thoughts and Observations

Entries in this blog

The Beach

This is a copy of a letter I sent to my family and friends from Michigan. I hope you all enjoy - it's great to be home now, but what a wonderful time we had.   Well, I've just spent my very first OFFICIAL vacation at the "beach". I have found it so interesting since I've been here in Greensboro how strange it is to hear about people going to the beach since in Michigan it was never more than a 5 minute drive to the beach for me. (I think I've mentioned how difficult it has been for me to have

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Some things are best left unknown for me

I've blogged before about the information gathering for Bill's zyprexa claim. Among the many health facilities' information I had to forward was the information from the hospital he went to after his 10/2004 stroke. The ER notes totaled 22 pages and the folks at the Medical Records department seemed genuinely surprised that ER notes were so extensive.   Day before yesterday I happened to read these notes more closely than I had before. I know that what is past is past. Nothing that happened o

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Caregivers Support Group

As a result of my long overdue acceptance that my caregiver duties are wearing me out I committed (to myself) that I would attend the monthly meeting for Caregivers. Yesterday was the day. It was a wonderful experience, and I know I'll go back. Not only that, I'm going to enroll Bill in the respite activities.   I was introducing myself yesterday when it finally dawned on me. Yes, I have been caring for Bill just over two years. However, I resigned my position with the University June 1, 200

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The Women's Torture Chamber

My day began Tuesday with a trip to the ultra sound monster. The phlebitis was confirmed, however, as the tech reported to her support person "she couldn't tolerate" checking the deep veins under the surface veins in the usual way. Not tolerate was un understatement. I wanted to strike her - and strike her HARD when she even looked at the enflamed vein.   In the end she said she thought I'd be an excellent candidate for vericose vein surgery, and I agreed with her.   Yesterday I spent mos

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TAKE IT EASY ON ME

Last night I was at an Al Anon meeting. This is much like Al Anon, you know. This is a support group, just as Al Anon is a support group. Actually I work my 12 step recovery program with this now. I don't live in active alcoholism anymore. The topic last night was brought by a lady who said she could overlook any inadequacy you can think of in another, but let her make a mistake and she'd beat herself up for days. Now that sounds familiar. Pefectionism. Trying to make up for some imaginary inade

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Time's Toll

I know it's a combination of genes, lifestyle, and stress. Last week at the doctor's one of my arm's blood pressure read 150/100. I don't think that was correct since it was taken over a shirt. The other arm did read too high though - 132/83 I believe.   Sunday I didn't feel well. I felt much like I have in the past when my blood sugar took a dive. I ate a little slice of a fruit bread then took my blood sugar about 15 minutes later. 234. That can't be right, I'll take it again. 270. Now I

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Anything Worth Doing

I've been faced with the need for a back-up plan for help with Bill. I'm working on it. And I know why I've put it off so long. The choices are mind boggling. What do I really need? How long do I need it for? How often? I am finding the agencies want to come in on a consistent schedule. OK - let's say 4 hours a week. Fine - what if I need more time, in a hurry.....That's what I really need. Respite care can't always be scheduled!   I'll keep searching because I know it's important and availab

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Looking Good

Sue's recent blog brings to light in my mind exactly what I do for Bill to "cover" the situation. Pre stroke Bill was a real clothes horse. I mean, he had (and still has) more clothes than me. His shirts are starched stiff and he comes from a place where he even had his jeans starched and pressed so heavily they could nearly stand on their own. My thought has always been I don't want to take that away from him because it is something he remembers and holds dear.   I constantly hear from frie

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The Caregiver is Down...

Rarely over the past two years (plus) have I experienced any ailment or malady to speak of. I count myself blessed. Right now though, I am officially down for the count - and in fact when I finish here I will go back to bed. Seems the board is one of my "addictions".   About 17 years ago I experienced some pretty difficult time with my back. From then until now things have been pretty good. I noticed it last week - a little more tightness, a little more sore. By Friday I was pretty miserable.

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We don't usually come out for that....

I don't think I've ever blogged twice in one day, let alone hours after my last blog. I need to do a little venting.   As I write, in the background at a rate of about once every 35 seconds one of our smoke detectors lets out an ungodly beep...or is that bleep? No, the bleep comes from me. It started late last night - by late, I mean about 10 p.m. By the time I had everything settled down and attempted to silence the dumb thing it was about 10:45. My 5'3" frame just can't reach these 10" ceil

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"What do you do all day?"

We went out to dinner with friends last evening. During the course of the conversation Bill commented about how quickly the week had flown past. Allen looked at Bill and asked "what do you do all week?" - with the emphasis in DO. Bill didn't know how to answer him!   We don't have to get up and go to work anymore. But the weeks do fly past - oh no, I guess that happens when we get older, doesn't it? Each day is "full" nonetheless.   Bill sleeps in the mornings, I get up and do some clean

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To Know or Not to Know

I've blogged here about the class action law suit Bill has been a part of and the fact that we are now at a point where the Extraordinary Injury Fund settlement is in full swing. As part of that phase we agreed to get all medical records gathered and forwarded to the law firm. Last week we delivered all our requests and received back several sets of notes from doctors and one of the hospitals. This past week the records have continued to come in.   There are some things about Bill's medical/e

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Breath Deeply

Just for Today", "One Day at a Time", "Think".....these are all familiar little quips to me. Really, when I become stressed it is second nature now for me to resort to one of my Al Anon sayings and to take a deep breath. I did this yesterday - and continue today.   We have been busy making our rounds to some 14 practices and facilities in search of medical records for Bill's lawsuit. Tuesday we stopped by his neuro-ophthalmalogist's office and I said Bill had wanted an appointment way back in

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I love a fireplace

THIS REALLY ISN'T NEW - I JUST NOTICED IT WAS NEVER PUBLISHED AND IT WAS FROM JANUARY 28TH. JUST A LITTLE DRAMA IN THE LIFE OF BILL AND ANN!!!   I've been enjoying our fireplace. I've had one complaint though. It seems like if it wasn't on "high" I could smell gas. I was told once that if you can smell gas when there is a fire everything is fine. The danger lies in a leak without odor. It's been quite cold, so I've lit the fireplace, turned the flame down and just let it go.   Friday afte

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I don't think I'm THAT old!

Yesterday I got a "fill" in of my nails and Bill had a manicure. It's a nice thing to do for ourselves and saves me one little job.   The Vietnamese folks that routinely do our nails are just as sweet as they can be and are so careful with Bill. I think it is a respect for their elders that somehow we Americans have lost over the years of creating a ME first mentality in our children.   Leon did my fill and was real interested in our vacation. He asked if we had flown to Florida - no was m

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We're Home

It's a sad thing. I've discovered that when I went on vacation, so did my brain. Either that or gremlins invaded the house while we were gone - and for a time I was totally convinced that had happened. Now though, it's Friday and we've been home since Monday. The house is getting back in order and my brain is too - I think.   I may have mentioned it before - Bill has been part of a class action law suit involving a medication he's needed for years. The first part of the suit is over now, howe

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Vacation with a Wheelchair

This vacation is just what the doctor ordered! We are a month - 3/21/05 - short of Bill's 2nd anniversary of his 3rd stroke. I never know which one to "count" since there were varying limitations resulting from the last two. It doesn't much matter, the changes post-stroke are still there.   We are staying in a love B & B right across from the water. I'll post some pics when we get home since I forgot the cable I need to post pictures. We had one glitch. Since it is an old facility the bat

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How Time Flies

I've been reading blogs, but haven't written anything for nearly a month! It seems like life has been moving along and I've become a little brain burned, without anything much to share, but enjoying everybody else's blogs.   I'm pretty well packed for the trip to St. Augustine. Yesterday we went shopping for Bill. Going on vacation is always a good excuse for new socks and underwear! Feeling a little guilty about my purchases we got him two new pairs of shorts and a new shirt, too. I'm not su

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The big toe

Oops, was I getting too complacent? Too confident that things are going well? More proof that I need to take a day at a time I guess.   Last evening Bill asked me to check his big toe - on his affected side, no less, because it feels like he has an ingrown toenail. This is the toe that he stubbed a few weeks ago and I've worked hard to keep from becoming infected. Today we go to the doctor. I noticed this morning the toe seems to be "feverish" and looks a little swollen and now appears red at

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An Uneventful Week - YES!

Each week that passes without crisis is a blessing. That's the way I see it. I'm becoming more accustomed to these weeks, and want to relax in the feeling they bring. Last year at this time Bill was in the hospital, then in February he was in a skilled nursing facility. This year he is doing real well.   Sometimes it's easier to comment on another's thoughts than it is to express my own. I can see and feel the angst in some writings, and identify so well with those feelings. I also know tho

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THE WEDDING

Our trip to Glasgow, Kentucky was a good one for us. We drove to Knoxville Thursday - a trip of around 260 miles. That was long enough for Bill. On Friday we went on to Glasgow, another 250 miles or so. Another ride through the mountains, as much of the previous day had been. I knew we'd be going downhill most of the rest of the trip since we just kept going up and up on our way.   The GPS system we'd gotten before the trip is so neat. We couldn't get over putting an address in and heading o

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Out with the Old

I've never much thought about that term..."out with the old". Socks? Underwear? Towels? Habits? Attitudes? Friends? Family? Today I'm thinking about it though, as one would be expected to on December 31st I guess.   I've never made a resolution because I've only heard how they are to be broken. Why bother thinking about something I want to change, when in the back of my mind I'm wondering when my resolve will evaporate? I've been amused when a friend told me he is going to stop smoking New Ye

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A Very Merry Christmas Indeed

Last Christmas when Trey wondered about coming "home" for Christmas I told him I thought it important that he do so since with his dad's health in such an unstable condition it may well be his last with him. Bill had been in the hospital and was not doing well at all.   Trey came in yesterday evening to spend the holidays with us. He found his dad in very good spirits and probably as good health as he's experienced in years. Yes, he still has all of those deficiencies he's had since his stro

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A Week to Go

This has been a real good week. Bill had a couple of doctor's appointments, but nothing big. He's just perking along. Last evening a friend told me that she has noticed such improvement in him over the past year. I tend to focus on the immediate past, but in retrospect she is right. Last year this time was pretty bleak.   Yesterday we had the family Christmas gathering for Mom Roger's siblings. Everybody was amazed at how good Bill is. I told him afterward though that it does bother me when p

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The Computer Knows Best

I blogged yesterday. It was not a pretty sight. Funny thing is, I don't remember all that was in it - but I remember the feelings I had.   At the time the site was having problems it was suggested we go to Microsoft and download a patch. Somehow IE7 downloaded - my doing, I'm sure. Since that time I've been struggling with my computer freezing. Yesteray when I went to post my blog it happened. FREEZE....lost the blog. I think it was my computer doing for me what I couldn't do for myself. (Th

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