Greg and I have a very tight knit group of friends who have tiptoed around me since my stroke for fear of upsetting me in some way. Last Tues evening we were all out to supper and I noticed no-one handled me with kid gloves, it was great! I was able to go to the loo without all the ladies jumping up offering help!! I was also told that my eyes are sparkling again, so maybe the uphill road to recovery has evened out a little?
Last Fri evening Greg and I had a small fall out. :Tantrum: We were both in "out of sorts moods" and were ticking each other off. I eventually went to bed and sulked for a bit and realised we were having a "normal" tiff. This had nothing to do with my stroke - and that relevation actually got me out of bed and I apologised for being in a off mood. Wow - a normal tiff!!!! And this time I didn't burst into tears and feel sorry for myself. I apologised, we hugged and it was all ok again. :big_gri
Cape Town was great fun, we visited far too many wine farms :cocktail: resulting in my sister and I being silly and giggly, something we hadn't done for a long time! Greg, bless him, drove us around and took photo's, so we had a good laugh the next day! It was so good to have fun with my sister again. So, it's back to routine again.
Tonight Greg and I will be on a plane to Cape Town to visit my sister for a long weekend. I had my stroke in Cape Town whilst visiting my sister last year. Now I'm not daft enough to think that Cape Town gave me my stroke but I know I'm going to have those "When I was here last......" thoughts. I think I may have an emotional weekend ahead of me. Poor Greg!
Last Sat evening we went to a fancy dress party, which turned out to be a fantastic evening. I had such a good time, I was even on the dance floor! I felt a bit self-concious with my left arm not joining in but I actually don't think too many people were taking much notice of my arm! So I can still jiggle my bum with the rest!!!!!
Here in Durban we don't often get big names performing so when one does come to town, I'm the first to book tickets. Well, Robbie Williams was in town last night and I dragged Greg and another couple to the show. I didn't realise that the seats I had booked were right at the top of the rugby stadium. So up we trudge and up and up and up!!!!! Anyway, we got to our seats and back down again after the show without any mishaps. We took longer than everyone else but who cares? I did it!!!! :bouncing_
My OT asked me this morning what exercises do I do at home? I started giggling because all my home exercises are "made up". For example, when I'm in the bath, I reach for the shampoo or at least I try to! Then once out the bath, I practise balancing on one leg paying special attention to not letting my knee conk in!!! As you can tell I have ABSOLUTELY nothing exciting to blog about!!!
Last Fri we went to support SA playing Australia - which was great except we lost !!!! Sue - I was wearing a green hat along with 20 000 other SA supporters, so I didn't stand out in the crowd!!!!
Wednesday is my 1st Anniversary. I'm feeling a bit weird, can't explain it, this time last year (7th) I was having a ball with my sister planning what to do on her birthday (8th) and funnily enough ICU was not one of the things on our list!!!! Happy Birthday for tomorrow Sis, hope you have a better day than last year. Damn - now I'm crying (not a good thing to do at work).
I have a lovely OT and usually our sessions are quite productive, but this morning I got quite irritated. She was trying to get me to flick my fingers and move a balloon. Well - if I could flick my damn fingers, I wouldn't be sitting opposite her would I?
Everything is such an effort these days, I'm getting really bummed with this constant exhaustion that follows me everywhere. I really don't know how the people with kids manage to cope so well, just the thought of having a baby is exhausting! So yes, I'm sick and tired of being tired all the time, obviously it's one of "those" days!.
Well, I'm back at work and normal routine
Mauritius was absolutely fantastic, one week was not long enough though. The only thing I found I battled with was exhaustion, I only watched the evening show once
I was also extremely concious of my walking, but I still did lots of fun things, like para-gliding and snorkelling, which was great. :happydance:
So, it's back to therapy, therapy, therapy!!!!
On Sat 21 Jan, I had my big day and it was fantastic. Everything went according to plan, even the weather played along. The only change I made was to go shoe-less, I wasn't confident enough to wear the shoes I had taken along, so I went barefoot, and as it was a country wedding, no-one looked twice. I have never received as many compliments as I did on Sat and it was great! Lots of champagne was consumed by all and everyone had a great time. :cocktail:
I hope my spell of bad health will turn around now. Last week I got chicken pox!!! I'm 34yrs old, about to get married and if having a stroke wasn't bad enough, I caught pox. What a year 2005 was!! For me, being sick is unheard of. I have always been the healthy one, until last year! Luckily, my Dr put me on a high doseage of antibiotics straight away and I am now starting to feel a bit more like myself and the spots are going away, so I should be fine in my dress, fingers crossed. So my New Yea
Xmas has come and gone again for another year. We had a super day and Santa spoilt us both, so why did I break down and sob my heart out for about an hour that evening? I didn't have any less fun this year than any other even with my limitations, I guess I miss my family more than I realise. Greg was the ever supportive fiance, I really am lucky to have him in my life, but I just couldn't stop crying Thankfully the next morning I felt better again!
I think acceptance has finally come. If I'm going to walk with this stupid limp, so be it. If my hand is not going to work, so be it. I'm tired of stressing about getting my walking right, and I'm coping ok one handed. Pity about water-skiing and beach volley ball, but hey, life goes on! I'd like to wish everyone out there Happy holidays, I hope we all eat far too much and have LOTS of fun.
Funny how I will write about anything to get off page 2!!! Last weekend I got a bit sunburnt and now I'm itching! And I'm sure my right side is a lot more itchier than my left, simply cause I can't scratch. I'm sure its my brain playing games with me... Ha Ha, lets make the right arm itch more, she can't scratch it!!!!!!! Summer has hit South Afria, so its hot sunny days spent in the pool till about April. Right, that should take me to page one!!
Chatting to Sue the other day, I told her that its exhausting being brave all the time, so we decided it's ok being half-brave!!! At times, I just want to bury my head in the sand and only surface when this has all passed! But, I can't, I'm too busy "being ok". In front of work colleagues, friends and family, I'm doing great, but actually I'm just getting through each day. It's no wonder I collapse in bed at the end of the day!
I'm out of trainers! I bought myself a pair of Rocky type sandles for my poor feet. Being cooped up in trainers in the South African summer is VERY uncomfortable, so they can now breathe again! I managed to walk ok in them this weekend, so I brought another pair of sandles to work today so I can practise walking with a little bit of a heel. So far I've nearly twisted my ankle only twice!!!!! Hopefully, practise makes perfect?
Greg has gone away for 4 nights, last night being the first. I really enjoyed having the place to myself and can bumble around at my own pace. Poor Greg, though, is not coping too well. On the phone this morning, I could hear in his voice that he was not a happy camper, he is really worried about me being at home alone. At least when he gets home I would have proven to him (and myself) that I can cope with being alone.
I'm not sure if this just happens to me or other stroke survivors? Some days I wake up feeling a lot stronger. Today is one of those days, even my speech is better. And I'm not sure what is different between yesterday and today? I sleep well every night, so it's not just the result of a good night's sleep. My balance seems better today, so my walking is slightly stronger, lets hope tomorrow is even better!!
My therapist has told me to try and include my affected left arm/hand in as many activities as possible. So, I've started holding the toothpaste tube with my left hand and unscrewing the lid with my right. Apparently though, I pull funny faces while holding the tube!! I didn't even realise I was doing this until Greg asked me why the funny face? Now I've got to try without pulling faces!!!!
My knee hyper-extends when walking, so my therapist has strapped my knee to try and stop it. It is very uncomfortable but I will persevere in the hope that it helps my walking. When you hear of someone having had a stroke, you don't realise just what goes into the recovery process. Re-learning to use a knife and fork again is proving to be a bit more difficult than I first imagined it, as is walking.
Perseverance is failing the first 19 times and succeeding on the 20th. Here's to walking a bit
