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A Day In My Life...

Entries in this blog

Life's Curve Ball

What do you do when life throws you a curve ball? That's what life feels like since the stoke. It's like two steps forward and two steps back...no matter what I do I keep showing up in the exact same spot I was in 1 year ago May 7th. I've tried throwing the damn balls back but since the right sided weakness they just fall to the ground, go figure! Man I would have not... IN A MILLION YEARS... thought I would have had a stroke. I can't keep up the it's going to be okay thing anymore, because

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Coping Stratgies

I have started blogging several times but seemed to erase it. I don't want to offend those that was hit a lot harder by stroke then myself, but then I got to thinking. I had a stroke also, I suffer from good days and bad days like everyone else here so why should I feel guilty because I wasn't left with any visible deficients. Fixing the inside will fix the outside (in many cases), so I too have to fix the inside.   I found this article posted by our host Jean (I think), this is just a synop

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Living with Fatigue

I went to Niagara Falls for the Easter weekend and I might add it was quite relaxing :cloud9: ...I had a great time but soon realized that I still suffer from a great deal of fatigue. It's Thursday and have been home since Monday and still feel crappy. I thought I was much further in my recovery phase but I guess not. The headaches are back with full force and the fatigue is a monster. All the walking that we did made me realize that I can't do the things I use to. The weakness is not as bad as

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Chasing My Tail

I've been doing some thinking today and I have learned that I have been waiting to die :death: . I know this sounds kinda morbid but instead of trying to live I have been scared to start my life again since the stoke. I know most of my fellow bloggers know what part of my problem is, but "she" is not what stops my progress. I will be going to work soon, but every time I am sure to go something else comes up with my health. The latest is the headaches have started again. Most of them I contribute

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An Idiot's Comment

Why-oh-why does the statement goes: Behind every great man is a woman...The statment was made to me today by a family member I might add that really got me going and once again on my soapbox :Soapbox: .   I am currently standing on my own not BEHIND anyone. No one stood BEHIND me when I made my own way. It was not an easy paved road either...I might add. All the decisions I made affected me and my future, no one elses but my son. Unfortunately, I gave a lot of the partying and hanging out to

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Mrs. Know It All Is At It Again...

Why through life do we spend our time trying to satisfy others?   Mrs. know it all is at again, I find it hard to have a conversation with her I have noticed in the passing weeks I spend as little time as possible talking to her. Problem I find is I let her be right. You try to be subtle but you can't...I mean how do you manage to have a voice and be heard? Since my stroke I have noticed that I don't have a lot of patience for BS. I don't know if I should blame it on the stroke or just the fa

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My usually "RANTING" about nothing...ENJOY

I started blogging a few times and still came up with this...Nothing. Everything I want to say I am scared to say for the fear of offending someone who doesn't even know this site exsist. There is a lot that I have learned about my family(not just my mother) that I don't like. I am not proclaiming to be prefect in no way, shape, or form but it is what it is. I want to open their eyes to the world and allow them to see that there is more to life than the rut they have been stuck in generation aft

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Why does the well want to be sick?

I wonder if it's just me, but I have a family member who I feel that they would like to be sick or with ailment for the attention it brings. This individual just found out that they have a legitimate problem with their leg after several months. Problem I have is that since the diagnosis they have magnified the pain X10. I can totally sympathize(sp) with them on the pain...when I get the migraines they are real weather someone understands what I am going through or not. Before the diagnosis they

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Understanding A Stroke Survivor

I find that the more I blog the more I want to blog. It's like allowing strangers into my life and getting to hear their views of me. I call this site free therapy. All the advice given is the best to receive. How else could someone suggest what to do if they have never even experienced it personally. Text book knowledge is different. All those who has written about what we "SHOULD" be experiencing since the stroke really don't know what it's like to have had one. It's WAY different. I sometimes

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Dysfuntional Families...I Got One

Since my journey to recovery I began I find that I have learned that was a lot going on around me that I didn't even realize. I know my life/work contributed to my stroke, but I only just recently discovered that those surrounding me also contributed. I never realized that my family was sooo dysfunctional. Yesterday I attended my nephews 4th birthday party and the funny thing I found was eventhough the kids were all over the place they were the only normal ones in the house.   I could go on

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Jumbled thought and Inner Peace

WARNING: TONITES BLOG IS NOT OF MY NORMALLY (HUMOROUS) STUFF. I HAD A DEEP THINKING KINDA DAY THAT DIDN'T INCLUDE ANYONE BUT ME. NO PHONE CONVERSATION OVER 5 MINUTES...AND IT FELT GOOD. SO NO ONE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO ANNOY ME. PROCEED WITH CAUTION! :Flame-On:   I spent most of the day deciding if I should or shouldn't blog...Well here I am. Lately my gears have shifted to acceptance of what has happen to me when I had the stroke in May 2005. I am approaching a year and thought that I sho

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Sleepless Nites...Full of suggestion mothers

Well here I am another morning after a sleepless night. Now I know the routine I will remain awake for fear of napping throughout my day thinking it will cause sleepless nights and the headaches...problem is I don't sleep anyway. It's like a vicious cycle I can't break.   I had a brief conversation with my mother this morning while taking my son to school. I don't know if I am cranky from the sleeplessness, but my God how does one person know EVERYTHING :uhm: ? I was talking with her about my

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I need some new rose colored glasses

Today was just another day...my mood has shifted from the life through the rose colored glasses to just my mere existance. I think I need some new glasses. I find I clean to do my best thinking, but I fatigue after several hours and then it's time to pick my son up from school as soon as I get sleepy. So now I am in zombie mode so tough that I locked the cat in the coat closet, I didn't even see her go in. She usually runs in when the door opens but I didn't see or hear her I THINK...all I know

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One crazy day

I finally stopped and smelled the roses...and it felt good. Now it's only been a couple of days but it's more than before. I can see where this is going to take me. All good places. Problem is though I have become easily annoyed with certain people in my life. I could be expecting everyone to change...or that freaken "FULL MOON" :roflmao: is changing me.   I know it effects a lot of people mood and attitude. I spoke with a prior friend and co-worker today and she told me that the ER (where I

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Who Has Our Best Interest...The Doctor Or Us?

I was trying to think of something to blog and it came to me today on the news...Plavix and ASA combination more harmful than helpful. Here I am taking this stuff for the last 6 months and beating myself up (with the help of my doc) because my cholestrol increases to 253 from 171 (it wasn't even high before the stroke). One would be left to belive I have done nothing since my stoke besides laid back eating and sleeping living the good life because I don't have to work. Now that I think back to m

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If It's Not One Thing It's Another...

I haven't blogged in a few days...It's really amazing how the fatigue affects the body. I had a few things happen. I received the 30 day heart monitor, the thing is irritating has heck . It's not a 24 hour continuous monitor, but instead a 24 hour push a button in as needed if I feel racing, discomfort, etc. etc. Problem, I never said the racing or discomfort was on a daily basis just sometimes maybe daily maybe not. There was nothing I could say ever contributed to the chest pain I could be ju

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Proud to be a member

Well today I received my 30 day heart monitor, and it's not as intimidating as I thought it would be. It's small and although I am to keep it on 24/7 I have to push a button only when I have symptoms. These symptoms only started after my PFO closure. I refuse to ignore anymore symptoms because when I did I had a stroke.   I'm learning from reading blogs and post that my progress, after the stroke, is normal. I can appreciate when someone is still recovering years later. It allows myself and o

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Jumbled thoughts...Mind never sleeps

I have decided to track my progress with the advice of another member and actually letting the crap out of my head helps. I can't wait to read these blogs a month or a year from now and see how I have grown. I have been trying to get with an ex-coworker to try to get some sort of stroke awareness going. I don't know I just have always been drawn to making others aware since I stroked. It amazed me how little others know including myself.   Another topic: Monday is a big day for me...I have to

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Trying to get Non-strokers to understand...

Today I seemed to want to talk and begin to open up about what's going on in head to others. It's amazing how all this (a stroke) is viewed by family and friends who never had a stroke. Although they try to understand they REALLY don't. We all know a stroke is a stroke is a stroke, but if you don't have physical deficiets others will not think it ever happened. I asked my BF last night am I the same person as before the stroke and his answer surprised me he said "yeah". Sometimes I want to say h

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Survivors Club

Today was quite the interesting day I had my usual headache, chest pain, and fatigue. I dare not say this out loud because I think I am beginning to be thought of has a hypocondriac. Since my stroke in May of 2005 several people that I know have stroked. It is truly amazing like there is a club everyone wants to get in. Only thing once your in you never get out. I am going to start some sortof stoke awareness eventually. Being a nurse I feel this is something I need to do while I am not working.

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Educating about strokes...

I just found that typing hurts my hand alot less than writing, I've been trying to keep a journel...I needed to get a few things off my chest but just remember how to use this blog. It is now 1am and I am tired but I never seem to sleep. Since the stroke I am less active and I don't fall asleep just stay fatigued. I look in the mirror and don't even notice myself sometimes. I'm only 35 but I feel so much older with the constant aches I experience. Everything hurts sometimes. I am physically able

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