Rob and I were have a conversation the other morning - and he warned me (teasingly) that if I was mean to him, he would tell my strokenet buddies. And then he said, that well you would all stick up for me. I assured him that if my strokenet buddies ever got wind I was remotely mean to him, that you'all would take me to task for that. He is a protected species.
I just read a post by vanillamoon - and it gave me a reminder of why I'm here and how valuable this site is. She described a stroke (she as survivor) as "an earthquake in her head". I can relate to that analogy, being from Alaska and experiencing more earthquakes than I can count over the past 40+ years (including the 9.2 in 1964). Her description really got my attention, and gave me shivers - it was just a little wake up call and reminder of how it must be for my husband. Being able to cons
I'm feeling my personal life is stabilizing. One of the more interesting aspects that I've noticed is although Rob and I have a strong relationship, and are going through this rehab and adapting together physically, we go at different paces emotionally. The other day when we were talking I felt that it is just now occuring to Rob that no matter how better he gets, and although there may be no visible effects to other people, his body will likely always feel different. Another interesting area
My conference got over about an hour earlier than expected on Wednesday, this gave me the opportunity to catch an earlier flight to Seattle and then go standby home. Took me three flights to get on standby, and I got home five hours earlier than scheduled. This was a huge relief because making the 2 1/2 hour drive in the wee early morning hours wasn't something that I was looking forward to and I was pretty excited to get home by 10:00 PM. Rob greeted me with a bottle of red wine, home made c
Rob got back from Kodiak two days before I had to leave on a business trip. We had so much to talk about in that short time, and we both hated that I had to go. I can't believe how much his walking improved in six weeks. He looked so much stronger, and was putting a lot more weight on his right leg. His gait was faster when he walked. I could tell he has picked up what might be considered "survival" habits in his walking. I can't imagine what it must be like to have to tell yourself stuff
Rob called tonight on his sat phone - he is still in the field - trying to assist with what he can. He has lots of help. His being in camp may be a bittersweet feeling - the obvious of what he can't do stares him in the face daily and the things he wants to do so badly, he has an opportunity to try.
He wanted to tell me that he carried a pack today for a few hundred yards that weighed probably over 120 pounds. I asked him how it felt, and he said "just like getting out of my wheelchair".
Yesterday I was looking at our 18 year old couch - that I no longer like, and was considering getting rid of it. I was thinking that it was past retirement time - but the thought of how to get rid of it was too much, so that is where it ended.
I called home from work today and when my son answered the phone he informed me he was outside cleaning the couch cushions because the dog had puked on them. What a score. I told him that if he could haul the couch out the door without scratching t
I need a break from my self-centered stroke-related world.... and wanted to think about something different. Here in Alaska we're quite a bit behind most of the lower-48 states in weather, still battling snow in my yard but.... I'm now just starting to think about plants and flowers - and am thinking about my five top favorite plants that will be soon growing in my yard, and they are:
Rhubarb (beautiful and edible)
Dalphiniums
Columbine
Wild Iris'
Jacobs Ladder
Daisys (all kinds
I don't know what the problem is, (possibly operator error), but I've lost three postings in the last few days before they are finished. They haven't been in any particular area (forums and blogs). I may just have to resort to using word and cutting and pasting. I've seen others complain about this, and it wasn't until just recently that I've had the experience.
Hmmmmmm....
I'm pushing hard through some emotional issues currently - and what is the hardest is I'm not sure how much I have to do this alone, or with Rob. We've always worked through our issues together, however I'm not sure about his capacity any more. It seems he thinks he is no different than before his stroke, other than the obvious physical ones. He has very lightly hinted that any concerns I have are a matter of convenience for my own behavior. Whew, not sure what to do with that one!
I'm struggling with the decision on whether to stay at my job or not. The con associated with my job that is causing me to want to leave is the supervision responsibility. I only have three staff members that work in my department but I am totally through with being a supervisor. I am done being a professional "caregiver". I no longer want to assist with their professional development, and I have always hated to train. I'm done being responsible for anybody else's work besides mine. I'm do
It's April 21st and we're still getting snow on and off. It doesn't stick, but it is amazing to still see it flying around. No early spring this year. The pilots that use the strip outside our house appreciate that - as it means they can run their planes on skis longer, accessing the wilderness areas that are still covered in snow. Rob isn't flying since his stroke, and I've noticed my infatuation with the airplanes on the little strip our house sits on has dimmed... Haven't thought too mu
My husband is a walking reminder of grief for my old life! As we move through this process, trying to resolve things, we often says "I want the stroke to go away". On my way to getting there - I'm finding this to be one of the hardest situations in my life ever. I've lost a sibling, lost my mom to a terminal illness four years ago, recently lost my dad to a sudden accident..... and the grief associated with my husbands stroke is no comparison to any previous grief I have embraced. It's not e
Our trip to Mexico was fantastic - and of course over too soon for me! Traveling with extended family is always a challenge, we pulled it off, and had a great time. Rob's rehabilitation efforts went better than I expected. He walked on the beach a mile or more every day. Every couple days I would accompany him and we would work on specific aspects of his walking. We'd walk on our tip toes, walk with our knees bent, climb sand hills, walk in the water for resistance, and he even ran. By the
Rob stopped to get some papers from my sister last night - and she sent me a present home with him. She stuck a pair of shoes in a bag that were a tiny bit too small for her, that she had gotten at Lands End, that she just didn't feel like returning. She addressed the note to "Princess Little Feet" since my feet are just a tad smaller than her. What a score!
Okay now Sandy - this comment is for you. Hold on lady. We live in a very small home, and my shoes were irritating my husband...
My Day: I spent better than half the day going through medical bills and insurance EOB's. I'm trying to figure out how much we owe the hospital for Rob's stay last summer after his stroke. Part of his stay was uninsured, part was covered by insurance (that is another story for another day). I've been waiting for two weeks for the hospital to give me the final "total" so we can get this cleared up. That project, easily faded into spending the next couple hours paying bills, balancing checkbo
I finally found not one, but TWO two-piece bathing suits that fit. Being from Alaska we don't spend a lot of time in a bathing suit except for the occasional summer swim and the even less frequent warm weather holiday. So the bathing suit search over the past several months has been extensive and exhausting. All shopping has been achieved through mail order - as the closest store that might have a couple suits is over a hundred miles away. I would likely find upon making the 100 mile trek, a
We lost a dear friend today. We all have those second mom's in our lives, the moms of our best friends who we build strong relationships with. Rob lost his second mom today. She has been suffering from cancer. She was diagnosed less than a year ago, and she lost the battle this morning. She had seven kids, and when ever I saw Rob come in to her presence, there was no doubt he was considered as number eight in her eyes. They adored each other. When Rob had his stroke, she visited him in t
We purchased our tickets for a March 2006 Mexico vacation and paid for accommodations before Rob had his stroke last August. As the pieces were falling together in the hospital, it did cross my mind whether we would be able to make our trip. I had a vision of me trying to push Rob in his wheelchair in the sand and it wasn't a very pretty vision. It is an important trip for me, I'm meeting my three sisters a best friend and all their husbands there. We haven't been all together since my Mom p
We were talking this morning about the question; why me? If you were walking along the street and found a bag full of money, would you ask the question; why me? If you end up with a puppy that grows up into a terrible bird dog, do you ask the question; why me? We all have good fortune and bad fortune - the answer to both is the same. We just don't question the good fortune we have.
Rat poison. That's what Rob told me coumadin was. He hates taking it, you can tell by the scowl on his face and his demeaner when he talks about it. He is on the count down, to seeing the end of this medicine. A week and a half is all he has left and then he is done.
Ending coumadin. It's a positive feeling when I think about it. It means that we are at the end of the treatment in an effort to prevent Rob from having another stroke, from his PFO. More healing. More progress.
All's well! Rob had his closure on Tuesday afternoon, and they kept him in the hospital overnight. He called me at 8:30 Wednesday morning and said he was ready to leave. He is doing great. We are thrilled there will now be an end to his taking the rat poison.
Last night we went to the professional hunters association banquet. A lot of his colleagues were there as it's an annual fundraiser and celebration towards the efforts of their professional work. This is the first time many of th
About 15 years ago, or more, I remember Rob bought me kitchen knives for Christmas. I was furious. How could he be so insensitive to give me kitchen tools for Christmas? And of course he has never since repeated that mistake.....
Today I was Christmas shopping and it just so happened, I was looking at one-handed kitchen items for him. I bought a chopper and a new can opener that I thought he could use one-handed. I was smiling the whole way home, with the thought of wrapping these up a
In regards to Larry's post about "normal" activity:
My husband is three months post stroke and I struggle a little less each day with the pre-stroke/post-stroke thoughts. Each of us, survivors and care givers get through our stroke (some multiple strokes) at our own pace. It has taken me some time to understand how complicated the brain is and thus how strokes individually affects each person. What may be a frustration to a survivor such as having to stay home and not be able to work -
