I was screened (twice - one on the phone and one via web cam) for the USC Intensive Mobility Training (IMT) program and qualified! Woo hoo!! :laughbounce:
Admittedly, it is bittersweet - awesome that I was accepted, a bit of a bummer that I am not as far along as I thought.
I am very excited and nervous - I am going April 15 through May 1. Three hrs per day for 2 weeks with baseline testing and end of trial testing to measure improvement. Half of the stroke survivors will be in the 'c
Although the title makes it sound as though I have all sorts of badassery, I don't.
The IT guy came to my office to update my office-mate's computer. While waiting for my office-mate to leave, IT guy (forgot his name) and I chatted. He started telling me about recent surgeries he has had on his spine and showed me the scars on his neck from the surgery. He has been having difficulty with numbness, pain, and temperature regulation issues. I started to relate some of my experiences/feelings w
That's right - three year anniversary today.
I'm alive!
I'm relatively healthy!
Celebration!
So, it's been a long time since I last posted - here is the latest scoop:
Bob & I are moved in to our 3rd floor walk-up apartment (not entirely unpacked, of course, but moved in nonetheless!). Bob was gone for nearly a month - 1 week in Orlando for work-related stuff, 1 week in Nigeria as an invited speaker at a conference, and a little over another week in Orlando to pack &a
BS (before stroke), I knew how to just casually chat with people - I had an idea of what questions to ask and was very interested in other people's lives. In my (very biased and self-centered) opinion, I have misplaced this ability. I feel as though the stroke really forced me to study and analyze everything I could or could not do. This forced self-centeredness lasted for as long as other people seemed to be more interested in me than I was in them. At first, it was very confusing. I am not a f
Negotiations with NASA have been rough going and clumsy but I finally received their final offer letter today and I will be moving to Hampton, Virginia to start working on 29Sept.
I am excited and a little anxious. I know that I will be conducting research in aeronautics but the specific project hasn't been revealed just yet. It sounds as though the PI (primary investigator/boss) will be in California - Ames. This should be interesting.
I truly hope that this will be smoother than my l
Light:
Bob & I spent 4 days on the island of Provodenciales, Turks and Caicos. He has business there and I got to go since I am all unemployed.
We rented a car - a Daihatsu Charade. It definitely was a charade of a car - it looked like a car imitation at best. When closing the doors, it sounds like you are closing the lid of a tin can. Driving there is interesting, it is the only thing which escapes "island time" (the "relaxed" view of time as unimportant). There are tons of rounda
A week and a half ago, NASA called to offer me a job. The pay is significantly less that I expected so I am in the middle of negotiating pay and trying to get the relocation package details.
Bob is having some difficulty with all of this - he wants me to be happy (I hope) but he has put so much blood, sweat, tears, and money into the company that he runs here in Orlando. He also really doesn't want to travel as much as when I lived in Bloomington, IL (he flew to see me nearly every weekend)
I received a call last Thursday asking if I could fly to Hampton, VA for a site interview with NASA. Sure, why not? Here is the recounting of the visit:
Flights were no problem (whew!).
I went to the car rental desk and said that a reservation is in my name, but paid already. The desk clerk wanted to charge it to my credit card. I said I didn't think that was right as it was booked and paid for by the company with which I am interviewing. A gentleman overheard the situation and offered
Bob & I went to SD for a week for our anniversary as well as for a wedding. We stayed at a wonderful Bed & Breakfast in Hot Springs (Southern Black Hills) called A Dakota Dream (www.adakotadream.com) which is about an hour outside of Rapid City. Rapid City is the second largest city in SD but is what I now consider a small city (70,000 people I believe).
We flew into Sioux Falls (the largest city at about 100,000 people) and stayed with Bob's brother and sister in law. They have a 1
I just finished reading My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor. She is a neuroanatomist who is a spokesperson for the 'Brain Bank' at Harvard University (www.drjilltaylor.com).
There are a couple of things that I liked about this book - 1) she really slowed down and seemed to record everything as the stroke occurred to her. While I have a good memory of what happened during my stroke, hers has detail that is interesting to read about. 2) She provides detail that, while scientific in natu
I'm back in Orlando & living with Bob again. I left Bloomington, IL on Wed, June 11 at 6:30 pm and drove straight through for 16 hours, arriving home at 10:30 am on Thurs, June 12th. As you can guess, I drove into the garage, walked into the bedroom and fell onto the bed. I'm certain that I was asleep before my body hit the bed. It was, thankfully, an uneventful drive. I started to feel the sleep deprivation effects around 3:00 am but stopped for gas and sugar and held out. Around 8:30 or 9:
Sometimes, the truth hurts. Especially when it is the Bare. Naked. Truth. I've been in, and seen people in, denial about the truth - willing to argue that it isn't the truth. I know that each person's perception is their reality and when someone else points out what seems to be a truth to them, it creates a dent in someone else's reality.
Here is the nitty gritty: The most difficult Bare. Naked. Truth. I had to deal with came a few short weeks after the stroke. No one, absolutely no one can
Bob woke up at 5:30 am feeling nauseous on Sunday morning. He didn't want breakfast. We went to eat for lunch and he wasn't feeling much better. Then he said his left hand was feeling tingly. I drove him to the hospital and he felt like he was going to pass out. They took him back into the ER area and took his blood pressure and temp. His blood pressure was a little low (84/65) and his temp high (100-101) so they started him on antibiotics and fluids. He went through waves of nausea and when he
Oh that pendulum - always swinging to extremes!
Whether the country is liberal or conservative, as a whole, seems to depend on the swing of the pendulum. Personally, I think the pendulum has been too far conservative and will swing back liberal (at least, I hope so!). I am not a blind liberal who buys into the idea lock, stock, and barrel. I simply hold many beliefs that match better in the liberal sense and are far too contrary to the conservative side.
In other pendulum news - when I w
A very good friend of mine read my last blog entry and sent me a wonderful email. In it, she said that she understands the 'unforgiveness' of it all and detailed a social psychology principle to aid in the forgiveness process.
Hindsight bias is the prejudice we all have when we look at something that happened when we already know the outcome. Since I already had a stroke, it seems very obvious to me now that based on all the symptoms I had (blindness while running with it going away when I
The *wonderful* Pilates instructor that I found here in town has had a family crisis (her mother has lukemia & the chemo has shut down some organ function) and she can no longer work with me. I will truly miss her. She learned how to work with me (no small task there) and really challenged me. The improvement I saw was small but it was improvement!!
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Bob flew in on Saturday and stayed until Tuesday morning. Although I took Monday off of work, the weathe
I have been in Central Illinois for 3.5 months. By myself. Doing work that I hadn't planned doing with my degree. By myself. Living in an apartment above a woman who is hard of hearing and loves to watch Law & Order (guess how I know that...). By myself.
Did I mention that I feel a bit lonely? Bob & I have lived separately before - 5 years of our marriage to be exact - I don't know why it is so difficult this time.
Actually, I'm positive that I had difficulties with it the firs
Hello again from the land of frozen tundra, a.k.a. Central Illinois!
I have been here for 2 months now and have experienced an ice storm (not so much fun, especially on these seemingly new legs of mine), a snow storm (brrr!!), a thunderstorm (in the winter?!!), 65 degrees (short lived but enjoyed immensely), 17 degrees below zero (yuck. what else is there to say than that?), and tornadoes (again...in the winter?!!). Everyone here keeps saying that the weather isn't "normal". I've heard that
I have been having difficulty falling asleep for quite some time now. It takes about 2 hours from when my head hits the pillow to slumber.
Last night, I was wondering why I have this problem (for the umpteenth time) and I named it my "ice cream diaries" while in that delusional state of trying to sleep but not fully awake. That state of being aware that you aren't asleep but not awake is so odd, confusing, and frustrating. My only defense for the name is that state. No other excuses (I stay
I have just returned to Orlando from a house hunting trip in my new town. It really is such a cute, quaint, welcoming town. I grew up in a small town without much anonymity. I moved to moderate towns in PA (Harrisburg & Wilkes-Barre/Scranton) and NY (Binghamton) as well as large towns (San Jose, CA & Orlando, FL) and learned to enjoy the anonymity that is provided there. Now I need to learn how to act in a small town again (making sure to look around to see if I recognize anyone, driving
Today is my two year recognition of my stroke.
Life is so much better at 2 years out than 1 year.
I am coming around to acceptance. I don't know if I will ever totally get there but I am coming around.
This whole experience has really been a trial in so many areas of my life. Work-wise, it has really made me question myself and lose confidence in my intelligence and abilities. Of course this has positives (made me work harder to get my Ph.D.)and negatives (losing confidence has ha
Monday, August 13th, was my 21 month stroke-aversary. I didn't even notice it until I was in bed and almost asleep. This was really liberating for me.
~quick hijack...is this icon doing what I think it is doing? :i_did_it!: oh my oh goodness - at least it is beeped out I guess~
Anyway. I am continuing to improve mentally and emotionally. I am tenderly stepping up to the realization that having a stroke at the time in my life when I was the most fit was good, not bad - it helped me to r
Everyone has an internal compass - probably many internal compasses (that is the correct plural term right, not compi?!) for morals, attitude, integrity, and the like.
The stroke spun my compasses (that just looks better than compi) out of control. Not that I have done anything wrong (a.k.a. interesting), I just was 'off'. After the stroke, my attitude compass was pointing straight West - I was, for lack of a better term, pretty much stoned for quite a few months (I suppose this makes sense
I don't know if this is normal or even rational (maybe psychosomatic?) but I feel as though I am noticing/having more cognitive-related issues that I remember having before. Attention, memory, and confidence issues. Maybe it is because my attention and memory or just general metacognition are improving that I notice problems or gaps, could that be possible?
Maybe it is that I am becoming more aware of my surroundings and my impact on others that this is coming to light. Maybe I am just gett
Something abnormal has been happening lately - I have started to have nightmares. I haven't had nightmares in years. I mean the kind that make your heart and breathing quicken and you awaken with a sense of dread in the middle of the night.
Could this be good or bad? It might be that my brain is using less time to heal throughout the night and now it can get back to 'regularly scheduled programming' (dreaming). I sure wish it would choose better dreams.
Last night alone I woke up twice
