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About this blog

MY STORY

Entries in this blog

I've been away from this site since September...

I just want to say hello to all my friends at StrokeNet.. I'm finally divorced, it was over last week. Dirty rat, got away with everything, there is no justice. He was working under the table and we couldn't prove his income, therefore I got nothing.. The only thing I was left with is a big pile of bills, medical bills, utility bilss, everything.. Now I have to file for Bankruptcy, but will survive this also, because I'm still a survivor.. He just doesn't know it!! My life is so much better n

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My best friend...

On Moday I had to have my dog "Lily" put to sleep. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do in my life. But, it was the humane thing to do. She was suffering, not eating, and losing weight (a nasal tumor, plus arthritis and bad hips). She was in my life for 12 years, my best friend. She was an Australian Shepherd, a white furry bundle of love. Everything I do reminds me of her.   Dogs are such loving and caring companions. She knew it was her time. I'm convinced that she knew, because

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I SEE LIGHT IN DARKNESS

Today marks 5 weeks since my marriage fell apart, and its not so bad. I'm finding out how many friends I have. Its funny how something seems like a tradegdy, but its probably the best thing that happened to you..   I feel like I can soar like an eagle... I do have a wonderful life without him, and life is so precious.. Whatever comes my way, I can handle.. This has been the biggest hurdle of my life, but I JUMPED THAT HURDLE...   I AM A SURVIVOR..........

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The plot thickens...

:Clap-Hands: Hey everbody.. You all know I'm going thru divorce and have cried a river of tears. Well, not anymore. I'll tell you why...   Last night my neighbor, whom I've never met was outside talking to my Mom. I was wondering what they had to talk about... Mom said he wanted to talk to me, had been trying for about 1 month. He came inside and I had the shock of my life. My husband Terry was having an affair with his wife Michelle. I was stunned!! I cried buckets of tears for him FOR OVER

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I HIT THE 1 MONTH MARK..

Well, its been one month since he left me. I am becoming more independent every day. Things that I thought I couldn't do, I CAN... Its so empowering. I have so many friends, he said "I'd have none". Boy, was he wrong... When a person has beat you down mentally for so long you don't see the other side of the mountain. But its there...   Its nice to have peace and quiet. Just me and my dog. My house is cleaner. He was a trash man, very messy. Looking back I wonder how I lived like that. It wa

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Can't sleep...

Got online to whine and vent, normally where I go... This divorce is tough. Why does it have to come with so many highs and lows? During the day I'm fine, and as night comes, it gets pretty painful.   My dog Lily doesn't know how to hug. Sometimes a teddy bear works, but rarely can it take the place of a warm, loving, husband. The anti-anxiety pills work sometimes, but not tonight...   How do you jump this big hurdle without him? So many memories and he acts like they never happened. I c

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Another day and I feel stronger...

I will beat this thing called "divorce" and be stronger for it... Here I am 45 and soon to be single again. That's scary!! So many terrible diseases out there, afraid to trust anyone. I'm giving myself at least one year alone, absolutely no male relationships but friends. I need this time to heal and find a way to make sense of this.   I'll always be a person that loves marriage. This is #3 for me... I thought the 3rd time would be a charm.... Guess I'm that kind of person, loving, caring, wa

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Thanks for everyones support and love...

I want to thank everyone who wrote regarding my last blog. It means alot... Divorce is cruel, but as alot said it may be a blessing in disguise. And yes, he is a "rat" for leaving a disabled wife. I think its a sin also...   I thought I'd grow old with him and we would be at each others side when our time came. The heart is going to take a long time to heal, but someday I'll be able to look him in the eyes without crying. I never knew what pain was until this... Its different when your heart

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Feel hopeless...

Has anyone else divorced recently over their stroke? He was my caretaker and best friend. Mine just fell apart. I think he wanted a normal woman........... Its only been a few weeks but it feels like longer. The bed is empty where he used to lay.. Anyone have any tips????   I would appreciate it... My Mom took the caretaker place...... He didn't have to help with much. I don't understand how a person could be so cruel. I thought it would last forever.... He promised me. Where's the "in sickn

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Arm hangs down all the time...

:Tantrum: What do you do with an arm that hangs down all the time? I can't use that arm... My Mom says wear a sling.. I'd look real cute then. I'd really look like Frankenstein.. Damn this stroke...

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Crying alot today...

My hubby came and took the rest of his stuff today. This is the hardest thing I've gone through emotionally. I don't want to divorce, but he does. I know why he left, HE COULDN'T DEAL WITH MY HANDICAP ANYMORE! When he left I saw the same handsome man that I married. Why does this have to happen? I'll never know...

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IT'S SCARY HAVING A SEIZURE...

Last Friday evening I had a full-blown seizure, and it sure was scary. The seizure lasted about 5 minutes. I don't remember it happening. When I came to the ambulance was there.   I'm on medicine for seizures (Dilantin). I was transported via ambulance wondering what was going on. The doctors said my Dilantin level was too low (only 3.4), and it should have been 30% in my system.   I was taking the medicine as directed, therefore I got really scared. For some reason my body was metaboliz

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THERES NOTHING LIKE A PARENTS LOVE...

:hug: THE PAST WEEK HAS BEEN A ROUGH PATCH FOR MY HUSBAND AND ME. FUNNY WAY OF DEATH DOING THAT TO YOU. IT MAKES A PERSON REFLECT ON EVERYONE IN THEIR LIFE. MY HUBBY LOST HIS DAD LAST SATURDAY, HE WAS ONLY 52. TRYING TO BE THERE FOR HIM IN EVERY WAY I CAN. I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT HE'S GOING THROUGH, SINCE BOTH OF MY PARENTS ARE LIVING.   ITS REALLY GIVEN ME TIME FOR REFLECTION ABOUT MY PARENTS. WE BOTH EXPERIENCED DISTANT FATHERS FOR MANY YEARS. BOTH OF OUR PARENTS DIVORCED WHEN WE WERE VERY YOU

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I DID IT!!!

:big_grin: I DID SOMETHING MAJOR YESTERDAY..... ANOTHER HURDLE THAT I'VE JUMPED. KEEP ON BELIEVING IN MIRACLES. IT SEEMS LIKE A SMALL THING, BUT ITS HUGE TO ME. I USUALLY HAVE HUBBY HELP WITH DRESSING ME. BUT THE OTHER DAY HE SLEPT IN, AND I GOT TIRED OF WAITING AND PUT MY JEANS ON MYSELF. I WAS AMAZED.... IT TOOK ME LONGER, BUT IT WAS SO WORTH IT. WHEN HE WOKE UP HE WAS AMAZED THAT I WAS DRESSED. I HAVE ALOT OF DETERMINATION.... ITS AMAZING WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH ONE HAND..... EACH

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DOES IT EVER GET EASIER?

DOES IT EVER GET EASIER IN A MARRIAGE? I AM ALMOST 1 YEAR POST STROKE. THERE ARE SOME DAYS THAT I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN GO ON LIKE THIS.   MY HUSBAND SAID THIS MORNING HE'S TIRED OF DOING EVERYTHING FOR ME. TRUST ME, HE DOESN'T DO EVERYTHING. I AM SELF-SUFFICIENT UNTIL HE GETS HOME FROM WORK TO COOK DINNER. WE EAT TAKE-OUT ALOT BECAUSE HE NEVER LIKED TO COOK. MOST DAYS I HAVE TO MAKE MY OWN BREAKFAST AND LUNCH. ITS NOT EASY, BUT I PUSH MYSELF.   THIS MORNING WAS A TERRIBLE MORNING. HE MAKE

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THANK GOD FOR CARING HUSBANDS!!

WHEN I HAD MY STROKE ALMOST A YEAR AGO, I HAD SO MANY FEARS. NOW I REALIZE THAT I HAD NOTHING TO FEAR....   EVEN THOUGH OUR LIVES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AS BEFORE MY STROKE, OUR LOVE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE. I THOUGHT HE WOULD THINK I WAS DAMAGED GOODS AND WANT TO LEAVE ME. I FELT HOPELESS, LIKE I COULD DO NOTHING. BUT, HE HAS KEPT ME CLOSE.   I HAVE PLENTY OF REASONS TO BE AFRAID OF OTHER WOMEN TAKING MY HUBBY. THERE IS A BIG AGE DIFFERENCE. HE IS MUCH YOUNGER. IT NEVER MATTERED BEFORE, B

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THANKS FOR SUCH NICE COMMENTS...

:Clap-Hands: I AM REALLY ENJOYING BEING A MEMBER OF STOKENET... EVERYBODY HAS BEEN SO NICE. I LOOK FORWARD TO GETTING TO KNOW YOU.   I LIVE IN OHIO AND HAVE A WONDERFUL HUSBAND. WE'RE PLANNING A TRIP TO CALIFORNIA IN JUNE FOR MY SISTERS WEDDING. I CAN WALK WITH A CANE, BUT HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE MY WHEELCHAIR SO I CAN ENJOY ALL THE SIGHTS. WE ARE SO EXCITED... COME ON SUNSHINE!!!   I HAVE ALOT OF GOOD DAYS, ALONG WITH SOME BAD. I MISS DRIVING MY CAR. BUT MY WISH IS TO DRIVE AGAIN SOMEDA

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MY STORY

:Clap-Hands: I AM ABOUT TO REACH MY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF MY STROKE. IT FEELS STRANGE TO BE LIKE THIS. I'M A TOTALLY DIFFERENT WOMAN AND WIFE. I LOST THE USE OF MY RIGHT ARM, BUT AM WALKING NOW. I FEEL VERY LUCKY TO BE HERE. I HAD 3 MASSIVE ANEURYSMS ON MAY 16TH, 2005... I HAD A JOB CLEANING HOMES FOR THE ELDERLY AND LOVED MY JOB. I WORKED FOR MYSELF, MADE MY OWN HOURS.. I ONLY WORKED THAT DAY FOR 3 HOURS AND WAS FINISHED FOR THE DAY. I CAME IN THE DOOR AND FELT STRANGE AND WONDERED WHAT WAS WRO

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