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About this blog

my daaily struggles

Entries in this blog

whew, what a year!

well here it is november already and i have met my grandaughter, riley. she is adorable. and sarah is pregnant. so there have been a lot of changes this past year. i kept seeing the psychiatrist and got my meds dosage raised and it seems to be under control finally. and my energy level is much improved. i actually complete several books this summer. my level of difficulty is much lower nowadays but at least i am reading. i would have sneered at some of these authors back in the day but

Tascha

Tascha

its happened again!

i must be the luckiest person alive. on wednesday, sarah called to tell me about her gyn. appointment. she is pregnant! due in early jan. all she has ever wanted since she was 2 yrs old was to be a mommy and have her own baby. and it is finally happening~ riley will have a cousin just 10 months younger than she. and martha and mikael's baby will be only a few monthe older. so now i have a lot to do to get ready for this new little one. first off, there must be a shower. think i'll hav

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Tascha

it's finally happened!

well the day i have been praying for has finally arrived. i am a grandmother! riley catherine campbell arrived 5 weeks early on feb. 25 2009. she is still in the hospital on a feeding tube but she is breathing on her own at last. she is a strong nurser. rachel is hoping to bring her home next weekend. first she has to be able to sit in her car seat for an hour while breathing on her own. seems odd to me but whatever precautions they feel they need to take its alright with me. just so she

Tascha

Tascha

on n on it goes

rachel called last night. she is in the hospital. she was having a lot of back pain and contractions. they docs think she has a uti. she sounded a little scared on the phone. this little baby is a bugger. she want to come early and we're not ready for her. not yet. she's only 35 weeks along so it is too early. they will do an ultrasound of her kidneys today sometime and then we'll have more information. \in the meantime, i 'm still working out what's the matter with me. i just can't se

Tascha

Tascha

i can already tell a difference

it's only been a week but i can already tell a difference being on the prozac. i don't know why i let it go so long. when i wake up i look forward to having things to do. and i've been busy with the shower plans. i've been baking food and freezing it. and going to curves M W F weekly. it makes a difference in my energy levell. i can stay busy all morning and part of the afternoon before i need a nap and then it's only a half hour or so. and with the tylenol pm i sleep well all night long

Tascha

Tascha

2009 will be a good year

today i saw the psychiatrist and this week, i also saw the psychologist. so i got a prescription for prozac today and will start tomorrow. he doesn't want to see me for a month. i think i finally have a handle on this thing. and i have lots to do to get ready for the baby shower so that is good and will take me right through march and the baby. then spring will be here and time to plant the flowers. so life is going to go on in spite of me and my issues. thanks to all of you who sent me m

Tascha

Tascha

Happy new year

well, happy new year to everyone. finally it is the new year and the holidays are behind us. i found christmas extremely difficult this year. i dont' knowwhy but i think it had to do with becoming a grandmother. it is finally hitting me in the head that i am no longer young. my children are grown and gone and it is just david and me. oh and his mother of course. my parents are gone and i am the grown up for sure. i don't like the feeling. but anyway, i called my psychiatrist and made an

Tascha

Tascha

one step forward three steps backward

well here it is past midnight and i had so many thoughts whirling around in my brain i couldn't sleep. i finally called the psychiatrist and made an appointment to see him and start the drugs again. naturally as soon as i take a step, the depression receeds. kind of makes me wonder if i should bother. but i think i've learned my lesson this time. i cannot fight it back on my own. it is not situational, it is chemical. i am not weak, i am strong because i survived a stroke and continue to

Tascha

Tascha

i founf y'a;;

well i finally found y'all. for christmas, i got a new laptop computer so i've had a bugger of a time trying to get all of my bookmarks e-mails, etc organized. with a lot of help from donna and bessy here, i'm finally back on line. thanks so much donna and bessey.   well december was a terrible busy month but i like busy. i did all of my shopping online and was more organized than i've ever been before. but that's not always a good thing. being organized leave time for reflection. and

Tascha

Tascha

here we go again

Well, here we go again. i just re-read all of the old entries and i wonder what happened to all of that enthusiasm from a year ago? for the past few months, i've been feeling so depressed again and i am tired of it. I thought i had it licked finally. i've given this a lot of thought and i think it's the whole weight thing. DAvid doesn't like "fat people" so he' not too pleased with me. That doesn't make me feel too good about myself. Food is such a source of comfort to me and always has

Tascha

Tascha

i'm still hereee!!

i haven't posted in over a year. I just can't seem to remember that i have a blog going on on this site. for that matter, i haven't chatted in a long time either. hopefully this week i will remember to come to a chat. this summer has been a long one for me. my daughter got married on july 4 and it was a beautiful weddng. 2 down and 1 to go! now we are praying for grandchildren. sarah is trying finally. this summer i ahve actually read 4 books so far. this is a big deal. i've also giv

Tascha

Tascha

Life is good

Valentine's Day and life is good. Today I went to the nursery school to help with the Valentine's Party. There is such a difference from the first time I reentered a classroom after the stroke. My voice is stronger and I am more comfortable and confident. I still notice things which are missing but it's improving all the time. tonight at bell choir practice I noticed that my playing and counting was sharper and more "on". As long as I get a nap before I go I'm okay. Today, Rachel bought a

Tascha

Tascha

yet more progress

today is Tuesday and it has been cloudy and dreary. We had a bit of drizzle during our bible study. I've been wanting to make some notes lately as I've noticed some changes again. Ever since last Novmber, I've been slowly tapering off the anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. I've probably cut back by at least 60% and am beginning to notice a change in my personality. I think I am becoming more like my old self finally. I'm much quicker with a smart remark or a joke and more sure of myse

Tascha

Tascha

small success really add up!

:Clap-Hands: It is October 24 and we are having another rainy day. boy do we need it! Worst drought in reccorded history. meanwhile out in california, fires are raging in orange county.   my big news is that last saturday, Ocxtober 13, I noticed a huge bit of progress. without leaning on a wall or sitting down, I managed to lift my affected leg up in the air and pull on my underwear! I didn't fall over. That is huge for me, that same week, I read for an hour one evening without sto

Tascha

Tascha

another long day!

Today is August 7, 2007, JOnathan (son) called to tell us he is home from guatemala , safe and sound. He'll be home tomorrow for dinner and he wants stuffed peppers in this heat? Crazy, I must love him a lot to be willing to do that for him. Can't wait to see him, I'll bet he's either tanned or sunburnt. Today was a long day. I was all out of w medications (wellbutrin and ativan) so my morning nap didn't occur. consequently, it was a long day with not much to do. I took mom to the haird

Tascha

Tascha

day after the big party!

:Clap-Hands: Well, today is the day after the biggest dinner party since my stroke. It went well and the food was good, especially the appetizers. Everyone had a good time and I slept well today. didn't get up all day, except for meals. Felt good to be so indolent after a week of frantic activity. Then I got an e-mail from Dr. Kasner about the baby's arrival. the weather finally broke and there was a lovely breeze today. Now it has turned humid again and we are waiting for a thunderstorm.

Tascha

Tascha

still on my tiptoes

Well, I haven't posted her in a while because I couldn't figure out how to use this confusing site. Got it straightened out now and actually chatted with a few nw friends last night. tonight, I had my first dinner party since the stroke 3 years ago. I planned for a week and cooked for three days prior, today, I slept in late and then set the table and then took another nap for 3 hours. it went well, my neurologist's secretary, thhead stroke nurse at Penn and a menber of the neurology depart

Tascha

Tascha