"It's a terrible thing to live in fear." That is a line from one of our favorite movies, but it has sure come to hit home since Stroke Day.
In the early years, it was all the time, of course. I just tried to work through it, breathe, cry when I had to. But as things evened out and days became simplier, routines helped; I get pulled in, forget, drop the ball.
We have had many upsets for about six weeks. Almost like someone is punishing me for quitting smoking - LOL. And yes, I know I am m
It was a wonderful first anniversary weekend.
Mary Beth, niece Melissa and her friend Scotlynn came for the weekend. Friday night was almost like a year ago. So great fun.
Saturday we all went to lunch to celebrate niece Brittany's birthday with both brothers. It was the family favorite restaurant that sits right on the Housatonic River. Off to brother John's for a drink while the young'uns took a walk on the beach. Back up to our house for a light dinner and the top of the wedding cake.
So, as usual, things going along nicely, one let's one's guard down, and WHAM, right up side the head! And it is not like I have no advice in this regard. I have wonderful Mentors who have been caregiving a lot longer than I have.
I had to extend my Chantix for the not smoking another 4 weeks. I do not consider this a failure. The prescription runs 12 weeks for a reason. But the drug also has its own side effects. I did have to tweak my dosing and was so hoping that the first 4 weeks would g
Well, its been busy. I am determined to have wonderful holidays this year. I had to cut so much back last year with the wedding. Also as people pull away and we see them less and for smaller amounts of time, it is obvious that Bruce and I have to establish some traditions that are special to us.
I have never been a baker. Yes, I am a great cook, but Bruce says I don't bake well because "you won't follow the rules" - LOL. In other words, I try to bust Chemistry. I have been known to substitut
So we finished up the few cartons of books and did the last run to the book drop Friday past. While I was unloading, the pick up driver arrived. Nice guy and he helped me. But he did say "Oh, you are the ones!" LOL. I assured him that we were done.
Bruce calls me over to his window, holds up his left hand and says to me "please check the boxes for my wedding ring!" Great! But St. Anthony was with us and there it was in the second box. We drove directly to the Jeweler. Got it back this week a
Last two attic boxes coming down tomorrow. These are smaller, but they were also the furthest buried. My bet is probably Bruce's grammar school boxes - LOL.
We are finding some really neat stuff. There was a collection of antique pad locks - with keys. And a really pretty - small antique mirror - intact. Very heavy - border surrounding it is cut glass. Very retro. That heavy box I told you about was a clamp of some sort - in its original box. Like to hold wood you might be cutting and a set
LOL: I have created a monster!
The sorting and clean out continue, around a very busy schedule. We are both exhausted and this is just normal stuff - appointments, groceries, errands. But I think like a lot of us here, this is just such a beautiful time of year - especially here in the Northeast. And the weather has been perfect. It is important that we try to get out every afternoon, regardless of what we are doing, because this will come to an end soon enough.
But there are still those
Pre-stroke, Bruce and I did some major renovations on our home. It was a one bedroom, one closet, Cape sitting on a beautiful acre of land. And to top it off, one row of foundation concrete block was left off - probably quick post-war construction, so we could not take the roof off, as many of our neighbors did, and go up. We went off the side with four bedrooms, another bath, closets - making the house into a split.
In 2008, we resided everything, added a new front landing. But the reason I
We had such a fun day today.
What a week and next week to be the same. It finally dawned on me - DUH - that so many of these appointments I scheduled around a caregiver here. Furnace cleaning, the windshields could have been done with a caregiver here. For some of the lesser appointments - just check ups - they often took Bruce. Now everything has to be scheduled when I am home, in the afternoons - when Bruce's schedule is the most rigid! But again, a learning process and I certainly will be
OMG; Julie, if I do this again, please hit me one time upside the head, I will get it, promise! LOL.
Bruce's next Botox is Monday. He has been working so hard on the exercises PT gave him. His follow up Botox eval was not good and we were so hoping that Monday, Physiatrist would be pleased with the improvement from the exercises.
Next Wednesday is blood work for the Diabetes management. All of this was scheduled three months ago, so not like I didn't know.
But NO, Debbie has to push
I started a post about Projects for Bruce for the upcoming winter season. He is doing great staying alone and we are considering extending the time a bit end of October. But unless someone calls during the morning, Bruce reports that after he finishes his chores, he watches TV. For all of you who may not know - I do a welfare check about an hour after I leave the house and Bruce has his chores done when I get back. Which means 3 hours of TV.
I have also reached acceptance. There is not much
Well I honestly think Kira got the "Gods of Little Kitties being left alone" on board-LOL. I did not sleep well after the tree limb went down. Wind was still up and I was waiting for the next shoe. Tuesday morning we left around 10 am and we weren't 5 miles from the house when a gravel truck kicked back a rock and starred the windshield - exactly in my line of site, of course. Bruce said it was OK, so we continued. Get to the hotel, confirmation number and credit card are in my name - reservatio
I don't think Bruce and I have every traveled without some sort of issue trying to prevent it.
On a trip to San Diego, thunderstorms prevented any planes coming into our airport. We were bussed to New York. I have a framed picture of Bruce and I on the front page of the local newspaper waiting for the bus. On a trip to New Mexico, raccoon had gotten into the bathroom of the addition and Animal Control, bless them, came in and removed him before we had to leave. On the Ireland trip, Bruce fou
You all know I have stretched out the overnight planning. With Bruce, anticipation is often more fun than the actual event. And that was true even pre-stroke. His thinking always was once it is here, it is over.
There is a small list of what has to be done outside the house: getting cash, his reading material, my alcohol - LOL. He asked me to bring two beers for him. But he needed single servings of his Crystal Lite (spent at least half an hour deciding on the flavor) and that is truly it. H
So we will be off. This will be first, really, overnight away from home since the Stroke. November 2009, we tried to stay overnight at Mary Beth's in NH - the family Thanksgiving tradition. Bruce was walking independently with the long leg brace. Did not have the custom WC. We had a terrific day but did not consider the bathroom - really about the size of a powder room. Bruce got in, couldn't get out. A nightmare and at that point I decided to drive home.
So much has changed since then. This
Grocery shop, this week, was complex.
Out the gate, we had $11.00 off. But it had to be this week. $5.00 off a $40.00 order, $2.00 off meat and 4 dollar coupon doublers (limit 4 to a household).
We were balancing the Car Show and the Grocery shop. With a large shop and then managing the scooter, decided to do the Car Show and then the shop on Monday. Weather changed our plans.
We get the circular on Thursday. Bruce takes the running list and checks it against the circular, circles th
Bruce has a great comp from our Casino for September and I have been messaging back and forth with some about traveling. My fear, of course, is not being on the ground floor. They do have ground floor suites and I am still considering them. I still have trouble believing that in the case of an emergency, someone is coming up ten floors of stairs to help us, regardless of whether we check in as handicap or not.
So, all of you know the changes here at home. Bruce is truly problem-solving at a
Our poor little girl. Today was Kira's eight week check up.
Erma was here to avoid me having to do welfare check for Bruce, going back to work and then having to come back and pick up Kira.
Managing her thyroid condition has been difficult. Bless our Vet who tries to keep the costs down. But even as a Nurse, cutting her pills up into 1/4s can be challenging. I told Julie I was glad her check up was today in that she has been a bit "off". She is sensitive and the changes here in the house
I was daydreaming today, kind of reviewing the last four + years. I know all of us were advised out the gate to stress therapy. And really Insurance Companies want it over and done with. I am wondering if they have stats hidden somewhere about all of this - and since it involves money, I am pretty sure of it.
The thinking is get a stroke victim back on board immediately. And I don't disagree with that, but as we get into this and educate ourselves and share stories, most of us Caregivers, I
Sister Mary Beth is sending both girls off to college next week. She is anticipating the "empty nest." Liz is a Senior and Melissa, a Freshman.
Melissa will be in a pre-flight program at U of Minn. We were laughing in that she thinks New Hampshire is cold. The child has no clue - LOL.
Mary Beth also had her 40th high school reunion on Friday night. But also the priority of Motherhood - they needed my luggage and Melissa needs clothing. Her program is very strict. Business attire - no je
I had to blog this one for me. To have some sort of time-life acknowledgement of what is going on right now.
I haven't had this much anxiety/fear/exhilaration in three years. Yes, the first year post, that was all the time. There were times I had to actually sit and breathe to get through it.
But I am older now, less flexible and do not recover as quickly - LOL.
It was OK when Bruce and I were working towards independence. But the time has arrived and I am not faring well. I am so ha
Was going to wait a bit to blog this, but Colleen's blog made me think about doing it now.
Bruce has been asking since January to be left alone here in the house. And you all know I have made that a priority. In fact, spoke to both his therapists this last PT-OT round. Ingrid worked on independence on and off the bed, all his exercises, save one, he can do independently. I have been working with him for the last six weeks on getting into the routine, so he knows them if I am not here.
Sa
I don't know how this happened. Bruce's two best friends from NM and CA arrived about one week after Bruce's stroke. We talked every night here at the house, after we left Bruce. Both of them thought that Bruce would get right back on board with recovery. Bruce was very confident in himself, had taken care of himself since he was nine. Our home life was 50-50.
Part of this, I know, is the brain damage but mostly I know it is me. Fred has been so positive assuring me that it will come. But I
I have been talking to a dear friend lately just really about what is going on in our lives. This is one of my group from Grammar School who had the brain aneurysm and then a year later the glue used to fix it was recalled! Can you just imagine?
A lot of us caregivers here seem to be in transition. Maybe the season change or just changes in recovery. But the one thing I do know is unless you live this, you really have no clue. Mary Jo gave a wonderful response to a recent blog that so got me
So it has been a week since I cut my working hours to be able to be a bit more supportive of Bruce and his new energy towards recovery. Last Blog he was already hesitating and trying to short cut, so I was a bit concerned that I was going to work less and end up right back where we were 2 1/2 years ago, Bruce doing absolutely nothing towards recovery. Me home. I still needed caregivers in to spell me off and I did do a lot of work in the house and yard.
But what a difference. Morning routine
