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A blog by Guest in General

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what's playing in my head right now.

Entries in this blog

There's Got to be a pony in here somewhere!

This past almost two years brings to my mind the story below about twins--one an optimist the other a pessimist.   There are twin boys of five or six. Mom was worried that the boys had developed extreme personalities -- one was a total pessimist, the other a total optimist -- their parents took them to a psychiatrist.   First the psychiatrist treated the pessimist. Trying to brighten his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with brand-new toys. But instead of yel
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Hard Revelations

In a perfect world I would be well justified to gripe about the unfairness of it all but we know this isn't a perfect world so it would only be and has only been a waste of energy that I have little of to start with. It doesn't seem right that I can't even expect to be granted accommodations that most people take for granted but instead of waiting for fairness, I know it will not change until I change it.   I guess I've known that all along but I let my limitations blind me. I can't change t
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Not a snowball's chance in...

i use to love cook-outs/parties and Kelly said her friend was coming over--just for burgers. No big thing; just very light and casual and I should plan to stop over. So today I got ready and walked out the door to head on over when I saw five cars besides hers and Dave's...Just Kelly's family alone is five people and add five more if each car only had one person in it--which they didn't.   Even just the thought of it overwhelmed me and I turned my butt around and went back inside.   Almost
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Dinner, wine, a ride in the country...

Kelly again...but this time we both had doctor's appointments. Mine went well. Looks like I will be sticking around for a while. Kelly's doc got her attention and let her know that if she doesn't face facts and get rid of some stress, she probably won't. How's that for low stress!   So, I asked her to take me to get a pizza. And I brought it home to her kids and asked Miss Mary Jo to watch the kids a while and then told Kelly to "Let's go" and took her out for dinner.   The good thing a
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Birthday dinner went well

Dave did invite more people but I expected he would so I made too much on purpose--it worked out fine and Miss Mary Jo helped me a little so that was good. We both laughed when she dropped her arms and said "I'm exhausted! All I did was frost this cake!" I said, "Whew, I feel better-- You're as pathetic as I am!" we both giggled but we got done.   Kelly has an itty-bitty dog she loves to pieces and has felt bad because she hasn't felt up to walking her, and you'd think she was asking her ki
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More than ever

I want the old me back. I want to be strong and be able to do what I once could. Kelly has been unwell since November but she assured me it was only from being tired, or would blame this or that but I couldn't buy it. She worries about and takes care of everyone so no way she would have me worry about her. She's been working so much we haven't spent much time together the past couple weeks. Kelly is sick...sicker than she was saying...and getting sicker (that's as close as I can say--I can't
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Lazy Day/Jammin' Jamie

Or as Jammin' as I get to be these days! But it's a beautiful,lazy Sunday. Neighbors are outside with their children and generally puttering around. I'm finding my thrill cleaning my room, doing laundry, making lasagna and I have to fit in my Dr. mandated walk.   Doesn't sound much like a party but since I can now it's a hoot--at least in my mind. Just cleaning my room in the past consisted of grabbing a trash bag, walking to my room, looking around to assess where to start--and lying down
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Heart Surgeon Update

I saw the surgeon today for a follow-up appointment who did my bypass. He was very pleased and said in six months I should feel five years younger. and in a year even better! He said my heart muscle is in remarkably good shape for what it's been through and with the arteries unclogged (bypassed) it should be fine. Still no heavy lifting (like I was going to anyway) but to start light exercise like walking. At first a quarter mile and increase it until I can do two miles a day.   He asked if
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The more things change...

The more they stay the same! I had somehow inadvertently disabled comments to my blog. Sorry 'bout that--there seems to be a loose screw between my computer chair and my monitor.
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Whoa, Nellie!

I was reading posts and blogs today and I don't know how I missed it before but a thought hit me. I guess it's about acceptance...not sure. I have said over and over that my physical deficits never really shook me and that's true but the cognitive and emotional did. I've been fighting and struggling and wrestling with it from day one...and going nuts!   No one here knew me before stroke and never will because that girl is gone and even I don't know the girl who is now because I've been fight
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Back on the "Doctor-go-round"

Or, be careful what you wish for...I've had strange symptoms that kinda matched stroke but not quite. So when I complained the doctors gave me that blank stare (I swear they all take a course on "the stare" in med school) and would change the subject. I kept saying I just wished someone would listen. Finally, this last hospitalization they did, and really...they can stop now! Every day a new specialist came to my room, introduced themselves and gave me a new diagnosis! Over-achievers...sheesh
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Topsy-Turvy...

I was never a big talker about things going on with me, was happy-go-lucky but the more I was joking, the more I was covering up, Then the strokes hit and I went nuts! This past month has thrown a whole new pile of stuff at me and suddenly I have nothing to say...but I feel calm about it all. It all didn't go exactly smoothly but in the end it worked out, at least for now.   For once, I just don't know what to say. But I feel better.
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