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gloves, shoes -POTATOES

Dan was getting up - as i was getting him ready he was indicating ( gesture) he wanted his shoes on.. He said gloves ( pretty good) i said shoes and started to grab them .... he laughed and said potatoes.....he is starting to see the humor of aphasia - not that it is funny we all know it is not. But to see him able to laugh at a funny situation is so nice to see.... are these posts 180 degrees from last year or what ??? last year and the year before was awful - terrible and heart wrenching.... t

nancyl

nancyl

hanging in there

for the moment we are doing OK... I was reflecting how i used to sit with heart in mouth - would dan take his pills today? will he eat today, and most important will he drink ANYTHING today ?? will he have a seizure? will he get out of bed? now although some of these issues linger they are not a daily occurrence . i lived for so long with adrenaline flowing that i feel like a deflated balloon now..... of course since we do have issues now and then i get a healthy reminder, and i am always waitin

nancyl

nancyl

So proud of my man !!

UH-OH... i am asking for trouble . But as i said i write the bad with the good. and this will start off a little bad but will end good... Dan and I spent a night at a casino, no big wins or losses so thats good... (slots) anyhow, we went because Beths boyfriend was graduating from the police academy and we wanted to attend .... anyhow Dan had a BM accident at the hotel... in the bed... fortunately we always travel with pads and sheets... i had to dispose of all, wasent hauling that home to try t

nancyl

nancyl

DON'T FEED THE DOG LICORICE !!!!!

Ok Dan has come a long ways in so many ways.. But as we all know it doesent mean it is anywhere close to being at all able to be trusted.. He tries so hard.. But encounter tons of things everyday. Todays issue -- as the title says, Dont feed the dog licorice... Dan has a couple things he has regained soem enjoyment for. Licorice is one of them, but it is not good to feed a dog licorice. The prestroke Dan knew this as he knew animals better than most.. He could look at a cow and know if they were

nancyl

nancyl

WHAT ??

so i got to go to fargo today with april and weston and wade.. to keep an eye on weston so wade and april could visit with wades family as his dad is very ill ( prayers please). It was good being grandma, and for once being able to be of use outside of him coming to our house. and he was a very good boy.. i enjoyed my time... Dan was home with his other 2 daughters. it was a IV day anyhow so he usually just stays in bed as the fall risk with the IV and the port being damaged are scary and instan

nancyl

nancyl

hmmmm...

i am so original with my titles... lol... Dan is still "stable" he has been in a better mood, but has basically been in bed for 3 days... of course it is sooooo... cold here-- that i believe his point is , "why get out of bed to move from the bed to the couch" .. his mood is ok he eats and drinks and is somewhat pleasant . Although some days i wonder. Yesterday the nurse was here hooking him up for a IV and the grandson was here . the 2.5 yr old walked in said Hi- grandpa and Dan replied Hi - s

nancyl

nancyl

black friday -- wth - crazy people..

so what the heck -- some of those "black friday" stories wow... i dont understand it... way back when i used to go , but quit about 5 yrs ago when it was not for "fun" that people went but for people to have an excuse to be nuts.. and rude.. and mean.. and greedy... and of course now it has been deadly for a long time.. but the total disregaurd people display for one another for a toy , or a trinket... i just dont know... and come on walmart and others.. at what point do you as a business think

nancyl

nancyl

extended family -- stroke

you ever notice how some things in life you are aware, of but never exposed to, can once exposed become a daily part of your life.. Dans stroke for example before his stroke - i knew of them, but never had experience ( up close and personal ) with them.. Now I know more than i want to.. Or maybe i wasent paying attention ? who knows... Our daughter in law's grandmother had a massive stroke ( on friday) and suffered another 24 hours later along with seizures and passed away about 48 hours after

nancyl

nancyl

Home again, home again- in a jig, jig

Well I tried a trip and I had a good time for the most part... Always worrying... checking my camera - my friend even got mad at me for checking the home camera while at a music show... but i did have a "good time" - you know the post stroke life has changed, type of good time.....whine, whine , whine ( cheese please) .... the guilt for leaving him behind and for lying to him about the trip ( i told him my girlfriend needs me to go to the hospital with her while she has surgery ) - yes, now my

nancyl

nancyl

glimmer

glimmer of hope -- well more of glimmer of light, but hey it's shiny !!! Dan has had 2 very good days - he has been fun, good mood, and even nice to his grandson... so nice... to feel .. well just not to feel scared, mad, confused and all the time... i won't fool myslf into thinking this is anything other that a anomaly , but i sure do like it... specially being nice to his grandson... thats good for EVERYONE .... of course dan is still demanding full of OCD and demanding ( oh i said that alrea

nancyl

nancyl

we all get them - more since the stroke sleepless nights !! arghh

cant sleep, cant toss and turn or i will wake dan so i get up and check the internet out... i used to read or watch TV prestroke .. now i just dont have the concentration...s o i just thought i would share my sleeplessness with you all.... Hate this, i need the sleep and am tired but well, you know the feeling the millions of - what if's -that run through our minds... and to top it off i yawned and messed my neck up ,what the heck !!.... I do have my brief vacation planned -- more stress planni

nancyl

nancyl

another day , but ended ok

today dan decided he wasent gonna take his pills, wanted to die... so i didnt fight about it, beg or bribe ( it's never worked anyhow) i just left and never brought it up again... left him alone for the most part of the day.. he napped some .. but as the day progressed he seemed to come out of it... I just stayed away , but encouraged the kids to go and visit with him ... Erika spent a few hours watching TV in the bedroom with him... and he seemed to come out of the "mood" .. he did take his PM

nancyl

nancyl

slice of our life... better and worse..

I never know who is gonna wake up for the day... Dan or stroke Dan.. Dan can be sorta fun ( and luckily i have seen him a bit more lately ) but stroke dan is a wild card.... yesterday he decided he wouldnt come in the house.. he was gonna clean garage.. which he did, then he washed the car,which he did... PLEASE dont think the man can just do this stuff alone mind you... sweeping means i move things - everything - over and over again.. and i have to sweep up the "sweepings" and dispose... still

nancyl

nancyl

YUCK and ouch

well it is officially NOV. , and we both have a stomach bug... ( personally i think we are both reacting to the flushot we got earlier this week) but we both have diarrhea ... now for me i can "run " to the bathroom, dan can't... so we are entertaining.. Dan is depressed and feels bad ( we have a bedpan) but that isent working so good either, poor guy is so embarrassed... it really doesent bother me , but i found a bedsore on his "bum" from all the irritation from washing and wiping.. hoping tha

nancyl

nancyl

i can be a crab too.

We all know how crabby , moody Dan can be ( with good reason).. but sometimes i can be a real grouch to... today and days past i have noticed Dan sorta "times his needs" and not in a good way... or else it is my imagination... example of today.. Dan was doing his cleaning ritual of the sinks, and all that... i sit and wait for him ( standing and seizure risk and all that ) anyhow today - he was cleaning and just wouldnt finish up a little quicker . ... because he was having a BM while he was cl

nancyl

nancyl

I have very little to blog about ----

I really have nothing to blog about, that is amazing... yes of course the daily challanges of a severley affected individual as is Dan... but those i can manage ( usually) ... today he is happily stayed in bed getting his IV therapy - he has decided he likes his IV to run very slow so it is a all day process... but hey it is HIS choice , and i am thankful he cares enough about anything to choose a slow run on his IV... So not a lot going on , and oh that is so nice... and no one is complaining

nancyl

nancyl

Doing good - but still a seizure

well we have been doing pretty well..... dan has enjoyed his freedom of "cleaning" ... the space at the new home - makes him feel he can contribute.. so he cleans the garage and the car.. and he so looks forward to it... he never was a lazy man, rare for him to just sit around... so this has been ideal - something for him to do that matters.. He has been eating consistently and drinking what he can, and we use the IV- and home health ... life is improved -- but what a long and uncertain road..

nancyl

nancyl

just checking in...

well as i reported before the move is done, and most everything else is as well...... dan is much happier that he has been in a long time... he overdid it last week with all his garage cleaning... and is coming down with a bug.. so he hasent been doing much of anything... doesent have much energy.. but isent crabby either... horray !!! i can deal with this ... my only prayer is for "this" to just continue... i am not doing one single thing or going anywhere right now trying to establish a balanc

nancyl

nancyl

MOVED

well the move is done -- the work of course is not ... still tons to put away and sort.. Dan for the most part is pretty happy !! he is out sorting the garage -- in his mind -- non of it makes much sense as to what he wants done -- but i do not care, anything can go anywhere... cause as long as he is being "functional " he is happy -- "king of his domain" I have FINALLY got a security company who has completley wired the house for safety not just smoke - heat detectors , but glass break and door

nancyl

nancyl

moving - again ...

so this monday we sign the papers and tuesday the floors will be dry from the carpet cleaning- so we move starting tuesday... this is gonna be tough ... but once i shift into the groove i will be OK..... i hope... Dan seems OK with the move.. i keep mentioning to him to keep orientating him to the fact of the move... i am thankful for the new home - to be honest i have never ever lived anywhere near as nice as this house... and selling my condo almost instantly was a relief.... and my toyota de

nancyl

nancyl

that little glimpse now and then

every now and then i get to see my Dan - the guy i married and had a family with-- now of course we all know dan is always ( literally) with me but today just like a few other times he was really with me.. We even talked about how nice it was to be clear headed and in the moment - i had him for about 2 hours before he wilted from being so tired.. doesent take long in stroke land... but i was so happy to see him..... of course it makes me think about the old life-- but as dan and i talked ( apha

nancyl

nancyl

broken ribs

well i chalk most pain up to nueropathy.... but this time Dan had broken ribs. Last week Dan had fallen at my daughters - well didnt listen and took himself down her driveway and tipped over his wheel chair... no complaints no harm no foul... took a few days but apparently there was a foul... he broke some ribs -- it took a bit of time for it to present ( kinda like when he fell in the shower in AZ) .. so here i have been saying nueropathy and the poor guy had broken ribs... but it wouldnt / did

nancyl

nancyl

its OK - dare i say it??

Dan has reached a sort of OK status in life.. although i am not fooled into thinking this is long term i do believe we are turning a corner of life...... he gets IV'd 2X ( at home) per week and this has made the biggest difference. he has some humor to him, some enjoyment - engages a little in life ( certainly more than he used to.) and i am not living with my heart in my throat. but i am living with a plug in my hand .. the IV - since we dont do much on the 2 days he is IV'd .. I am not complai

nancyl

nancyl

got me some blood today

I finally got the transfusion done today... which means i was unable to attend the funeral for my girlfriends grandchild.. but i spoke with wendy and of course she understood... and more importantly i can be here for her when she gets home in a few days... and i am just going to help out with the money i would have spent going down there... as i wrote before thanks to health insurance being so unattainable -costly - the kids had it but with a high deductable ... which they saved for the cost of

nancyl

nancyl

dans health and mine - mirror

dan does good i do good -- dan does not do so good neither do I... I can hold it together and get through the crisis situation - but then i fall.... my hemoglobin fell .5 pts in one day... down to 9.7 and now it is my turn for a uti. and my BP/ Deb your gonna love it ----- 70/58 at first they though everything was broke.. i laughed-- i knew - been here done this...... so monday - recheck of my hemoglobin - if still below 10 then transfussion and maybe the b/p will follow... 70/58 would hav

nancyl

nancyl