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It just goes on and on....

Dan is refusing his meds again tonight.. he is emotionally locked in on being angry... the reason i used my blinkers....Oh the wonderful things strokes can take from us... his tolerance for noise at certain times is so minimal sometimes.. of course i will us blinkers even Dan can't propel me to risk other peoples lives... i truly didnt see "it ( tantrum)" coming... We finally got some truly nice weather today, so we went for a long walk.. there is a nice walkway nearby ,all smooth cement to pus

nancyl

nancyl

appt today with psychologist

it went pretty good...the guys seems to care which as we all know is 9/10 's of the problem....getting someone to engage in the care for your loved one...of course no magical solutions.... but he wants to continue to see dan and give suggestions and will communicate with his internist and neurology staff... now this guy is a psychologist not a MD-- but he has been around awhile so like a good experienced nurse i respect him for his knowlege although not necessarily book learned (MD training) but

nancyl

nancyl

Quick blog

Dan and I are doing OK-- we are surviving... got some new med changes - taken off the coumadin ( to dangerous given his nutrition issues) now on pradaxa .. i have neer been a fan of the newere blood thinners , but the coumadin is more dangerous when a level of 6.99 gets reached... so there is that and they added Prozac to the mix of meds... hopefully the antidepressent will work..... and we also started flomax, to make sure his bladder is getting emptied out... male prostate issue ... so hopefu

nancyl

nancyl

Doing OK

So far of good... Dan has had in home nursing support ( which really is just a couple one half hours for a couple days) but they have been able to assure me he is OK... And we are starting to do things again.. so come monday he will be officially released from home health... which is good - he needs to go to the hospital for socialization and exercise... so that should happen next week meanwhile we are plugging away at home.. his mood is till shifty , but a little more stable.. at least this is

nancyl

nancyl

blog wk 4-8-2013- By golly there is some positive stuff at the bottom, can you believe it?

well i followed that string of blogs as far as it could go.... even i got bored with mousing down to whee i last wrote...LOL so went to the funeral of my girlfriends daughter.... in the end she had cancer that had went undetected ( 29 yrs old) and had lowered her immune system so she was suceptable to pneumonia and the sepsis just overrode her system.... the news brought some relief to her mom... knowing her child would have suffered - this was quick... sad so young... but i am losing my husban

nancyl

nancyl

Dan comes home today....... and sadness--- and more.. in case you are bored..

dan can come home today... he will continue to be on oral levoquin ( antibiotic) to continue the combat with the sepsis.... i wont go into him coming home a lot --- i am happy , maybe a good nite sleep ?? I lost a good friend today--- she has had stomach issues for a long time...and apparently her colon burst and sepsis set in on her immediatley... she was at her moms for easter meal got sick, ( her mom is a OR nurse) --was taken to the hospital and airlifted out... but she passed away early th

nancyl

nancyl

great day for dan but ended sorta tough ( like us stroke netters- tough)

dan woke up in a so-so mood ( his words)... ate breakfast , quick clean up... i went home showered, dressed nice -- it is Easter after all-- our lord has risen !! April brought weston to the condo and her and wade wen to the hosp. so they could bring a toy for weston that grandpa could be part of when i brought weston up to the hosp. with me.. so i brought weston who had been walking all over the condo calling for his UMMPA... kids such optimists.. he knows grandpas been sick and at the hosp

nancyl

nancyl

new - sorta interesting stuff...

well as i blogged in the past , dans carotid artery is open now... i really lean towards this being a new development-- with the super high INR... anyhow... we have seen 2 seizures since then , one grand map ( probably his body responding to the onset of the UTI)-- of course hind site.. and again last night, last nights i described to you all -- hind site it was a seizure.. way different than any i have ever seen before... today we got him washed up really good i was gonna showere him but the PT

nancyl

nancyl

just keep swimming, just keep swimming

ok i chose that title because it is how i feel in reference to our life.. i think it is off of Nemo... just focus and keep moving...so i am every bit confused today as i have ever been,, he is back to running a temp despite the third medication, but his pain was far less today not as many muscle spasms... the day went on and he really did pretty well .. we talked a little - he stayed dry for the most part, asked to brush his teeth , ate "some" at every meal even enjoyed eating some.... we have d

nancyl

nancyl

why do i always write to soon

dan had a good nite... so i left and took my sis back to fargo to the airport, did a few errands in the big town... whie at the air port dans surgeon called and said dan has a compression hernia ( very visable on the outside) much less the inside now that it is marked.....and maybe this is his issue -- he i still running slight fever.... and tired...... so i am excited hooray the monster has a face !!! get back from fargo - he had been sleeping all day... woke him, cleaned him up. and then the

nancyl

nancyl

now a kidney stone?? NOT a stone... WE HAVE NO IDEA..??..:( MORE NEWS :::::::

dan is in terrible pain, i will make this brief.... his labs are all better except his albuiem ( probably not spelled right) but this level could be a week old by the time the level is shown..... the level drawn today can reflect last weeks info basically.... it reflects nutrition and cell strength ( i thinK ) I am not a science guru.... but he is in a lot of pain and i havent heard back the ct scan rwsults of kidney stone but wow he was hurting today..... i feel so helpless ... i cant help him

nancyl

nancyl

update on Dan

so it is sepsis.. and a bad one...... they had cultured his blood and got the class of bacteria identified but not the specific bacteria yet.. that will take a little more time... so they changed the cipro to some other drug i had never heard of but the doc said it should take care of the bacteria class... this is what i comprehended but trying to explain it to others a little more difficult... anyhow, his blood pressure is still a issue they bolus him it rises and then drops..they bolus him ( m

nancyl

nancyl

here we go again... in the er with something...

well good golly, miss molly... here we go again... dan has been running fever up and down, this morning he woke up and was just shivering he was so chilled but -- his temp was like 104... enough called the ambulance and we are suspecting a blood clot or he is septic, or the flu..... any and all are dangerous when you are healthy , much less compromised as dan is... he has been and is eating drinking and doing his part.. but with a temp of 104 he is burning out all his liquids... tylenol does bri

nancyl

nancyl

Its my birthday and I'll cry if i want to... not really..... ok i ate the whole bag

no-- it was just catchy, made you look title.... my day was oK... had the grandson.. dan ate, took his meds and drank... also worked on his assistive chat... for way to long... the man can't do moderation... when he works on something now it is so hard to get him to understand -- STOP-- you undo the good, by overdoing.... the kids and dan took me out to a nice resturant and dan crashed there.. he just wasent feeling well after the meal... and had a oops... not bad , we got home and all cleaned u

nancyl

nancyl

awake and doing OK... dans home

dan has been awake and doing well, so far so good... his mood is good, he is about at his prestroke baseline... for stroke side effects aphasia,, ext... but he has ketosis ( had) now his body needs to flush that out... that is basically his body saying you starved me and i started to eat myself ( unfortunately muscle) and the doc said what you did to yourself could have been as bad as a stroke , but of course dan grasps for a little while and forgets... he doesent seem to know what happened and

nancyl

nancyl

Dans Awake... But not happy to still be here--- update he is happier

So my Dan is awake but not all that happy according to the nurses still very stoic and withdrawn and not really communicating.... this according to the nurses..... I am sitil not gonna rush over there although i want to..... very much but at this point the general concences is... this began with the bump up in meds, prompted the behavior... the not eating/drinking amplified the meds... made more behavior issues....perpetuated the problem( all the while i am making it worse with honey at least ta

nancyl

nancyl

Angels in disguise ( new update not good)

Angels in disguise ... Well dans surgeon is certainly that... Very smart man.....Dan is finally at the point of me having to call for the ambulance ..he is so mad he is appearing comatose.. But I get him here and the ER doc who is not really familiar with Dan said from a medical standpoint I can't really keep him he actually isn't that dehydrated his Coumadin is a little high but other wise , what can I do to help you ... I said we'll can you have the surgeon come over and see about replacing th

nancyl

nancyl

food and liquid issues still...

i dont know where his strength is coming from.... i have no idea.... but Dan got up and showered and micromanaged shaving ... shaving can take at least a half hour to forty five mins to complete .. dan is that picky and i swear he grows hair as i shave it....he is wanting to use a shower seat though... so it is a about a 2 hour affair every other day to shower and shave, lotion and groom and then there are the rituals .. dan has to clean the bathroom counter and wash the mirror everytime and eve

nancyl

nancyl

compromise

well the condo ladies came back to me today..... they wanted to negotiate the concrete... i thought about it and said, yes i will compromise. We settled on one side walk from the drive way to the patio.. i made it clear to them that i absolutely could have both if i wanted them with all the ADA rules but I am not here to make anyone miserable.. and then i said you know if the biggest gripe anyone has around here is because of the cars parked in my driveway - i will park them in the common drivew

nancyl

nancyl

2 year strokeaversary today....

today it has officially been 2 years since the stroke... seems like a lifetime ago...and beyond dans continued strike.. it was a bad day....dan did take his pills today and drank a milkshake finally at like 8 pm....but nothing else.....he got up and showered and sat up in his chair for a couple hours.. i have no idea where his strength comes from.. but i am sure he will crash in a big way...so my bad day.. we know the condo people already don't appreciate us.. today i was told no to the sidewalk

nancyl

nancyl

i try not to blog so much misery but, thats all i got,, 2 yr coming

i try to tell myself not to blog so much, but the simple fact is there is more than enough misery in my household that it spills, for lack of a better word.. so i guess spilling it here is the appropriate place.. dan is on the want to die road again.... the tiredness he had, from the titration up turned into dizziness ( or it was all together ) who knows ... but now its full blown depression with a suicidal ideation... he just wants to die, not so much suicide per say ..he really has no way to d

nancyl

nancyl

asleep, a lot

dans nuero has increased his lamictal, just by a little to hopefully eliminate the seizures.... i dont know that i wrote about it but he had another.... any how the small titration seems to have really put him to sleep.... he went to bed friday night and basically slept till sunday morning... used the bathroom once , but otherwise stayed in bed, thank goodness for briefs.... he got up this morning took a shower but asked for his shower chair, sat up and watched dantes peak and then went back to

nancyl

nancyl

Dan is a challenge

I don't know what's in the air with him, but we are projected to get 9 inches of wet icky snow...sleet... Ice. Here in ND... Dan though we should drive to the casino 100 miles north where even more yucky weather was/ is projected.... I showed him the radar we agreed we would go play pig wheel instead... Here in town... Then he changes it up again on me and insists we go to the casino.. Full blown tantrum, so we sitting outside the local bar and he actually grabbed my finger and pushed it back t

nancyl

nancyl

My Weston update

We have our 1.5 yr old grandson for a week..... And it has went so much better than I envisioned... Of course Weston grew up around Dan so he is well acclimated to staying out of the way when grandpa is walking, not crawling on him, and generally just leaving grandpa alone.... It's a bittersweet thing to watch, sometimes Dan is engaged and enjoys him, other times will avoid him like the plague... He can be tender sweet and mean as a snake to the kid,.... Every now and then we as a family go to a

nancyl

nancyl

Dan continues to work on his assisting chat...... Reply to treadmill

It is gonna be a long haul ...years and years ... But Dan is working on relearning words.... The assistive chat has been amazing... But it is monotonous work.. But so far he does his homework, the speech therapist likes the program for him and gave him new words to set him up for sentence patterning... I knew they had a special way of introducing words... Just nouns and verbs for now...this is the week starting last Friday that I have Weston. And so far it has went better than I expected.... Hop

nancyl

nancyl