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Entries in this blog

Learning Curve

Time really is relative when it comes to learning the lesson that life has to teach us. You never ever stop learning or at lest you should not. While I suffered from a dark, depression brought on by my stroke four years ago last July 4th. I began to feel that not only did I have nothing new to learn but that there wasn

ctaylor

ctaylor

The N word

The N word . With the up- roar lately about the usage of the word African American, I wonder if America can ever be non-racist. The mere fact that when someone who is in the public eye whether it is the President of the United States or some third rate bounty hunter. The public outcry make me wonder if Americans can ever think of people of color as just other people or will the idea of political correctness outweigh and override every single remark anyone makes There are other words that peopl

ctaylor

ctaylor

I love my country

I love my country; however there are things about it that drive me completely nuts. In addition, most of these things seem to emanate from the White House and the hollow halls of Congress. Last month Mr. Bush our great leader. Proclaimed October 12 National Child Health Care Day. Later in the someday he vetoed the Child Health Care Bill. Is it just me or does anyone else see some terrible irony here. The great white Leaser explained that he had to do this in order to prevent the rich fro

ctaylor

ctaylor

World Series

The World Series starts tonight and I find it somewhat comforting to feel the same the same excitement I felt almost 48 years ago on a warm September day in 1959 at the Los Angles Coliseum. My grandmother lived in L.A. around the University of Southern California campus. I would spend my summers there as well as a week every spring. The Brooklyn Dodgers had moved from Brooklyn to Los Angles the year before and since I was and still are a rabid fan of the Dodgers it was as though a 10 year-old

ctaylor

ctaylor

Fun place

Boy I must have been in a real fun place when I wrote those last few sentences. Today I

ctaylor

ctaylor

Staying current

I try to stay current with my blogging but now that my depression seems to be in recession, I am finding that time seems more and more valuable and that now I enjoy doing things that while depressed I was completely indifferent to. Getting back in shape has now become a top priority of mine, and unfortunately, to accomplish this, unfortunately, means being able to endure a lot of pain. I suffered a spinal cord injury in the fall of 1998 and the emergency surgery I had resulted in a build-up

ctaylor

ctaylor

Still remember

I can still remember how I felt then I could make a difference that if the world needed to be changed then me and my generation were the ones to do it. Yes, I know this was all pre Vietnam. Pre Watergate, pre global warming pre energy crisis pre 9-11. However, upon reflection my generation did make a difference. I still had yet to find out that we preferred love to war honesty and integrity to cover ups and lying ecology to big business and convenience but would non the less make a lot

ctaylor

ctaylor

What a difference

What difference a short period? Can Make? Three Months ago On the Fourth of July I celebrated? The four- year anniversary of my brain attack. Wow four years. It is hard for it to sink in. I try to conceptualize how I felt then as to how I feel now and I am not sure I can. My self-concept and self-assuredness

ctaylor

ctaylor

The process begins

Hence, the process begins. Just follow the yellow brick road Yes sure had I known where this journey would ultimately take me I would have jumped back into the ocean of pity and gladly drowned myself. What difference a short period? Can Make? Three Months ago On the Fourth of July I celebrated? The four- year anniversary of my brain attack. Wow four years. It is hard for it to sink in. I try to conceptualize how I felt then as to how I feel now and I am not sure I can. My self-conc

ctaylor

ctaylor

Some time later

Sometime later, I asked his mother if she thought I might be depressed. I told her of Hans

ctaylor

ctaylor

I digress.

However, I digress; three weeks after I returned to work the Von Noys left Utah and returned to Europe. I owe them a debt that can be paid back only with love admiration and being there for them whenever the need may arise. This was going to be just another blog entry but its fast becoming a journal of who I am and how I got to where I am. About two or three weeks after returning home from the rehab center Hans asked if I felt I might be depressed. At first I was somewhat put off by the qu

ctaylor

ctaylor

Forward

Forward. Now fast-forward 25 years to the Fourth of July 2003. I wake up and have a stroke. I am in the hospital for 3 weeks and in a rehab center for two more. Then 2 days before I

ctaylor

ctaylor

Hey, I'm back.

[ Hey, I am back! Hell it has been about 10 months since I last blogged and this is my yearly blog. I went to Europe and was there for a month and a half. It was from the middle of December, 2006. Until February 8 2007 when we left Munich to return home. My brother and I Stayed with some wonderful people who not only put me and my brother up but spent a small fortune on us by paying for everything. In addition, I mean everything hotels, meals, riverboat trips. Rail fares and airfares. My olde

ctaylor

ctaylor

It's been a while

My god I can't believe it's been over 4 months or longer since I last blogged. I wish I could say a lot of positive things have come and gone but the truth is that they have mostly gone. However life goes on on waits for no one especially fools like me. But I do seem to have learned to shoot the rapids better and find myself spending less and less tim in the drink of dispare. One accomplishment is I hardly ever think about my stroke and the effects that it visited upon me. I have one female frie

ctaylor

ctaylor

why.

Over whelmed why is it that it only takes a few simple mistakes and it seems the whole world or maybe just your world is crashing down burying you in a ton of goofs bumbles and confidence stripping crap. While everyone around you tells you that you did a good job when you know you didn

Guest

Guest

rambling about honesty

Why is it that all my best thoughts seem to come at night usually right before I drift into slumber land? So of course in the morning which just happens to be my worst part of the day I

Guest

Guest

oh heck is'n life grand

My stroke affected my memory like many others but with me it was mostly my short term which drives me nuts sometimes. I mean I can remember things that happened to me thirty years ago but sometimes can

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Guest

The Darkness

The DarknessHere I am once again bemoaning the fact that my depression seems to be wining the fight and slowly I

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Guest