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" I hate your job"



William hates for me to go to work. He would just love it if I stayed at home and took care of him.


I personally enjoy the time away. Even though it is work. This makes my life not seem like the 24/7 it would be if I were the sole caregiver for William.


I also enjoy the money that I can earn. We have more discretionary money to spend because of my job. We get the added bonus of insurance coverage for him and myself. this would all be out of pocket if I wasn't working.


All in all I know that work is helping me to keep my sanity. It is difficult and stressful. But the pros out weight the cons.


Leaving William with the caregiver reminds me of the time when my son was little and he had to go to day care. No, actually it doesn't. he loved going to day care and did not mind my leaving in the least. In fact, he loved going to the babysitters. William is truly a new experience for me. He is much more clingy and needy than my child was.


This makes me feel that he needs to be with caregivers...He cannot be so dependent upon me.



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Ruth, you seem to manage working and taking care of William quite well. :juggle: As long as it doesn't affect your health and William has his caregivers, I agree with your decision. I do feel like I am cut off from the world sometimes but I would not want the additional duties of work. I don't have the energy! If you have a good career, then it pays to keep your benefits and work status. William will adjust and be more independent.



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I think william needs some extracurricular activity which can give him pleasure without lot of efforts like reading book, playing on computer or indoor gardening, something he will enjoy & will keep him busy while you are away at work. I think you working outside is best therapy for you too, or you will get burnt with 24X7 caregiving.Maybe encourage william to have routine for his weekdays so that it keeps him busy. because of my routine I look forward to my exercise days & chores too.



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Ruth: I went back to work to save my sanity. But I will say, you had a great influence on my decision. Struggling with full time and supervisory responsibilities; the anxiety of leaving William alone, albeit for a short time, but still alone; Mary Beth mentioned that to me today. Said most people are not as lucky as Bruce and I in that I could afford to stay home (exactly the leaving him alone for more time issue); managing the home and finances and still primary caregiver to William. I thought long and hard, and yes it was the right decision at the right time for us, but there were many nights I reread your posts just to get the strength and courage to do it.


Personally I think Bruce is the opposite of William-can't wait to see me go-lol!


Cute story from when Britt was a teenager and before she boarded at a private high school. I went to day shift so I could be home at night with my teenager and all that involves. But occasionally would get a call to come in early-especially with bad weather. One morning, 5am, she heard the phone and was waiting for me on the stairs when I got out of the shower-hysterical. "Who is going to iron my shirt. I hate that you work and are on call." (mind you, even at thirteen, one would not trust Britt with an iron-she'd burn down the house). I said, honey, Uncle Bruce will iron your shirt. She howls and says "but he can't do it like you do!"


Today, Bruce could not put his shirt on himself. He is, after all as he reminded me, "crippled!" In trouble if I am here or if I am gone.


As hard as this is, your example from the day I joined here, has proven the right advice for me anyway. Yes, I feel guilty, again the money is good and a bonus, but a part of me has returned and that has only had positive results. Keep on truckin'. We make the best decisions we can.


Best, Debbie

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