Recovery Road
So let me tell you how I am feeling. Better, because the anti-depressant kicked in, but impatient. I did my OT exercises yesterday, and since my OT wants me to wait until the tone goes down before I start my next exercise it took me 2 hours. Now I wouldn't mind this if this ever lead to immediate results, but as you know, it doesn't. I'm just venting, by the way. You do all this work and you wonder if it's doing anything. So I had a fill in OT on Fri and he says he wants me to do all the exercises every day. This really is possible, because I wake up before the birds start chirping at five or six, and start the coffee. Coffee, by the way, is a requirement for OT exercises.
Did any of you actually do your OT exercises every day? Is that realistic when you are also supposed to walk every day, and socialize because it's good for your overall well-being?
What I like doing is typing (here) and emailing, and journaling because I'm practicing my handwriting. I want to make sure my handwriting and typing skills are very good because both are left-handed now. By the way, the handwriting really takes forever to get good at, so now I'm working on fast.
I'm happy here with my mom, and have given up plans to move to my house by myself because I clearly need my mom right now. Early on, getting back to the house was all I could think about. But in the name of recovery, I realize I'm best where I'm cared about, and assisted. Plus, there's no way I can walk my dog. He's way too strong. I'm sad that he acts like she's his mom now, but I just need to focus on me.
It took me a long time to realize my identity, but now I own it; I'm a stroke survivor. It's changed me, my values, who I am as a person. I was embarrassed at first, somewhat in denial, but right now the stroke is so much a part of who I am. Three days per week at the hospital, where the valet guy knows my name, every week or two at the Coumadin clinic.
Even at the shoe store I had to say I had a stroke because I need shoes that will work for me. I bought sandals but I'm not sure I can wear them. Maybe I can wear them but walk really slow. I'm here on this journey and some days I'm ok with it, and somedays I hate it, but I'm still here. I've never missed a day of therapy. I'm very lucky in a lot of respects.
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