well, I just got back from OT, and I balled my eyes out there. My OT has noticed that I'm having a rough time recently, and she thought it valuable to talk about it. She said that it's normal to come to acceptance with disability, and healthy to get those feelings out. She said you can only stay motivated so long, and then sometimes you need a break. She told me to think about what I want to do, but that we can do less than three times per week. I need to get out and be with people, because that's what I thrive on.
It's really hard to accept at 31 that my bodies changed so dramatically in functioning. Life is unfair. I say it time and time again. I heard one tragedy after the other when i was a therapist. Life isn't always nice. You always think it's someone else who's gonna get a stroke; not you. And then you do........and then you spend time wondering what that means. And when you realize it, you're devastated by it. So how do you pick up the pieces?
And how long does it take to accept the deficits? It seems so big and overwhelming. And then compared to what others have been through it seems so small.
I know you all will say to work hard---but I'm just not there right now. My OT said I stayed motivated for a long time, but maybe I need a break to just live my life. And then I said, "what life." I don't know what my life is anymore. Confusion.