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nice day and some changes



I decided to see Mum this morning before I visited Ray and I was so glad I did as she was in a delightful mood, all smiles and beating time to music. They have a radio in her shared room now and she was bopping away to the song "Wild,Wild West" half laying in her chair, her hands and feet beating in time. I so well remember her singing and dancing around her kitchen to a favorite song on the radio so it was like dipping into the past when she was young and happy and lively.


The sun was out today and it is showing faint signs of spring so on another visit soon I might be able to take her out into the garden again. I do that every few visits if it isn’t too hot, too cold or blowing a gale. I am sure being out in the fresh air does her good. She always loved her garden so maybe the sight or smell of flowers is one she remembers too. Old memories don’t die with the brain cells, they just get harder to access.


The visit to Ray went well too as he did do some of the chair exercises the new physiotherapist showed him yesterday with me cheering him on so that was a positive for a change. The downside is they have tonight transferred him back to the ward with only dementia patients where the attention goes to the more bothersome patients and quiet ones like Ray get little or no attention.


At Lions tonight I paid both of our six monthly dues and put Ray down as on indefinite leave due to illness. I don’t know if and when he will go to dinners again. With the thickened fluids and specialized diet it is very difficult to go to a normal dinner. I know we did it for eight months three years ago but he didn’t have as many other problems then and certainly not the incontinence at the level it is now.


I rang Ray’s sister tonight for her birthday, as she was 61 today. She was Ray’s favourite of his two sisters and he did actually mention some days ago that Jude’s birthday was soon though he couldn’t remember the day. She used to come and see him once a year, which is once more than the others. For someone like Ray I am not sure celebration days are important, for him as for Mum the days just flow one after another and I am not sure he remembers much about them. The combination of stroke damage and dementia has taken such a heavy toll.


I went down to one of the local beaches today, didn’t walk on the sand but watched the waves roll in for a while. I actually went down to look at the progress of the new Surf Clubhouse as that is where Lions future meetings will be once it is opened at the end of October. The hold-up apparently is the road works, new driveways etc being held up by the wet weather. Since the old one was demolished our Club has been wandering from venue to venue. I like Lions dinners so hope that once Ray is back home I can still go.


I am getting impatient now for Ray to be ready to come home again. I think it is because life seems to be on hold. I can’t make any plans, I can’t decide what to do about certain issues. I need to leave our money available for nursing home fees etc if Ray does have to go into one. Which means curtailed spending on other things.


I do need a lot of new curtains, blinds etc for summer. It is easy to neglect maintaining your home when you have far weightier matters to think of – in our case Ray’s health issues. But of late I have made some changes while many more are waiting to be addressed.


Trevor is cleaning out our garage, or attempting to. Ray was a real bower bird (so am I come to that), which means we saved so much for a rainy day that now needs to be cleared out and thrown out or given away. It is a huge task and really we are just nibbling at the edges of the problem.


I have one of our favourite couples coming for the weekend. John will bring a chainsaw and some of the saplings that have sprung up along our boundary will “get the chop”. He is a painter, gardener and handyman and incidentally Trev’s godfather also so he and Trev will have fun sorting through yet more of our “treasures” I’m sure. I do need to have a clean-up before they get here so better dedicate Thursday to that.


It has been a better week this week so far. I hope the light at the end of the tunnel will soon be switched back on again.


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Guest lwisman




I am glad you had a good day. I know from my own experience how difficult it is to watch a parent deteriorate. It must be doubly hard for a spouse. My hat is off to you for doing so well.


May your courage continue to be there. Hope there is some light in the future!


You are lucky to be heading into spring. It is still summer here, but I know fall is coming. The seasons just keep on rolling along.


Take care,



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What a warrior you are. I am glad to hear that you Mom was enjoying the music. Amazing!


Yes, I can understand how life is on hold for you now. I do hope that Ray responds and is able to get home again.


I am so glad to hear that you were able to enjoy the beach. How I would love to join you.



But, I am sweltering here in Houston.



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Sue: I can just picture the smile on your face when you got to Mum's. What a gift!


I understand the life on hold. Don't dare do a thing awaiting the future. Its is true bummer, but seems like you have some projects to keep you busy.


Entering your world waking up, watching ours start to sleep. Leaves are already dropping. Something to do with the amount of rain-snow we got.


Hopefully some more beach days ahead. Best, Debbie

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We kept both Gary's and my memberships to the Moose Lodge for the first four years after his stroke, then I finally decided not to renew his. If he ever goes again, it would be with me anyhow and I kept my membership. Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us ....live for today and don't put off doing anything you really want to do!



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