Apparently my step son ran into him a few days ago and invited him to the meeting also. Except step son mixed up the day and told brother in law the meeting was tomorrow. A little bit of schadenfreuden here, because if the brother in law had called me for confirmation/details as I had asked him to then of course he would have been able to confirm the correct time!

Step son and his partner brought our four and a half year old

grandchild..... and when the discussion got heated my step son's partner

took her out of the room at my request. She wasn't too happy about it...

but she did it.

The kids seem to all be in agreement with me being in charge, and have at least given lip service to the need to have Steve's diet and medications VERY carefully monitored now. I'm not 100% sure they quite understand what that means but at least they expressed a willingness to try. At one point step son's partner said she knew all about diabetes since her mom is a diabetic..... and I pointed out that this is a bit beyond that. Steve needs 60 carbs per meal, his insulin needs to be adjusted according to his blood sugar (test 5x a day, shoot insulin at least 3x a day), he can't eat any high cholesterol items, or high sodium, etc... and she breezily said "Well, I can just look all that up on the internet!" (LOLLz. Ya. A specialized diet can SOoooo easily be looked up on some random internet site! ) But I was good and said "Or you could just ask me.... " (a comment which made the psychologist smile) I also invited them to go to the VA dietician with us next time so they can ask questions and learn. They agreed that might be a good idea. So there is hope there.

The biggest issue that came up wasn't much of a surprise.... Steve has been telling me that he is perfectly fine with having me and my partner live in a small building at the back of our property. He is cool with us fixing it up in to a little liveable cabin.... Or so he has been telling me.

Step son, however, has not been so cool with it, and has had a few discussions behind my back with his dad. According to step son his Dad is

*not* cool with me "moving my boyfriend into the house" OK Kid, but if you had asked me first you would have found out that isn't what we were planning anyhow....

Step son also thinks he has the right to tell me that I can't ever have my

partner anywhere on the property.... because "it's weird!"

Well, Boy-o, sorry, but you *don't* get to make *that* call!

Also, since Steve did say at the meeting that he *had* told me it was OK to have my partner live on the property, and he also had told my step son he was not cool with it.... clearly, Steve is malleable when it comes to opinions about what is going on, etc. Which means he is one hell of a lot more vulnerable than people realize.

But I was able to clarify that my partner is not intending to move into the main house, and further, that if I am going to survive being Steve's caregiver then I need the support of my partner, since he is the person who has been helping me get through all this crap. However, we *all* realize that it is awkward to say the least, and my partner and I have been working with Steve's feelings in mind all along.

I was a good girl and did not tell my step son and his partner what royal jerks I think they are for assuming I was simply moving my "boyfriend" in without so much as considering all these complications!

We talked about the brother in law for a bit... The psychologist wants to talk to him privately, and I told him straight up that I wasn't in agreement with that. The BIL has been HIGHLY toxic, and I told everyone that when the BIL and SIL betrayed my trust and ramped Steve up with all kinds of fears that I was out to do him wrong, that it triggered my PTSD and I wasn't able

to even leave the house for three days. (oh ya... a big part of what I am

dealing with is a lawsuit against my former school. It involves sexual harassment, and a sexual assault by a professor. When I reported him they

did a sh*TTy job to say the least. ... and believed every word out of his

golden mouth.... this is where the PTSD comes from. So issues of trust and

safety are HUGE for me... hence the need for my partner to continue to be my support through all this)

I explained that I simply *can't* have someone so toxic involved with Steve right now. And I allowed that *if* my brother in law apologizes to my face for the actions of his wife and himself, then I would consent to visits with Steve as long as I was also there. I do not trust them to visit Steve without me around.

So, all in all... not the worst meeting.... It was rough, but we got through it.