I remember wondering what was so great about being alive---I couldn't do anything--not even tie my own shoes. I was mortified and felt like the biggest burden and could see no good in me being here--just being honest.

one day the OT came and found me crying and complaining that I couldn't even tie my shoe as I was trying to show her that I couldn't. We both ended up staring at each other in shock when while trying to show her that I couldn't...I did! I was never so excited in my life!

Keep the faith. I am keeping it for you.

Jamie

Mike:

define normal for me. I understand & feel your loss, because I have experienced similar loss, but I am here to tell you there is life after stroke, its just different not good or bad just different. sooner you will accept the way you are, sooner you will start enjoying your new normal. Time does not wait for any one, so don't waste it on being sad. keep faith & count your blessings every day.

Asha

I learned a long time ago that normal is only a setting on a washing machine. Just do your best--that will always be enough.

Jamie

Mike: this is a tough time for you. You are coming up on your anniversary. You are still remembering yourself before stroke and still trying to adjust to you, after. Probably reflecting on the past year, thinking you would be further recovered.

There are still days when Bruce "forgets" and tries something he now needs help with. Today, for example , he backed himself into the BR and then remembered that he could not stand, take his pants down and go. Yes, it will come in time. His balance is incredible, just has to remember the process takes time now and he can't wait until the last minute. Something as basic as that.

Yes, we both have a new life and sometimes we forget. But there will come a time when you forget, feel some remorse and then just say, "well, just move on." Then there will be days when you do something, just out of the blue and later say, "Wow, I can do that now."

We are at 2 1/2 years post. I think we both realize that Bruce will probably not get his hand back, there is some movement in his arm. And Bruce, personally gave up on the walking. So we all adjust. We make decisions as to what is important to us in recovery and what is not.

But the real outcome is acceptance. What am I accepting to give up, what am I willing to work 100% at getting back. Personally I give up on nothing. He is exposed to everything I can find, research and financially afford to expose him to. What he choses to do with that knowledge is up to him.

With your anniversary and the holidays coming up, this is bound to be an up-down emotional time for you. Work through it. Allow yourself your down days, do something to treat yourself or do nothing at all; but tomorrow you get up and get back on the treadmill. This is a long haul, but you do not give up. Know I am thinking of you, and Congratulations on your One Year. A day to Celebrate! Debbie

Hey, you're allowed to have down times.

Best words I've heard, for me, were from a rehab friend over a year ago. He was about 2 years further down the post-stroke road than me and had much the same damage as I did. He just told me," don't worry, it sucks a little less all the time."

And at 22 months post for me; I concur. It sucks less.I hope tomorrow you'll feel the same.

Lisa

Hey Mike

Hang in there, everyone is entitled to a down day. It makes the up days so much nicer

Keep up the recovery and effort walking

John

HI I STILL HAVE DAYS, NOT AS OFTEN AS I USED TO, OF WAKING UP AND FEELING MY ARM AND LEGS, IM ALMOST 4 YRS POST.I EVEN HAVE DREAMS, WHERE IM NORMAL,, IM RUNNING OR WALKING! PATTY

You have probably heard this a milliion or more times....but "take one day at a time". I am almost at a year past this latest stroke, and I still feel new to not "feeling normal" but what is the definition of feeling "normal?"

Remember you are different but this "difference" is fantastic! You are inspiration to all and that is something to be proud of!

As a five year stroke survivor I can tell you it can get better even after five years. Ethyl17 you folks have probably heard of the Saeboflex hand exercise device but if not look it up. 4 and 1/2 years ago it turned my hand and arm from curling up and of no use to now working nearly normal. If you look at my blogs in early 2007 you can read about my progress then. Active release therapy I received in Canada (developed in Colorado) also was of GREAT benefit to me and is available in the USA. Not everything I tried back then helped, but these two things did. BTW I had to find out about both on my own, my doc and local PT's did not know of either. I wish you folks well.