Refusing to give up is good. Trying is good. But so is gently letting your mother and other family know that stroke recovery heeds no one's schedule but its own. If you can't do something RIGHT NOW, ok, you can't do it right now. You can try again in a day, a week, a month, a year, etc, as long as you try.

Pushing can be good, but it can also be coujnjterintuitive. We can easily get to a point where we just get upset, stressed and overwhelmed trying to move that mountain all at once.

Sometimes we need to use a spoon instead of a shovel. - Baby steps. My sister likes to remind me and my mother that is what I need to do, "just take baby steps." Eventually I'll get there.

You will too.

Orlando,

The important thing is not to give up on you. That is what your people really want. I think you can do it too, but what I mean by that is that you have the attitude, determination and drive to make it happen with a little time.

I learned the hard way there is a thin line between confidence and "crash and burn". This isn't some self-esteem issue where we convinced ourselves we can't do something. There is a very real, physical reason for our hands not to move. Please don't let yourself get to that point where hope gets lost because you can't do it on some one else's time frame.

Be patient but firm in your recovery. Yes, you can do it!

Jamie

Orlando,

Lydia and Jaime are right. Your mom loves you and wants the best for you but it is between you and your body and God when you do each milestone.

I know me and my husband push our son too and that is wrong we keep getting into trouble by his psychiatrist about not pushing him he will do it when he is ready.....we really push this potty training and his psych told us that we will do more damage and he will lose his ground if we continue so we too have to show patience.

Yes the age difference is a big leap but not any different.....the more your mom pushes the more frustrated you get because your not on her time schedule. Dont listen to others when you are ready you will get it and that is what counts. You know what you need to do and you know what your body can handle so you know when you need to stop.

Keep up the progress on YOUR time

Dyan

I SAY TAKE YOUR TIME! It will come little by little. I'm just now trying to walk without a cane at almost 8 years recovering. :big_grin:

Fred!

Orlando-we caregivers are advised early on that the first few months are the most important in recovery. So we are taught by Doctors, Nurses, Therapists to push, push, push.

Bruce was given every opportunity early on that I could find. He had PT-OT here at home and caregivers trained by the therapists, twice daily for two hours each. We private paid a Speech Therapist because Bruce is a college-educated survivor in English and needed someone who could provide therapy at his level. After home care, I got him into the best head injury Rehab in the State as an Outpatient-therapy three times a week and the pool. When Insurance ended that, we private paid for PT-OT, Speech and the pool for nine months. We did Botox and all of his equipment is custom to him. He suffered a set back with over-toning and last November just gave up. We have caregivers, all trained by the therapists, every day to spell me off at work. Bruce will do minimal exercises with them. I ask every single day if he would like me to help him do anything. The answer is always no.

However, he will help with anything here in the house: folding laundry, doing dishes. He is expected to wash himself up, do as much of his own shower as he can, clean his bathroom-yes, from a WC. Help with meal preparation. He loves to go for rides, so goes on all errands, balances the checkbook, pays the bills. And all of this he is more than happy to do.

We, as caregivers, are only trying our best. It is trial and error for us as well. Yes, I personally want the physical recovery, but at this time that is not a priority for Bruce. So I move forward with those things he is more than willing to do. I step back and painfully watch him struggle and know that is best for his recovery.

Please consider that Mom is responding to what she has been taught by the "pros" and has your best recovery at heart. Share with her, your thoughts and desires. We as caregivers are so thankful for any input from our people. Communication. Know I am praying for all of you, Debbie