• entries
    2
  • comments
    14
  • views
    2,851

Another God given day


HollyGoLightly

1,224 views

The sky is as clear and blue as yesterday. Thus making it very cold here in Ohio. I haven't been out to see my horses since my mom's stroke but using the cold as today's excuse. There are so many things to do but I am actually both psychically and emotionally exhausted. I have lost over 15 lbs since late October. I am thinking of swapping the laundry and possibly lying down for a bit? I am not good at resting. The house needs vacuumed, Christmas cards need addressed, mom's condo is still filled with belongings, her bills need looked at, phone calls to make, work tomorrow and will need to prepare for court subpoena on Tuesday....but after I am done testifying I have the rest of the week off. The plan is to rent a big uhaul truck and get the last few things out of mom's condo. I continue to feel overwhelmed but know hat once her condo is done I will feel a bit better.

The best thing about yesterday was being able to set balloons free in the sky with a friend. She lost a baby 7 years ago and he would have been 7 yesterday, same birthday as me. I had mentioned on Facebook that I wanted to get balloons to let go in memory of her son and also the baby my mom lost in 1960... My sister Charlotte would have been 51 this year. Anyways, I ran into my friend by total coincidence, or more likely because God had it in His plans. I had my youngest son with me and she had her daughter and hubby. We went to the park and let 10 balloons fly off...7 blue for her son, 2 pink, one for ger daughter and one for Charlotte, and an extra blue for my son Jameson. The balloons looked like stars as the sun glistened on them as they rised into the heavens. It was all good.

6 Comments


Recommended Comments

Your mom's stroke is still so recent and I imagine that both you and she are still in shock. I understand the challenges of being an only child and we do take caring for our parents so seriously. Time does heal. It doesn't take it all away but you will adjust. The idea of the balloons is so beautiful. Maybe you and you mom will be able to do it together next year just to celebrate the hurdles you WILL conquer this year.

Ruth

Link to comment

hey Holly:

 

I agree with Ruth completly, first year & first 6 months are hardest to deal with it for both survivor & caregiver. you will need to be strong for both of you right now, though as my hubby used to say to me when I felt like drowning. he would say just keep your head above water right now & things will change, & as a drwoning man would cling to leaf I clinged to strength of his words at that time, but now that we have been through that dark phase of our life I would tell you one thing which I know for sure just hang in there & take one day at a time right now, but it will get easier & better I can promise you that cause I have lived to tell it to you personally. don't get too overwhelmed by amount of work you still need to do, just do one thing at a time & when it gets accomplisshed, don't forget to give pat in a back for job well done. I love the idea of balloons too, maybe incorporate in our life too.

 

Asha

Link to comment

hey Holly:

 

I agree with Ruth completly, first year & first 6 months are hardest to deal with it for both survivor & caregiver. you will need to be strong for both of you right now, though as my hubby used to say to me when I felt like drowning. he would say just keep your head above water right now & things will change, & as a drwoning man would cling to leaf I clinged to strength of his words at that time, but now that we have been through that dark phase of our life I would tell you one thing which I know for sure just hang in there & take one day at a time right now, but it will get easier & better I can promise you that cause I have lived to tell it to you personally. don't get too overwhelmed by amount of work you still need to do, just do one thing at a time & when it gets accomplisshed, don't forget to give pat in a back for job well done. I love the idea of balloons too, maybe incorporate in our life too.

 

Asha

The balloons were awesome! And yes, one day at a time....reminds me of the Dr. suess book, Oh the Places You Will Go...some roads you will not wish to go down, being caught up in a lurch but when things go well you'll soar to high heights and be the best of the best except when you don't because sometimes you won't...and hang ups and bang ups can happen to you! But On we will go?..life is a great balancing act...you will succeed 98 & 3/4% guaranteed.

Link to comment

Your mom's stroke is still so recent and I imagine that both you and she are still in shock. I understand the challenges of being an only child and we do take caring for our parents so seriously. Time does heal. It doesn't take it all away but you will adjust. The idea of the balloons is so beautiful. Maybe you and you mom will be able to do it together next year just to celebrate the hurdles you WILL conquer this year.

Ruth

My mom actually got teary eyed when I told her the story. She was all wrapped up in the quilt I made her. It is partially made from a silk robe she wore when pregnant with Charlotte, and a whole other story. But thank you so much Ruth, have a beautiful night.

Link to comment

Holly, just getting organized after stroke, as the primary caregiver is an immense task. Let along your own family and the holidays coming up.

 

I am so proud you took the time to do something so meaningful and precious. It was much needed in the overwhelming role you play right now.

 

I always have a special candle that I light for the precious baby I lost, so many years ago. I never got to hold or know him, but I carried him for six months and he is as much a part of me and I am. That is another reason I love this time of year and quiet nights with soft tree lights. Time for reflection and thanks for all that I have been given, sorrow for what I have lost and somehow a new strength to continue on.

 

Hugs to both you and Mom. Debbie

Link to comment

:welcome: to Stroke Net, the Blogs and the message board. We're glad to have you along with us. Hope you enjoy our company for a time to come. Wishing you the best in recovery and all things good!

Fred!

Link to comment
Guest
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.