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Just came back from meeting with my son


mcdube

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I finally met with Marc. The ice is broken, it went well. Though I dont have the same positive feeling I did when I met Dan the first time, it is still something. He cant get passed the hurtful things that were said. I suppose its easier for me to forgive and forget because I am a mother. I hope with time he will get passed those aweful things that were said (both sides) Thats all I can say about it for now because it is all I know. I want to stay hopeful and positive. Who knows what the new year will bring?

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MC: it is a start and a wonderful Christmas gift. Try not to dissect it too much. Take it a face value and just be thrilled that it happened at all. Good things coming. Debbie

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Guest hostwill

Posted

M.C.,

i THINK YOUR ATTITUDE IS RIGHT, TIME HAS A WAY OF HEALING ALL THINGS. I PRAY ALL GOES WELL FOR YOU AND DAN, YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS.

-WILL

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MC :

 

I agree with Debbie, don't try to dissect too much, just go with flow, your love & forgiveness will melt him too. As a parent & elders we love our children no matter what, there is no point in holding who was right & wrong, you have to do what is right thing to do now, don't dwell on past, hopefully this new year will bring lot of joy & happiness in your life. you will be in my thoughts & prayers.

 

Asha

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MC, I can say for myself that many parents probably goes through these family matters such as you have. I am in that situation now with my only son who happens to not be talking to me for several years now. He is fully grown, 19 years in the Army, married for the second time to a lady from Russia. I have no idea where he may be stationed at this time but my grandson does. That's good enough for me.

 

His mom was my first wife who left me when I returned from Vietnam but passed in 1998 the year I married the fourth time. Life goes on as we all control our own destiny! :big_grin: We must do and be where it makes us happy with life. I'm one happy camper!

Fred!

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Thank you everyone for your replies. It feels good to know I can share my feelings with all of you. Merry Xmas to all of you.

 

mc

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Merry Christmas to you too MC. Sons sometimes can carry emotional baggage. I have been through that with my son. I think it is because he thinks his sister and I are so close and he feels left out. I have learned, as with my stepchildren, to keep my mouth shut (at least most of the time) lol After all, no one is perfect. We do our best.

 

Julie

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mc that is wonderful that you and marc got together, i remember the heartache you felt years ago regarding the relationship you had with your family. now it seems its coming together. our children don't see things as parents do but will understand more when they have their own children. words said cannot be taken back when said, but they can be forgotten to be able to move forward. like you said stay hopeful and positive and i bet things will all work out for everyone involved. have a wonderful christmas making new and happy memories with your family, 2012 might be the best year ever. this is a sad time of the year in memory of your brother's passing at christmas time. so keep your spirits high. he is watching over his family wanting all of you to be happy and together again. stay strong and you will have that happiness again with your family.

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MC I have as theory that solving a built up personal relationship problem is like peeling an onion - you have to start with the outside next a layer at a time to get to the core ( heart of the matter).

juat as you can't get to the center of the onion with out peeling away a layer at a time. I think we hav e to peel the first layer off of the problem & look at it again. in a new light - take another layer off from the new perspective. continue that way until you reach the center. solving problems 1 at a time as you proceed

 

Sounds like you & Marc have peeled back the 1st layer & you both can reassess the situation from this new stage. hopefully you will soon be ready to peel back the 2nd - and be learning & changing as you go.

 

 

 

Wish you the best & hope this is the start of something good for you and your boys!

Susan

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