But, I kept seeing this add for an app called Skout, almost every time I have been playing Words With Friends on my iTouch. It lists itself as an app foir "flirting" and connecting with new people. Well, I figured "nothing ventured, nothing gained," and I can block anyone who I have a negative incident with. At the very least, I am not so lonely if I am chatting, in real time, with other people.

So I downloaded the app, completed a profile - very honest and upfront about my medical issues and my separate4d marital status, even put the fact that I have Monster right out there. Was very clear that I am not looking for a romantic relationship, just a friendship. I didn't think much would come of it. Not much came of the last "flirt" site I joined (I only join the free ones. I'm NOT paying for companionship.)

Well, my message inbox blew up overnight! Yes, there were several messages from men (I'll call them that) who were in their 20's and very early 30's - too small and young a fish for me thanks. I want to have something in common to talk about. Throwing them back without a second glance (but being nice about it). Still, there were a LOT of messages from men within my preferred age range - 4 years in either direction of my age or 39 - 47. 4 of them happened to be online when I checked my inbox, and 3 of them requested to chat with me. 2 of them seemed genuine, not throwing pick-up lines or coming across as a "playa." The one that did I wrote off. I'm not going to deal with that crap.

Had a nice conversation with 1 fellow in my general area, and one conversation that I ended when it started getting a little steamy who is in another state.

Frankly, I don't really expect much to come out of any of this, other than some flirty conversation, but I will say it was nice to feel like I was something other than "damaged" for a while. It was nice to be called "pretty," "cute", "lovely" and "hot" by a few males. I don't even care if they meant it or not and am not going to worry about trying to figure out if they did or not.

I've been very depressed about being alone and feeling lonely, broken and completely undesired by any and all males on the planet. After all, my husband left me because I was "too much to have to deal with" after the strokes. How could I expect anyone else to be interested in me?

So, this was nice and I'll take it for what it was, which may be not a whole lot of anything, or may turn into meeting some one I can spend time with. I'm not closed to anything but the idiots trolling the app, looking to try to "hook up" just because they have the exterior equipment and think they have to put it some place. 99% of those are outside my age range anyhow, aqnd definitely not interesting enough for me to want to deal with on any level.