In an old blog of mine (2007) I shared the following:
“My once big talker is now a captive audience to my many ramblings. This time it was about some thoughts that had been going through my head about respite care. When my oldest children were babes I could not afford baby sitters so co-opped with other mothers; taking care of their children then having them watch mine. Surely there are other people in our area who also need a break from care giving at times who would like to form a co-op
My husband showed surprising interest in this idea. It came out that having heard so many tales of people here, he is rather interested in meeting other stroke survivors. I shared with him some of the stories I have heard about when those with aphasia get together. The whole idea seemed to please and amuse him. We then discussed what else he could do with other survivors and since we were in high humor I suggested maybe he could find an arm wrestling buddy. Well, you should have heard him laugh! He took the idea and ran coming up with a regular competition. In our imagination we ended up planning a whole hemiplegic arm wrestling team!
Lest anyone thing we are cruel or insensitive to hemiplegics, realize that we deal with the serious frustration of that condition every day. Sometimes the best way for us to cope is by having a sense of humor and laughing at our problems and difficulties. So we laughed and shrugged off some of the stress that has been on us for a few minutes.”
I as Dick and I were sitting in his room a couple days ago, I took his right hand in mine. His response to the position of our hands was to pretend to arm wrestle with me. It made me think of the day that we sat laughing about his ability to arm wrestle when he could not move that arm. So many things have changed since then. Our conversations are even more one sided now. He does not remember much. But, I took him up on the “offer” to arm wrestle. I let him win but I am rather certain he would have won anyhow! His arm and hand continue to regain abilities even after all this time.
Somehow, I find this really encouraging. If Dick can improve with all the stroke damage to his brain as well as the destruction of dementia after seven years it gives hope to every stroke survivor out there as well as their caregivers. Dick and I rarely focus on the effects of stroke these days focusing instead on his dementia. There is little I can do for him so I chose to try to give to other caregivers. If our experiences can encourage just one person then our stage of life is good.
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