I know exactly where you are coming from. I have had all the thoughts you are having. It sucks to be dependent on our spouses and they don't deserve the life they are having to live with now. My husband has a job where he works 50 hours a week. Then he comes home and does the chores I can't do around the house anymore and has to help me get a shower. Then he cooks dinner and cleans up after. And deals with two teenaged boys on top of everything else. I try to do what I can to help him out but I know that it is so inadequate and not very helpful. When I was really depressed I would tell him that he would be better off without me and the burden of having to help me but he kept saying, and I finally believe him, that he would not want to live without me. I am sure your wife would not want you to move away. Just try to get through one day at a time and as your recovery progresses, things will look brighter.

I wish I could be more helpful to you. Is there maybe a local service that provides transportation to and from dr appts in your area? Maybe you could call your dr office or local hospital and ask about that. I know you don't want to be a burden on anyone but the people that love you don't think of you as a burden, they are just glad you are still here with them. Please repost after your lab appt today to let us know you got there and back safely.

are there any stroke support groups whaere you are at??? ( there are none here) but mabey at a stroke support group you could netwrk a little and get some help with a ride --- i know i would do i if i were aware of someone with a need... how about are there any busing services that offer handicap assistance... this would help eliminate confussion.... have you contacted social services to see if they have a program or know if someone does... how about yur church tell your priest and or minister of your need.... maybe these are dead end avenues but they are ideas.... nancyl

oh yah and leaving won't help ....

Yes, I agree. I really doubt that you should leave.

Check into the options that Nancy listed.

Churches are excellent avenues of help. So are community facilities. WE have assistant ministries here in Texas. Social services of some sort. Call a stroke support group in your city. Also try contacting the social service person that you had in the hospital...they do know of resources that you can contact.

Good luck...

Ruth

Should your wife have to be burdened with your limitations? In an ideal world, no. But that is also true for you. As a caregiver I believe that my husband and I are in this together. Sure I wish it would all go away but I NEVER want Dick to go away. Dealing with teens is NOT easy. Since your 16 year old is your wife's daughters I would let her handle it. You might want to establish some house rules with your wife and support her. But as a Mom I can say that I really get upset if anyone yells at my kids. I can yell or discipline but not my husband (step-dad as well). Silly I guess but Moms are crazy about their kids! Your wife does need extra encouragement and support though which you can work to give her.

Ruth

Ruth is right we caregiver are in it for the long haul, we know that if the shoe was on the other foot you would be there. Yes strokes suck for everyone in the whole family but you learn to adjust and go with the flow. Hang in there. Sally

thank you all fr the help and understanding. I had a long talk with my wife yesterday while watching a sunset from a mountain near our home (frederick md) and she made it very clear to me that when we married it was for everything and all and if i ever left to keep her from having to deal with all this she would hunt me down and chain me to her, gosh I loove that woman. going to contact my local american legion as they do help with some transportation to medical appts.

again thanks for listening

Oh I am sooo glad you talked to her and everything looks better now. Sounds like you have a spouse that is as loving and faithful as mine. My husband said the same thing, that he meant the vows we took, "for better or worse and in sickness and in health." We are so fortunate to have them aren't we? Take care.

that may be the one blessing ( only for some, of a stroke or health care crisis) the love and commitment for many shines through.. for the rest it is very sad and i wished it would be different. but for the blessed few who get to truley know-- they are together for the long haul it is a blessing.... nancyl