Hi everyone:

Tomorrow is the 6^th anniversary of my brainstem stroke. A friend of mine’s husband died last week and it opened up my grieving both for my stroke and for Jerry’s death and other issues I haven’t closed or finished since he died in Oct. For years, there were 6 girlfriends who got together every Tues. for lunch. We also used to get together with our spouses on N. Y. eve to go out for a nice dinner. One of the girl’s husbands died about 10 years ago, another died 3 ½ years ago, Jerry died last Oct. and now Mike just passed. Emotionally, I was a wreck over the weekend and needed time to process all of it.

I still have some of Jerry’s clothes to give away (amazingly that is mostly done). When I had my stroke, Jerry was at a loss of what to do since I took care of all finances, so I put together a notebook with names, phone numbers and instructions, from insurance, doctors, bills to pay, our attorney, accountant and financial contacts. After Jerry died, I realized this needed changed for only information. I still have to complete it and also need to update my will and personal representative because it had been Jerry’s sister. It’s hard for me because my two sisters live in MI and KY. I have a close friend her but I need to set up some suggestions for her like who would handle an estate sale in case of death, etc. I hate addressing all that.

On a positive note, I had filed for widow’s benefit from social security but still needed to obtain some paperwork. It took 5 months to get it all but I finally did and mailed it off yesterday. It will be worth the work because it will give me some additional income. On top of all this, I got called for jury duty!! They sent back my medical excuse signed by my licensed caregiver but sent it back to me saying it needed signed by an M.D. Today I had an appt with my neurologist and he signed and faxed the form so I should now be off the hook.

I hope I won’t have any more surprises ahead of me. Last week after my pulmonologist appt my caregiver and I went and ordered a new recliner for the living room. The cat did a job the last few years using it as a scratching post. I need to do the same eventually with the family room sofa and love seat in the bedroom.

After my appt today, we went to another furniture store to look at sizes and colors. The quality is pretty good and the prices are excellent. Right now they are having a sale but I wasn’t ready to order.

I’ve still been working out 2x/week and usually have a dr. appt once a week too although I think after today I’ll be pretty caught up. There are times I want to quit but know I can’t. I miss Jerry SO much and life just isn’t fun any more even though my caregivers are very nice. But I don’t want to go anywhere..It’s too hard. I’m still knitting and reading and praying daily to get my spirits up. I better stop before I cry all over my keyboard. So I better post it now.

Hugs and thoughts to all, Leah :thumbsu: