Hello again..
It's been sometime. I apologize. But sadly as it is when a stroke comes. IT IS WHAT IT IS. That's neither here nor there. ANYWAYS>>>>>>>>>>>
Ever since my stroke I've seen a bunch of doctors and some just gave me a singular point of view mainly. I went to go a new neuro, who was highly recommend to me from another regarded survivor. SO.....
He looked at all my charts and read them all and gave me a an over all summary. Concerning my memories. Considering the brain-stem is a tricky kind if animal in itself, his opinion was that uncomfortable as it seems... I may have to just except that huge chunks of my memory is gone past and present.
Now why would I just throw up my hands and forfeit?
I'm not per say. Just that I have to except that fact that the brain stem is a major hub for my brain and things that may happen in there can radiate throughout my brain that perhaps I have more brain damage then once thought. This was not a doctor with the case so he had nothing to gain from this. My type of stroke didn't happen in the 'norm' way of strokes so no one really has an answer
. Is there such a thing as a normal stroke?
No. Many doctors and such are educated in the different types of stroke. ( i.e High blood pressure, heart,smoking)
When it comes to one such as mine as well as others out there, its hard to make judgments for recovery for it's really not known how exactly the brain stem repairs.
The majority of BSS is either paralysis and /or in a wheelchair. I skipped those two outcomes but not I have different problems for it effected my cerebellum.
So the main fact is regarding my memory. It appears to be getting worse. I have recently looked at him when he was returning from work and really stared at him for I almost didn't recognize him.
Wed just had a discussion last night regarding that. I 'know' we are married but I feel no emotional attachment to him. Strange. Its tough to build new memories when I can not remember what happen a couple of days ago without a lot of prompting. It's tough to articulate what I mean. I don't have the memories personally of this but somewhere in my brain they are there... I have the luxury of having some knowledge of strokes and my family are all in the medical field so they get it as well. My husband...not so much.. and it very closed off to some degree. He has been by my side and is very supportive of me 100%. Just I need support on an intimate level. Nothing sexual but just reassurance. As many of you, you;re body has changed and you're self esteem may not be on point. We hug and kiss but its the feeling of being 'wanted' ( get me?)
He knows I'm going through Cognitive therapy. He thinks that once I complete therapy all my emotions will be back. Well what if it doesn't?
In a regard he is in denial for he doesn't know. ..You have to go back to his family life. The men fixed everything. ((Long story))
There is my speech.... I feel better. I really missed it here.
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