When it hits so close to home.
I went to my second cousin’s funeral yesterday who passed from a heart attack I guess, not really sure, didn’t get all the details. I really didn’t want to go because not sure if I could handle that because the whole experience is so close to home.
So I’m having one of my shutdown days and stuck in my room. I don’t even want to talk to anybody about it because they will all think that I’m taking it too personal and it wasn’t me. And I really don’t have anybody that I can talk to anyway that understands so I’d rather talk to you all than my own family and friends. A shame is all I can say but it is what it is. And I now realize that this stroke thing really messes with my emotions because I wouldn’t have felt this way before.
Now is when I wish I could go for a drive and just get away for a moment but since I can’t walking is the next best thing. So I’m going to pick myself up and take a nice long walk to get it all out and hopefully that helps.
I’ll be glad when I’m not so needy anymore and get the old Pam back, maybe that’s why people back away.
Pam
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