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Another year come and gone


MaryJo

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We are having a very uneventful day, which is good sometimes. Jeff took the holiday off so it's just me and Dan. The morning routine wears me out so very much. We were going to go to a movie today but Dan was just too tired. In all honesty, I was too tired too, so I was a little relieved that he decided not to go. He seems to be so tired lately. He's told me several times that he's tired of being tired.

 

Dan has an appointment Jan 23 with a surgeon about his impending surgery. I know it's something that needs to be done and it's been postponed as long as possible. I've always feared that if he went in for this surgery that he'd not come home again. I don't know what the new year brings, none of us do. I just know that we're both tired all of the time. Dan just doesn't seem to enjoy much of anything anymore. Well, except for eating! Food seems to have become the only thing he does enjoy.

 

I read Sue's blog about coping with the death of Ray and her Mum and I wonder how she does it. I wonder how I will do it when the time comes. I know that I will miss Dan with all of my heart. I will miss the sound of the constant TV, his snoring, in general, just having him here. It's hard sometimes to remember the good times because it makes me so sad.

 

I hear the King calling. I'm going to make some popcorn, Dan will watch football, and I'll take ornaments off the tree. These are things we've done for 25 years on New Years Day. At least not everything has changed!

 

Two weeks from today I'll be headed to sunny St. Petersburg, Florida! Woooo Hooo!!

 

Happy New Year to all of my StrokeNet friends. May you have a happy, healthy, hopeful new year.

 

Mary Jo

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Mary Jo,

 

I wish I had my secrets written down to follow for you and Dan but I don't!! I guess it's mainly because Dan is still short on recovery time and I'm on 9 years!!

 

I go and do what I want and go where I need to go driving myself so I really think for any stroke survivor those are the days we long to have then our time is complete knowing the wife will be coming home after work!!!

 

I guess I find so many things to do or places to go like Walmart, the post office, where I retired from and still know some of the people in there and of course the bowling center where I operated my Pro Shop until the stroke in 2004!!!

 

I just don't get bored and never have as all my so called friends departed from me after my 5 month stay in the hospital!! You would think they were afraid I would cause them to have a stroke

 

Enjoy your up coming trip to Florida we will see you later!! Happy new year to you and Dan!!

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MaryJo, you just do what you have to so when the time comes. Don't worry about the future live in the present and put as much joy into your day as you can.

 

Sue.

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Our New Year's holiday was low key as well. Like you, that is okay with me. However, I learned of a death of a friend's son on the Saturday before New Year's and that kept me pretty sad through the weekend. Good that I had no expectations of merriment.

 

I have forgotten what surgery Dan is preparing for but I can certainly relate to the foreboding sense you have. I get that whenever any major diagnostic test is given and certainly would worry about a surgery too. Not that our worry means there really is a greater risk; it's just that our loved ones seem so fragile as it is and any unusual thing seems scary.

 

Enjoy your time in Florida and let the sun shine on you every day. Sue's right. We need to focus on today and make the most joy possible in it.

 

I have to tell you a story. About a year ago, I was able to spend a few days at a friend's condo on a lake in Michigan. Some mutual friends joined us for a few days and then she let me stay on for another couple of days alone. It was such an amazing gift that provided me with a lot of renewal. When I talked to my friends, I heard myself anticipating the worst and saw that I was living in that reality more than the present time. During my alone time, I started to reflect on what I could do for Lauren that would make a difference. The thing that came to me very strongly was that I could make him laugh every day. I came home from that time determined that he would laugh every day and, if I was putting him to bed at night and hadn't had that laugh, I would do something stupid to make him chuckle. There is so much we can't control in the recovery of our loved one, but we sure can help them laugh. That kind of focus really changed my attitude for a long time. I've lost track of doing that in recent months but I'm going to pick it back up as a goal for every day. Break it down to the simple things and the great big things don't seem quite so big! ~~Donna

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