I haven't stopped to relax at all this winter!
Partly my fault, since I was determined to finally finish the interior painting job I started on my house three years ago; warm weather/outdoor maintenance is right around the corner (I know because my crocuses are already coming up)! Never had enough time, before or after the stroke, to just plow ahead and finish, only dribs and drabs which is my usual MO. Finally this week, I did the last room; my office, which I wasn't even going to bother with, but I was so happy with the vibrancy of the other rooms I couldn't stop myself. Now I'm full steam ahead with deep cleaning the entire house for our Mardi Gras party Wednesday, for once I'm getting that done early so I can concentrate on food shopping and cooking Monday and Tuesday. That's the part of entertaining I like, I'm looking forward to spending some quality time in the kitchen. I'm having two people I've never even met as guests, plus the other couple who are relatively new acquaintances, but they are very comfortable, fun people so I am not worried in the least. Well, except a tiny bit about Ray, but he's been a trooper so far whenever we have big events to handle. The funny thing is, everyone seems to thinks it's amazing all I get done while taking care of Ray, but I know deep down inside it's mostly nervous energy; I have to keep moving or I'll start thinking about things a little too much for my own good. After this party, the next big thing will be a trip into Queens for our friend's St Paddys Day party, and all I have to do is bring a cake.
So today, Superbowl Sunday: Ray's second anniversary. His stroke was actually on the 6th but the game will always bring it back for me. Wednesday will be the actual anniversary so we can celebrate in style with our guests. Today I'm already having a few flashbacks despite my plans not to do so, hopefully by the time the game starts I can put it out of my mind.
Since last I wrote: Pat our angel/aide left the agency and we have no one coming any more. Unless you count the nurse and the useless social worker. Nobody even called to tell us, par for the course. If the last time this happened is any guide, they won't send anyone new and I'll have to call the state's 800 hotline to complain, which is weeks in the future for me. Good thing I never went out to look for a part time job, I hate being unreliable. I just started Ray back to PT and ST once a week (only 10 of each with Medicare so might as well stretch it out). I have got him there on time two weeks in a row, although I do have to put up with him yelling NONONONONO when I try to wake him up. He's better than me at knowing what day it is! He is doing very nicely so far, like he never stopped, and that makes me feel a little better about things. No OT, and here's a funny thing: now that we've returned, we are hailed more as old friends than patients. So we're alone in the PT room, and Bill the therapist says, in a leading way, so are you going to go back to OT (which we can get 20 weeks separately). I said no, she was a great therapist but a total flake with the appt times and I am not going to go through the trouble to get Ray here just to find she "forgot" we were coming. So he says, yeah she's great but no one here can stand how she schedules; she changes everyone all the time without asking the therapists who already have that time slot, she's not a team player. Good to know, I just assumed she hated us for some reason. What a waste!! Too bad there's so few OTs out there.
As far as his depression, it's coming and going which is a little better than the constant spiraling gloom it used to be in the old days. Hopefully this means the med changes were the right ones. We did have to do an emergency psych visit a couple of weeks ago, I scheduled on Friday for first thing Monday but by the time we got there he was OK, rather than saying he wanted to go to the hospital every ten minutes and crying. It was about two and a half weeks after the slight med changes so maybe just withdrawal? He didn't take Ray off slowly, just stopped. We saw his nurse practitioner that day; we still see the doctor on the 13th as scheduled, and then me, their social worker afterwards. We went to our PCP Weds, and when I told him that the psychiatrist doesn't like Dilantin and would prefer Depakote, and that the neurologist (politely) agreed, I think he got a little annoyed at the meddling. I told him that they had lowered his Zoloft from 2 to 1.5 but the way Ray is I hadn't made the adjustment yet, and he crossed it out on my list and changed it back to two, like it was revenge. He even brought up how he was in charge...he's the sweetest guy in the world but guess he has his limits! Good to know he cares.
Ray had his first seizure in six months last Sunday, I had noticed some strong shaking of his good arm and then his good leg during the days before. He gets intense tremors on his bad side but that's normal for him lately, this good side shaking was puzzling. The doctor that is setting up the in-home tests also used to be his Botox doctor, wonder if he's going to try to talk us into it again, I'm sure it will come up. Ray can't tell me why, but he is adamently against getting any more Botox. Anyway he had his usual three minute seizure, then we saw the doctor three days later for a scheduled appt and the tests we had done the week before said the dilantin levels were perfect. So no changes, just wait and see. Have to go back in a month, sigh. At least it gets us out of the house.
My flu is finally gone, including most of the bronchitis, and the good part is I lost about 10 lbs (yay, only 20 more to go!) Last doctor visit he said I was pre-diabetic (!!!) but apparently just losing a bit of weight cures that immediately. I was planning on my usual new year healthy diet, but what's really helping keep it off is, when Ray doesn't want to eat, I don't put out three different main dishes to tempt him anymore. He can just eat some cake later if that's what he wants. He does eat normal food at least once a day, his bloodwork keeps coming back better than mine so I give up, it's obviously not killing him. I am so tired of fighting with him about dinner, I never used to throw food away and will never get used to it. It ended up a fight every night, which is the last thing we need. So now I'm happy, and a tiny bit thinner too! I can eat what I want, or even skip dinner if I'm not hungry. The old Ray would have never allowed that!
The MRI that the psych ordered for Ray came back clean, nothing new since the stroke, which makes me feel more comfortable about his depression. He didn't get the blues the last two years, I am sure due to the stroke, so when it reared its ugly head this year I was afraid something else might be going on. Not so, I am glad to report. Just Ray being Ray, which is probably a good sign in the end.
3 Comments
Recommended Comments