I won't sleep much tonight. It is 8:45 pm and the winds have started really kicking up. It has been snowing since 7:45 am - steady all day and we have about 9 inches on the ground. Peak storm time is now until about 2 am. And I just pray for no power loss. I am thinking of Colleen - Stingray67 - on Long Island. They are getting pounded. Long Island is part of New York, but sits right off the Connecticut shoreline, so they are kind of a storm breaker for most of the Connecticut shoreline.

Right before Bruce was diagnosed with some new issues, we were working on cleaning out projects here. I was in an upswing. I get discouraged, disappointed or just the sorrow kicks in. I take some time off and then get going again. Bruce has a wonderful fringed suede jacket from his Rock and Roll days that he promised to a friend. She recently got engaged and it is time to pass it on - so off to the cleaners. His Dad was a Pinkerton guard, so working on donating Dad's Pinkerton stuff. Clothing donations. Little stuff. Gets us out and about and we move forward towards accepting what stroke has given us. Carl is moving into a new apartment and can use some of the furniture that is stored in the attic. And am catagorizing Bruce's musical equipment. His best friend is going to be looking into that for us.

Obviously the new medical issues with Bruce and Kira's medical issues, the projects have slowed. But am sitting here tonight with my post its and reworking my lists. That is definitely a plus. I get lists taped up with half the stuff crossed off, forget to read what is left on them. Also it will relieve some of the stress of the overnight. Almost like New Years Resolutions. When the bathroom was redone, we got new fixtures, of course. The towel holder fell off a bit back and needs a new little screw. This is the sink Bruce uses all the time. So again, if it is not on the list, I notice it but usually when getting Bruce dressed and me trying to get off to work. Things like that, get it added to the list.

Like most of us caregivers, I always have an eye to the weather - especially in New England in winter. We got out last weekend-weather was relatively warm. But it turned colder and with the storm predicted, I knew Bruce had to get out. Thursday I developed a migraine at work. I lose vision for an hour or so, then the headache. With me it is not light, it is noise. I am in an office with 4 other people on a normal day. Thursday we also had two consultants and the dietitian. I could not deal with much when I got home. After Bruce's lunch and nap, I fell asleep on the couch. Carl came about 5pm and asked "did you sleep there all day?" We had a great laugh about that. So Friday I had to get Bruce out. We picked up some Diabetic supplies. We did not need anything really, but Bruce loves the grocery store, so after errands, we headed there. I think every woman in town sent her husband to pick up supplies - LOL. And every guy there had a snow shovel in his cart. LOL. This is also when Bruce and I would have gone out for an early dinner - but that has been put on a back burner until we get this Diabetes under control and are comfortable with the meals. We are getting there.

I am a bit sad in that throughout our conversations, Bruce said to me "you have to do this or I will croak." I have been so upbeat about this. I vent here and take my time outs when needed. But he senses it and also he is afraid. I explained at length to him today about how lucky we were. All issues were found early and dealt with. There were no 911s, no seizures. I explained that he could have had a hospital stay and been back in a SNF, so it was truly a blessing.

Tomorrow he is going to be in the kitchen: Blueberry muffins and pancakes. Bruce's Mom was a wonderful baker and she used that when she was diagnosed with Diabetes. I am not a baker. Even two year olds and dogs won't eat my cookies - LOL. So we have a morning planned with Bruce supervising Ethel learning to bake. Our snow removal team called this morning and I advised that we were not a priority so also have showers on board and some menu planning for the week. Even if we are plowed out I won't risk taking Bruce down the ramp unless it is totally cleared.

So there is a positive to this weather - really it is beautiful to watch. I remember the days pre-stroke, when both of us would just get out and take care of it, but being able to just sit with some hot tea and enjoy the true beauty of Mother Nature. And I do so miss that. Another thing that stroke takes from us.

It is funny - Bruce asleep in bed, Kira asleep next to me. Both so sure I have this under control! Debbie