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my nephew




well, i have posted on the board about the terrible loss my family has endured this past week, so i won't go into it again. i just want to know, how do i deal with the hatred and bitterness i feel towards the guy who murdered 2 wonderful men. i know he was mentally ill, but to me right now, it makes no difference.

i guess i feel like the families in the 911 attack. so many were murdered and the families who lost a loved one had to feel some bitterness. i know bad things happen to good people.but this has just devastated me and my family. chris's loss i'm sure is felt by hundreds of people,a veteran trying to help another veteran and our chad was there to help. it's been said by the media that the murderer felt that these 2 men were after him and he had to kill them before they killed him,PTSD thoughts i'm sure.

chris was an experienced PTSD counselor for the veterans to adjust back to civilian life after fighting in a war. i don't know much about the disorder, fred could help me out there i'm sure. chris had been through 4 tours of duty in iraq, coming home alive and was an american hero. he was the best and most lethal sniper in the world, saving many soldiers from insurgent attacks. able to hit his targets as far as 21 football fields away. his memorial is today at cowboy stadium, which is to be televised here. my sister and her husband and chad's wife will be there for chris's family, as she was for us. i can't stop thinking about this, i wake up each day, knowing chad is gone, its the same i felt when my husband died. maybe i just need more time and this hate and bitterness will go away. i don't mean to whine, i have to stop dwelling on this, its just so hard. i hope our government will take notice that our vets need more help. but since vietnam, so many have received no help, so why do i think now that things will change.



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I think somehow in someway you have to ask God to let and allow you to forgive as God does so many times for each of us that asked Him. Holding it in your heart does you no good in the times ahead of you.


It's very hard when you lose a loved one no matter how and when it still feels senseless it's even harder to bare it alone.


Our vets does need all the help they can get and it's not getting any better and now they want to pay them even less in the next raise in pay for them. I retired in '79 finally was compensated in 2010, long wait huh! they still owe me back pay I may never get.

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Right now in this early stage of your grief and trauma, you may not be able to ask God's help and may in fact be angry at God too. After a particularly senseless time in my life, I hated God too.


There was really no way for me to "just get over it" and all the pretty cliches just made me more angry. If there is any good news it is that you WILL get through this. It won't be easy or quick but you will come through it and you're not alone.



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Kim: you look to the examples around you and search for what they found in finding some peace. Look to our Sandy Hook - so much money raised, so much awareness. All of that is a postive and if that is all these families have, it does bring them some sense of peace. And then honey, just forgiveness. Whatever your heart will allow.


I did extensive research after Columbine. Not that I had any connection mind you, just wanted to be able to get my head around it, so to speak. And the one thing I came away with was that the sane mind will never understand. You can educate, be aware but you are never prepared.


Know that I am thinking and praying for you and the family. Debbie

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I so sorry for your family's loss. You will find a way to wrap your head and heart around this in time. Try to stay strong for your family you all need each other now. Your family is in my prayers. Take care Sally

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