Hello John,   Mom sounds like she is a fighter and doing great.  She is walking 100fl with a walker that is wonderful.  It is good that you are getting a clss that teaches you on how to cope, and getting the house looked at. Look like you are really.  Even though you are going to be  the caregiver, made sure that you get time where you can do something for you. Are you an only child?  Maybe a neighbour, or an aide can come and just spend time with Mom , so you can get out and about.

Tell mom that the doctors said she needs  to stay, blame it on them!

Yvonne

Hi John, you didn't mention, does she have use of both hands?   Can she get up and down?   It sounds like she actually doing very well.    They are working with her in the rehab kitchen to see how she does?

Hi Yvonne,

I explain every day that the doctors have to evaluate her and approve when she is ready to go home. She just isn't buying it. She thinks I am a terrible son because I won't defy them and just take her home. Today she said I should just take her out the front door and go home. Sometimes she asks for her keys and wants to know where her car is parked so she can drive home.

The nurse called me one night last week and said that she was sitting in her wheelchair in the day room and suddenly said, "I'm going home." Then she attempted to stand up and almost fell. Fortunately, someone was nearby to stop her. On Friday night the nurse called me to say that she refused to take her medication and refused to go to bed. Since then I have been staying until after they bring her medication. If I am there, I can talk her into taking it.

John

i think there is a lot of people in a similar situation, wanting to go home and yet knowing that maybe that is not an option so family members are asked over and over.  Just reassure her - soon, as soon as you are stronger, when the doctor gives the go ahead etc.  It is better to put it on the doctor or the specialist so you can "blame" someone other than yourself.

Make sure you have a routine that will give you some time to yourself too, caregiving is hard work and time off and time out is scarce.  See if other members can be involved in training too so you have the option of time away from your Mom once you settle in together

Keep us updated with her progress.  Welcome to the Blog Community.  Blogging is a useful tool to track her progress and how you are settling in as a caregiver.  You can ask questions in the forums and come here  to vent when you need to (as you will).  We are here to help and support you.

Sue.

Hi Sandy,

Yes, Mom is doing pretty well physically. She has the use of her arms and legs. She gets up and down and walks with the walker. She does leg raises with ankle weights. I have been taking her to the toilet and she is doing great. At first, she was on the bedpan and being changed. Now she sits on the toilet and wipes herself. This is big progress as far as I'm concerned.

They haven't gotten to kitchen skills yet. One thing I didn't mention is that in the beginning she couldn't open her eyes. They were closed for about the first week. Finally she started opening them, but for only brief moments at a time. Now she opens her eyes for longer periods of time, but closes them to rest at other times. Her vision is blocked to the right. I took her to her Ophthalmologist on July 30. He said there is nothing wrong with her eyes and that it would improve over time. The rehab wants to get her an appointment with a neurological Ophthalmologist to get another opinion. Sometimes she overreaches for things because she doesn't have the proper depth perspective.

John

John: welcome to blogging. As Sue mentioned, great way to journal this recovery.

Mom is doing great and that is exactly why she is pushing to go home. But I will share something I learned early on in Nursing in a SNF. Our parents saw nursing homes as a place where people are "put" to spend out their final years. Subacute Rehab is a foreign concept to them. No one that they know ever came home and that just may be Mom's fear. Her anger is her way of getting that out.

I don't think it would be a bad idea to get a Neuro Opthalmologist on board. Be sure to bring her CT and MRI results with you.

Please do blog often and let us know how things are going. I am anxious to hear about her homecoming. And yes, you have to start and think about time off for you. Debbie

Debbie,

I think you are exactly right about my Mom's attitude about being in the rehab. She thinks she is never going home. We live only 2 miles from the rehab. We have driven by the place a million times. Whenever we would pass the rehab, she would say, "If you ever put me in there, I will disown you." I don't take her attitude personally. When I want to leave and she says I lied and tricked her, I'm a terrible son and don't love her, I just say I love you, Mom. See you tomorrow.

John

We didn't have a neuro opthal. person around here, but I did know that his vision is like this.   If you close one eye, that is not really bad, as the other eye has peripheal all around.    But if you keep that one eye closed, AND put your hand against your nose, you lose alot more vision.   What the eye doctor said is true, the eyes will be 20/20, just no vision on one side.   I didn't understsand why the vision wasn't better, since he has 2 eyes.   But it's not the eye at all.    It is the optical nerve that is damaged.   Some people do get more vision, and she is improving so quickly, she may be one of them.   BUT, some, like my husband, don't.   I did finally get a test made, the ophtalmologist could do it, and I found a low vision place that could, we had it, but it didn't change anything.   It just printed out what I already knew.