AJ: I am 25 years your junior and not a stroke survivor. Even before Bruce's stroke and the fact that I now am responsible for this house and Bruce, as well as myself; I would leave a Patient's room, go get my stethoscope and blood pressure cuff, go back to the Patient and forgot what I was concerned about - LOL. And before any of you jump right in - I always go back to the issue. My point being that I have had memory issues since I was a teenager. Maybe being the oldest of seven with a Dad who was only home on weekends. But I learned very early in life, if I don't have a list or my post its, I know I won't remember.

I still sleep with a pad and pen on my night table. I wake up and whatever the issue, I write it down. Because guaranteed in the morning, that thought, issue or errand would be gone.

Bruce worked very hard with his Speech Therapist to get his short term memory back up and running. And mostly he has succeeded. Do I think the remaining issues are stroke related or just age related?

On good days, work on small areas of the house, with your wife. It is time to clean out and simplify. You may find with organization that works for both of you and less "stuff" this may be more manageable or at least you will feel less stressed.

And just remember the huge strides you have made and continue to make in this recovery. Well done Mister!

I will tell you a funny story about me.    This is from many years ago, when I was in my 20s.    I would start reading a book, then forget about it and maybe a month later run over it again.    I opened the book and didn't recognize anything where my bookmark was.    So I thought I'd just scan backward till I found something that I remembered and start reading from there.    I got all the way to the beginning, without remembering one thing I'd previously read!   I told my sister about it, and she said, 'well, there's good news and bad news'.    I asked what and she replied:

The bad news is.... you can't remember a darn thing

The good news is... you only need one book!

I used to forget which class I had next, right before lunch.   My blood sugar going low was the reason.

Debbie, I can't sleep if I have something I'm trying to remember, writing it down means I can let go of it, knowing it will be there for me in the morning.

Seriously, Bob has white matter disease and the white matter is like this.    If you have a light switch and the electric fuse box.   Your fuse box sends the power so that when you flip the light switch it comes on - but it sends it THRU THE ELECTRICAL WIRING (think white matter).    Eventhough Bob didn't have high cholesterol, it was discovered that he had white matter disease after the stroke.    That is the only reason I let him take the cholesterol drug - to slow down any more deposits in his white matter, which willl turn into a form of alzheimers.

hey aj,  it is good to see pluses in ones minuses.  as far as reading books I thoroughly enjoy re reading some books.  each time thru I find I get something else out of it.  and sandy I did like the one book idea.

also sandy I'm not sure what you mean by "white matter disease". myself I think of the white matter deterioration evidenced on an mri image as a result of something called cerebral vascular disease as well as other monikers (SVI, SVVD) and when I am both lucky and alert I can sometimes put words with the letters(lol) but most often not.  more to the point for these diseases there are 3 medicines that can be prescribed, aspirin bp pill an statin pill.  and as far as I am aware there is both no evidence to indicate that any of these makes any difference in the course of the deterioration.  but this type of deterioration if continued will lead to something called vascular dementia and not Alzheimer's.

but in either case the outcome is kind of yucky.  and in fact thinking that the medicines one takes WILL affect the outcome allows a chance for the placebo effect. life may be kind of funny that way.

take care all

david

White matter disease is the shortcut of everything else you used to describe it.   I didn't make it up because of loss of understanding, it is used by doctors - you can google it.    It is caused from fat deposits in the small arteries in the white matter.   Hence, taking statin is an effort to stop fat deposit build up in the white matter.     I believe I've read that Alzheimer's can actually be caused by different brain problems, and this was one.   Here is a small reference I just found:

Changes in white matter known as amyloid plaques are associated with Alzheimer's disease and other neurodegenerative diseases

 Your words "our minds become cluttered with a lot of garbage of little significance. So, perhaps our memory loss is just a kind of spring cleaning!" are beautiful. What a profound perspective. It can be unsettling to find our minds are not the absolute and reliable things we have always believed are permanent and solid. But it sounds like the most important thing is still there for you. I like the thought that in a way we get a second chance to redecorate our minds and lives. I am inspired by all you write especially the piece about our minds as sand paintings blown away by winds. Yes, it is funny how I hold onto experiences and memories and even thoughts as if they are stone when in reality they are sand. Thank you for holding up a mirror to a different way to view things.

I am amazed and inspired that you deal with your own and your spouse's challenges and press on too. And excuse me for saying but you Go for being 87 and on a blog on the computer because you just blow the stereotype of people of a certain age right out of the water. I hope you don't mind my saying so and when I start to get into my poor me agism stuff I am going to remember that age is unimportant and doesn't define me or anyone else. I hope you know how meaningful your blog is to me and probably to others. Thank you for your wisdom and heart.