John, I can certainly relate to being nervous about your Mom coming home.  I was really nervous at first and worked way too hard to make life as pleasant and stress free as possible for my husband.  In fact I worked way too hard. I did everything for him thus tiring myself out way too much. I got sick for a bit, but then after finding this site and reading, reading, reading all of the information and blogs and new stories, I am learning to stand  back a little and allow Ray to learn to somewhat take a little care of himself.  You will be okay, as you are very aware of what you want good for her. She will love being home, I am sure.  Take one day at a time and you will find out what is going to work, and what is not. Good luck on this journey.

Judy

Did they do the home eval or not?   What foods/diet are they sending her home on?  Be sure you have enough for your own food too, and toilet paper, kleenex, paperg towels.  Make sure you know for sure if she is completely in control of bladder/bowels, including at night.   You need to be sure so you can have the things if you need them.

Yea, it is frantic, Bob was step above a vegetable when he came home and they didn't give me ANY info until the day before he was released.   Keep us posted.

John, I certainly understand. I am a "ducks in a row" type person - LOL. Your pharmacy may even offer to deliver - most do for regular customers. But plan on picking up on the way home.

You know what she can eat, what is best for her. You get on the phone with the people who offered and get some meals in. Get to the bank tomorrow for some cash on hand - you won't need much and whatever food you need. Take the day to get ready for her home-coming. You have done all the teaching and know the ropes.

Biggest issue will be safety. Remember you will have OT, PT and Speech, a nurse once a week and hopefully an aide every day. That home has to be safe for everyone. Store whatever is not needed in rooms you will not be using or in the basement. You can always bring it out in time.

Consider if she gets a bit off balance and puts her hand on a table with knick-knacks, those are going over and really is the table study enough to balance her, or is that going over as well - along with Mom. Will she catch her feet on area rugs - get rid of them. Even a bath mat. Do a walk through from BR to Bedroom to Kitchen to where she will spend most of the day. Consider yourself with a walker - clean paths. Best to start off with the bare necessities and add later than wait until it is obvious something is a hazard.

She will be tired on Tuesday, so plan on light lunch, nap. Some reading or TV until dinner and early bed. Wednesday morning you start with coffee, newspaper and breakfast and then do a walk through with Mom. Let her figure out what she needs in the kitchen to function, then to her sitting area - side table, lamp, TV remote and the bedroom; in and out of the bed, will she need bedrails to help her in and out.

I have bed rails on our bed - Medical supply store. In the early years I had to have them up - Bruce was so impulsive and unless I knew he could not get out of bed himself, I could sleep. Now I leave them in the down position because he uses it to boost him into a sitting position and then leverage to stand to transfer to the WC. So you work some of that stuff out and yes, it will certainly change as Mom recovers, but for right now safety and comfort first.

I am so excited for both of you John. Homecoming is anxious but also such a joyous time. Finally live on the family schedule, in the family home - she is not one of however many - she is number one and the only one. And for you, you are going to love one manageable area, no running back and forth. And a perfect time of year - you will be getting out, sitting outside. Good Fall season to heal and enjoy. And then the holidays at home.

Please do check in and let us know when you can. Debbie

Oh, I forgot to say that the 2 times we had hospitalization (hubby & mom) they did not give the rx until it was time to release and told you to go to the hospital pharmacy.    I suppose you COULD insist they give them the day before and go to the pharmacy with her insurance/medicare cards.  

Mom and I have been very close. We have spent time together every day for the past 18 years. At this point I probably know her better than she knows herself. I have been very involved since day 1. I have had the family training and I have taken her to the toilet for the past month. I know what she likes to eat and drink, what she likes to wear, and sleeping habits. I have checked all the areas in the house where she would go, as far as using a walker and getting around. I have done it physically and in my mind many times. I have run the scene coming home from the car to the house many times in my mind. I am about as ready as I can be.

There was no home eval. Once the insurance company said she should go home, the rehab dropped the issue and prepared for her discharge.

John

John :

good luck I know at first it feels overwhelming to be able to take care of so many things. BTW make sure you have routine once she is home, that will make life easier for both of you, it reduces anxiety, and once you do same thing over ad over again. It becomes easier. Also once she is home just go with flow not everything will go according to plan, but by relaxing & going with flow it will be easier for both of you

Asha

John, I admire your attention to your mom in trying to help her in these trying times and it sounds like you got it all under control. I hope all goes as planned and being in her surroundings will give her a much better feeling than being where she was for so long, it was probably time for her to go home!!

You seem to have everything under control much better than I ever could being in the same set of circumstances!! My hat off to you big guy! I have to say my wife did the same thing for me when I came home 10 years ago unable to walk and her having to push me all around in a wheelchair at 200 pounds!!

I can't remember if I told you this already, but I got Bob a bed rail at Walmart.   It has a strap that goes around the mattress, but it was unneccesary, because once you shove the poles under the mattress, it isn't going anywhere.   Ours are not the kind that keep someone in bed, they are just rails that you can use to pull up, stand, etc.    I liked his so much I got one for my side.   There is a little height issue that you'd think they'd be smart enough to make one more hole, but in all, it doesn't matter, works anyway.    It's up beside the pillow, and when he pulls up and swings around to sit, it is out of the way and great for standing assitance:

Hi John, just wanted to wish you well, with Mom coming home.  I am sure it go  fine, it will not be perfect, but that is okay, life is not perfect.  

You take care

Yvonne

Mom came home without a glitch. It will take some adjusting to the new surroundings. She has been eating and sleeping good. Today the speech therapist saw her, and this afternoon she will be visited by the physical therapist and visiting nurse.

John

Please  everything went well. Keep in touch letting us know how it goes.

Yvonne

Yesterday and last night Mom wanted to be wheeled around the house on the wheelchair. I hoped she didn't want to continue this because she would lose the muscle tone she worked for in PT at the rehab. This afternoon she started walking around the house with the walker unassisted. She continues to amaze me. I moved a bedroom dresser and removed the bathroom door to make it easier.

John

john :

thats great news. remind mom more she walks it will be easier on every one including herself & you. More she walks its easier to take her outside of home. keep that as goal

Asha

John - happy to hear your mom is doing so well.  Keep encouraging her.  

She is lucky to have you.  

Best wishes to you both,

Julie

John, I'm new to this forum but when I read your postings about your mom I readily identified with much of what you said. I am a caregiver too but the person for whom I care is my wife, who is 20 years younger than your mom and who had an ischemic stroke in early October of 2013. We've been back in our own home for several months and for what it's worth I thought you might want to know about some of the things we've learned and adjustments we've made and gadgets we have purchased as we have waded deeper into the recovery process..

First, my wife is doing far better than I intially expected. As it turns out she is not forever confined to a wheelchair and she can actually get around pretty well with no more assistance than her leg brace and quad cane. Fact is, she rarely uses either of her two wheelchairs these days. Her mind is only slightly dinged and her speech is fine but her left arm doesn't function at all and her left leg is significantly impaired. She now eats and drinks whatever she wishes so she no longer must endure thickened beverages and finely ground solids.

Before we even got back into our home, we had a company that modifies houses for the handicapped install very nice handrails on each side of the gentle stairs leading from our garage into the first floor of our house. As it turns out, Dorothy can use those stairs quite well. For the longer stairway leading from our first floor to the second (where all of our bedrooms are located) we installed a chair lift. 

We bought three quad canes for Dorothy to use so that she could always have one readily available anytime she reaches a new floor. When she enters a staircase she leaves whatever cane has been using, goes up or down the stairs, and grabs the cane waiting on the next floor, at the other end of the stairs. It is a simple, inexpensive tweak but one that works really well. No longer do we have to bring a cane up or down a stairway when Dorothy is on the move. 

We also bought a bed cane and a couch cane, both of which are marvelously useful to her. The bed cane is attached to a wide board that goes between the box spring and mattress and allows her to steady herself or pull herself up when she gets in and out of the bed. The couch cane works much the same in that her chair (yes, it works on chairs too) stands on the base to which the handle is attached and she can use it to help get up and down. There's even a pouch for her remote and phone.

We also replaced our old box springs with a low-profile version thus lowering our bed by about five inches. That was very helpful to my wife, especially when getting into bed.

Rather than use the low bedside potty that the rehab hospital sent home with her, we bought a transport chair that also has a potty component. It is taller and much easier and safer for her to use in the grogginess of the wee hours. We also use it to take her to the bathroom in which she bathes but first we had to buy special hinges that added 2 and a half inches to the width of the bathroom door. Those hinges are really quite clever so before you go widening any doors you might want to look into them.

Another device we bought was an air cast, which we use to exercise her arm in hopes of increasing range of motion. We discovered it thanks to an occupational therapist that once worked with her.

On a more expensive level we also purchased an FDA-approved functional electrical stimulation device that is designed to help rejuvenate her bad arm over time. There are no guarantees and insurance doesn't cover it so we took a $6,600 gamble. Thought it is still too early to know if it will wind up restoring some or all of her arm's function, it already has made her arm far healthier by opening and closing her hand and thus making her fingers softer and straighter. They had been extremely gnarled and atrophy was setting in. Also, she no longer has pain in that arm and hand.

Some very useful and far less expensive gadgets we bought were toilet seat "risers" that made our toilets three inches taller. These risers go under the regular toilet seat and are very easy to install. We already had tall toilets but now we have REALLY tall ones. This allows my wife to get on and off the toilet entirely on her own if needed. We also had pull-down metal grab bars installed on the right side of the two toilets she uses and they have helped immensely.

I guess what I'm trying to say, John, is that like you I've been forever on the lookout for anything and everything that can help my wife adjust. She has always been a very independent gal and though we have grown close during our 48 years of marriage it is not easy for her to depend so heavily on me. Every little tweak we've made that has given her more independence has given her spirits a huge boost. In some cases it has also made my own efforts easier. I'm healthy and in pretty decent physical shape but I am also 70 now.

You mentioned your mom's cognitive losses. Although my wife is less damaged in that area, her in-home recovery efforts include playing the mental game Saduko regularly and reading a lot on her Kindle. Just today she proudly announced that she had been able to win two Saduko games for the first time since her stroke. The take-away here is that cognitive damage can lessen over time and often does, so don't give up hope. Just keep stimulating your mom's mind as best you can, which you seem to be doing already.

In deference to the no commercialization nature of this forum I have deliberately avoided naming any specific products in this posting but if you want to somehow contact me privately I'll be happy to supply names, prices, etc. Of course what worked for my wife might not work for you. I'm a retired newspaperman so I'm a bit of an information junkie, sometimes to a fault.

Good luck with caring for your mom. As others have noted here, she is lucky to have you.