Debby: welcome. So glad you have found the wonderful world of blogging. This is a great way to journal stroke recovery. Stroke recover is so slow it is often frustrating not to see progress. But with blogging, you can look back over time and see "yes" there has been recovery.

Dad was not definitely diagnosed with stroke, however he obviously suffered a brain injury of some sort. Certainly blockage of the arteries is considered stroke.

With any brain injury, it can take up to 6 months for the swelling in the brain to resolve. You must allow this time, so settle in for a long haul. As the brain recovers; swelling goes down, tissue has space to redefinite itself in, there are going to be many days where Dad will do great and days when he just needs rest.

Please allow time for rest and sleep - encourage naps. The brain heals best with sleep - rebooting, so to speak. And I am figuring that you have already taken Dad for a checkup with his PCP, Cardio for a Pacer check and a follow up appointment with his new Neurologist.

Once the medical stuff is taken care of, consider asking his PCP for an antidepressant. Dad's whole life just changed. Yes he is confused and probably frightened. He needs time to adjust to what just happened and what it has done to him. And again, that can change daily until he gets over the actual brain recovery. Only then will you all be able to determine the long term affects of the stroke and the adjustments that need to be made.

Stroke recovery is dynamic, that is for sure. Encourage good nutrition, hydration, a good medication routine that maintains the same schedule every day, lots of rest and sleep, naps and some fresh air daily. Encourage him to walk and function as best he can.

Please do come often and share this recovery with us. Consider our Caregiver Chats on Tuesday evenings, 8pm EST. Again, Welcome. Debbie, caregiver to husband Bruce, stroke March 2009

Thank you so much for the information. I have had to move both parents because my mom is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. On his good days he wants to go home and thinks he can drive. Since they live 90 miles away from me and I am an only child, that is not an option at this time. I have hired an aide to stay during the day. I go every afternoon after work Give meds n cook supper. I have been working with him on easy word find books. We have been getting him to walk. He has gone to church with me the last two Sunday's. Yesterday he had several potty accidents which concerned me. Today he was great. The stroke did not affect him physically just mentally. I have been trying to work on his cognitive thinking skills specifically about safety. I am open to any suggestions. I have no experience with stroke victims.

Debby, welcome, and you are a wonderful daughter.  I had a stroke, and physical I am okay but I have problems with my thinking, focus, skills.  Every thing Debbie said was correct.  I know that I need rest, eating correct and  getting fresh air helped me.  Also I need routine,  a bus comes for me on Tuesday and Friday's , I go to a center, play bingo and do Keep fit class.  I so love forward going that it had cheer me up no end.  I also go walking, I am bless that I can walk on my own, but noticed that   I do get tired, some days more then others.   

You are doing wonderful,  caregiver Is a tough job.  Some time you will want to scream,  come on stroke net and vent.

Take care, you and the family are in my prayers

Yvonne

I am going to blog our journey in hopes it will help someone else. I got a call at 9:15pm 9/4/14 from my mom saying my dad was having a heart attack. My mom has alzheimers so I started asking questions. She told me he was throwing up blood and had called 911. The ambulance took him to white county hospital which is about 45 miles from me. Daddy was saying he thought he was okay when they arrived at the hospital. I started getting very concerned when he would try to say something and then would get a blank look on his face and say he was having a senior moment. He then would try to talk and move his mouth but nothing would come out. I got the nurse who got the doctor. They did a ct scan but did not find a problem. I stayed up all night with daddy in the dr. He finally got in a room at 5:00am 9/5. I left my boss a message that I would not be into work that day. I liked the hospitalist we wound up with. He diagnosed daddy with encephalopathy, low sodium and pneumonia. He was not 100% sure he had not had a stroke. They do not have a neurologist on staff at white county. On 9/5 the roller coaster started. Daddy was using the bathroom all over himself he would try to get out of bed which was not allowed because he was a fall risk. He was talking out of his head. The doctor felt like daddy had some dementia and the low sodium and pneumonia caused him to go into full blown dementia. I did not buy this theory. I just spent the past weekend with him and he was fine. By Sunday 99/7 he was a tad bit better but kept saying the same stuff over and over. It was almost like he was talking about work stuff n hasn't worked in 20 years. He had a ton of visitors which he knew most of them but talked completely out of his head. He was not able to feed himself and vomited once a day. On Sunday I started insisting I wanted him transferred to big baptist in little rock where they have a neurologist on staff. I went as far as to contact baptist and try to transfer him that way. Baptist said they could not take him without the hospitalist at white county agreeing to the transfer. On Monday 9/8 we got a different hospitalist because the original one went on vacation. This doctor had a chip on his shoulder and told me in no uncertain terms that my dad did not have a stroke and he was going to let him go home in the care of my mom. I asked him to step out of the room and told him my mom has alzheimers and can't drive. I explained I am an only child and they live 90 miles away from me. I told the nurses station I did not want that doctor to see my dad again. On 9/9 my dad was released to white county rehab. He still was unable to walk without assistance and unable to feed himself. There had been no improvement with the incontinence. I got a call on 9/10 that white county rehab disagreed with the diagnosis of white county hospital and felt my dad had suffered a stroke. They began the process of transferring him to big baptist in little rock. They continued to work with him for speech, it and physical therapy. I definitely saw improvement. He still talked out of his head but at least some stuff made since. Daddy was transferred to big baptist on 9/12. The ct scan once again did not show anything. They determined a stroke because he had 50% blockage in his neck arteries. He was released back to white county rehab on 9/14. An ambulance took daddy and I took mama n all the stuff. Everything seemed fine so I visited s bit and left for home. I was within 5 miles of home when my mom called and said my dad said he was not staying and wanted to go home. I tried talking to him and he was determined he could not do the therapy. I called his baby sister n she tried talking to him n it did no good. He was very angry. I talked to the rehab they told me they would handle it n I didn't need to come back. I told my mom to go to bed and ignore him n this seemed to work. He finally settled down.

Well Debby, even without the confirmed Stroke Diagnosis, obviously there is something Neurological going on and Dad needs follow up with Cardio to check the Pacer, PCP to review the hospital stay and his meds and a Neurologist. The Neuro may be able to shed some more light on exactly what is going on.

Cognitive recovery is tough, but it was the main issue for Bruce and I. You go about the room and ask Dad to name objects. Ask him to describe the history of something: a favorite piece of artwork, diploma, family pictures. You work on short term memory. Short term memory is very lazy. If it is not reminded every two hours or so, it will forget. The trick is to get it to toss the issue to Long Term Memory, where it will be dealt with. So how to do that.

Give Dad one task every morning: We need milk. We need to do laundry when I get home (that is a good one if you work). Ask Dad to write it down and then repeat it. Call or remind him every few hours - Dad, what do we have to do? This is long, tedious and frustrating but it works. One task only. Just think of something he does every day - defrost something for dinner, feed the pets, water the plants, take out the garbage, we need to take a walk when I get home. The word puzzles are great and anything with writing. If you run out of ideas cut out a short article in the newspaper. Have him read it - call and remind him to read it again. And then when you get home, you discuss it with him.

Bruce's incontinence is due to muscles spasms, so he has been on a medication for that. But Debby, it has taken four years to get him mostly continent and Urology advises that with the area of the brain that is damages, Bruce will probably never be continent when he sleeps. Still there has been improvement at nap time.

The bladder needs to be retrained and you and the caregiver must toilet Dad every two hours - immediately when getting up and always right before bed. Even if he just went. Yes he is going to be annoyed but you just have to try to work through it with him. With Bruce I just threatened to withhold a meal - LOL. But that is husband-wife. Father-daughter is very different. "Dad, do it for me. Let's just give it a shot. You don't want an accident during dinner" etc.

Just remember Dad is just as confused as you are. Soft, baby steps. Also I was so happy to hear that you had a caregiver on board so both you and Mom can have some time off. Stay in touch. Debbie

Ethyl you have been so much help. Thank you so much. We have followed up with the cardiologist. We had to change his pcp because the other one was so far away. He referred us to a great neurologist. Unfortunately, he doesn't have any openings until January. daddy is third on the list for a cancellation appointment. I will feel better once he has seen him. They have a non magnetic Mri that can be used with his pacemaker. It really helps to talk to someone who has been through this

To continue on with my blog, daddy had to relearn almost everything while in white county rehab. It took some time but he finally started feeding himself. All of a sudden he was super confused and couldn't do anything for himself. Come to find out he had a uti. They put him on antibiotics but it wound up being the wrong one for the infection. Once they changed antibiotics we started seeing improvement. During this period I checked in daily with the therapists and nurses. I drove the 90 miles round trip three to four times a week. I would get mamas meds fixed in her planner and take clean clothes to them and pick up the dirty ones. Daddy was really sweet during that period just super confused. I started to wonder if I would ever get him back. Mama started redoing her planner during this time so I had to give her a stern talk. She would not come home with me because she wanted to stay with daddy. During this time I got the call that daddy no longer qualified for hospital rehab and I would have to quickly find a nursing home rehab. I started scrambling and found sherwood nursing and rehab about three miles from my house. The had a five star rating but mama could only stay with him during the day.

Just finishing reading your today blog.  Hope everything went well with moving Dad into the new rehab, and great that it is  only three miles away from your home.  How is Mama?  It I hard when you  live so far from them. I am please that you have a caregiver, that is a great help.

Do keep on posting

Yvonne

Blog continued- daddy was able to stay an additional week at white county rehab before we had to move him. The day daddy was moved into Sherwood nursing and rehab he got very confused. He told the manager that I was on my way to pick him up. Every time I move him he seems to take a few steps backward. He had not been allowed to walk by himself since he had the stroke. He was considered a fall risk not because of a physical issue but because of the mental. Mama stayed with my husband and me during this period. I got up every morning at 3:30am to get ready for work. I would fix mamas hair and off we would head to rehab. I would drop mama off and head to work. Every afternoon my husband and I would eat supper with mama and daddy at rehab and then bring mama back to our house. While in Sherwood rehab daddy was given the okay to walk by himself. On day four the occupational therapist told me they were going release him in one week because they had done all they could for him by Medicare standards. She told me he would probably never get any better. I had a bad case of the boo boos for the night. I slept on it and prayed about it and got up with a new attitude the next day. I started researching assisted living facilities. This was quite a daunting task. I had no idea nursing homes and assisted living facilities were so expensive. I found an independent living facility in north little rock that was only $2290/month. They offered breakfast and lunch daily. They have an in-house beauty salon and library. They also have a chapel that had bible studies and Sunday services. They take a van to a different store four days a week. I was so excited because I thought mama and daddy would fit right in this little community and start socializing. I went ahead and made a down payment on the apartment. Unfortunately, daddy's Medicare would not cover until the apartment was ready. We started paying $350:day for daddy to stay at rehab until we could get him moved. We debated bringing him to our house but we were afraid to move him twice since he seemed to take a few steps back with each move. During this time daddy started showing anger toward mama. He would try to take her purse away from her. We couldn't figure out what he was doing until we realized he was trying to get the keys. He kept making me promise I would not let mama drive. Actually, I have every set of keys they own because according to the doctors neither one of them can drive. Another one of the unpopular decisions I have made. We decided to move daddy on a Monday afternoon after I got off work. We spent the weekend moving their furniture and setting the apartment up to look as homey as possible.

So back to the blog- it is now Monday move in day. I worked all day. Ran by my house to take care of dogs and headed to rehab to pick mama and daddy up. My cousin was visiting so I used that time to discuss meds with the nursing staff and finish packing up his stuff. I loaded him and mama up and headed for their new home. The transition seemed to go very well. I got them settled in and spent the night on the recliner. I was so happy that the transition was going so well. The next morning I went to the dining room with them for breakfast. Daddy wore his pajama bottoms with no shoes so I wore my pjs too. We were way underdressed. People were very nice and kept introducing themselves, daddy was in a fog. Mama was very embarrassed about the no shoes. More later.

Blog cont.- the new care giver which was my granddaughter's nanny got to the apartment right after breakfast. We tag teamed giving meds, checking sugar, blood pressure and weight. Daddy was very quiet all day. All of a sudden he didn't want the tv on, wouldn't read and would not talk unless asked a question. He quit smiling and sat with his head in his hands most of the time. On Tuesday night he asked me if mama was going home with me. I explained that this was their temporary home and mama would be staying with him. He asked me where she was going to sleep and I point to their bed. I could tell he was pondering this and in a little bit said he guessed it would be okay since they were married. We started getting into a routine. Robbie came every morning Mon-fri at around 7am. I would go by when I got off work, cook supper and give meds. I had to wait until he had been in the apartment for a week before I could get in with a primary care doctor at uams. On Tuesday the following week I loaded mama and daddy up and we headed to daddy's first doctor's appt at Uams. I had typed out everything that had happened since sept 4th. I didn't want to say everything out loud in front of him. When doctor Kahn asked daddy how he was feeling he said fine nothing was wrong with him. Dr Kahn changed his anti depressant and said we should start seeing a difference in about two weeks. The psychologist came in and asked him short term memory questions such as what did he have for lunch. He was unable to answer. It was quite obvious he did not want to be there. Dr Kahn referred him to a neurologist at uams but could not get an appt until January unless there is a cancellation. Daddy is third on the list if there is a cancellation. The next few days were pretty much the same. Daddy showed no interest in anything. He would hardly talk to his sisters and brother when they came to visit. He could remember when my kids came to visit but he would not initiate any conversation. I tried putting a bird feeder out with bird seed to see if I could attract any squirrels or birds. He use to love to watch squirrels and birds. Robbie and I tried to get him to walk as much as possible. Finally on Friday night I decided to take my yorkie Maci over there. Daddy talked to her more than he did humans. The next day was a very good day. He didn't seem very confused and he initiated some conversation. I thought yay we are on the road to recovery. The next day he had a really bad day. He wouldn't talk and kept falling asleep all day. More later.

Blog continued- after this we had many days that were good and many that were bad. Some of the good days were so good I thought he was healed. I would get so excited only to have a super confused day the next day. On the confused days he got super tired and would continually dose off. About 3 weeks into their stay at the apartment he took off while Robbie was fixing mamas hair. They finally found him sitting by the dining room. I talked to him on the phone and asked him to let mama or Robbie know before he left the apartment. He said he didn't know he had left the apartment but he wouldn't do it again because he didn't want to worry mama. We started a pattern. Robbie would get to the apartment mon- fri beforvbreakfast. She would stay until noon or after if things weren't going well. I would head that direction when I got off work at 3:00pm. I would fix supper and give everyone their meds. We would visit for a little while then I would head for home. On the weekends we would usually head to Cabot to see my 2 year old grand baby. He would be so animated when he was around her. One Saturday he really scared me. We were getting ready to go and he wanted to do his business on a tree in the woods behind my sons house. I told him we would wait around the side of the house for him and he never came. I started looking for him in the woods and called his name over and over, no response. I finally looked up on my sons porch and he was just sitting there watching me. The next week he started really acting sluggish. I left work and took him to the er. His bp was alarmingly low. It was like 89/46. They determined he was dehydrated. They gave him fluid his bp rose and back to the apartment we went. Two weeks later I took him to his cardiologist. He took him off all diuretics unless he started retaining fluid. He also cut back on one of his heart meds. I took mama and him to lunch at Ryan's and his favorite waitress was there. She hugged him and fussed over him. He seemed tired but content. We headed to the barber next. He didn't want a "lady shop" that did mens hair. He wanted a barber. I started feeling really bad while we waited. I took mama and daddy back to the apartment and headed home. I checked my temp and it was 101. I called Robbie and she did supper and meds. I got up Saturday morning and didn't feel the best. My daughter was having a baby shower and I wasn't going to miss it. I picked mama and daddy up and we headed to my sons house for the shower. Daddy seemed to be doing good. He sat in the living room with all the women and watched my daughter open all the baby presents. We had a great day except I felt really bad. I took mama and daddy back to the apartment gave them their meds and headed for home. I had a 102 fever by the time I got home. I'm just crashed. Sunday daddy wanted to go to my church so I got ready picked them up and headed to church. He kept dozing during the service. After church I took them back to the apartment and ate lunch with them. Everything tasted like sawdust. I went home and laid down til it was time to go back to the apartment to fix supper and give meds. I just prayed they would not catch what I had. Monday morning I went to work and could not breathe. Mi gave up and went to the doctor. I'm got a steroid shot and antibiotics. They said it was a sinus infection. I went over to the apartment after work visited for a bit cooked stir fry and gave them their meds. Robbie took over for me Tuesday because I was feeling pretty rough. Daddy seemed to have good and bad days. We kept the grand baby Thursday. Robbie had her all day then I went to the apartment and kept her until around 6. Daddy smiled and laughed at her but did not try to play which is unusual. Friday was a bad day. He was disengaged and slept most of the day. On Saturday we kept her again until 5pm. He did a little bit better than Thursday but still didn't really play with her very much. He wanted to go to church Sunday so I picked them up. I thought he was doing okay until he got up to go to the restroom. He came to the sanctuary door when he was done then took off down the hall toward the door. I headed off after him and got him to go back in the sanctuary. He went down to the other end of the row we were on and sat down. Mama moved down to sit with him. After church we ate at the apartment dining room. We next went to Krogers. I asked him if he needed to use the restroom and he said no. I should have insisted. I saw him clutching himself to Krogers so I hurried him toward the restroom both the men's and womens were occupied so he had an accident. I asked him if he wanted to go out to the car and he said he was fine. Mama was very embarrassed so we hurried and got our groceries and headed back to the apartment. We got his clothes changed and I headed for home. By the time I went back to the apartment he had had anther accident and pooped in the bathroom floor. I helped mama clean everything up, fixed supper, gave meds and headed for home. Sometime during the night he urinated in the Tarascan. Mama told him she was going to call me and he said he wouldn't do it again. Great now I am the one everyone tattles to. Monday was his best day so far. His sisters went to visit him. He was laughing, joking, initiating conversation and acting like his old self. I couldn't wait to get over to the apartment to spend time with him. He acted just like his old self. I didn't want to go home. Sure enough he woke up Tuesday feeling bad. He said he felt terrible so I knew he really did because the man never complains. I took him to urgent care and he also had a sinus infection probably from me. They gave him a steroid shot, antibiotic and cough medicine. They told me to watch his sugar it might go haywire. I checked it and it was 435, really scared me. I gave him 4 units of insulin and kept monitoring him. My husband called and had been in a wreck. He said he was fine just waiting on the police. Once daddy's sugar dropped to 278 I left for home. More to follow late.