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Enuff,Already!


ajcee

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In early 2002, at age 75, I suffered a brain stem stroke and was put on a regimen of coumadin. During 2003, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer and was treated with a series of external radiation. 2004 welcomed me with chest pain caused by blocked heart arteries, One of which was completely blocked and calcified which required a rotoblation procedure (like roto-rooter) in order to reach the heart.During this procedure, the guide wire tip was accidently cut, and remains in my heart. Four stents were placed in my heart and in place of the coumadin, I was placed on Plavix and baby aspirin.

 

In the past two weeks there has been a convergence of these illnesses, furthering complications and calling for risky decisions. After almost 13 years of blood thinner therapy, I was taken to hos[ital with a GI bleed and taken off blood thinners. I was told to discontinue Plavix and continue to take baby aspirin upon my release. Four days later, I reentered the hospital with a mild heart attack and underwent a series of tests which included an angiogram.

 

Yesterday, I was told by my cardiologist that while there was no blockage in the stents, the heart attack was caused by the stoppage of Plavix which had to be done to prevent further bleeding.The wire that remains in my heart, although covered with tissue and is no puncturing threat,but does cause a problem as it serves as a barrier for the accumulation of blood clots. There is no choice but to introduce the Plavix again along with the baby aspirin, the Plavix on an every other day basis.

 

Thus , there remains the increased risk of another stroke or heart attack and the prostate cancer which has been in remission for 10 years has recurred, making it likely for a return to hormone therapy or chemotherapy. It is like a medical smorgasbord that lies before me without choice. and that is not to add the recent diagnosis of extreme cerebellum atrophy. What the hell, I am ten years above the average American life span, so when the end arrives, my certificate will read,"Died of natural causes!"

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I am so sorry AJ - when it rains, it pours. But your outlook is wonderful and I applaud your strength and grace. One day at a time, rejoice in everything you do and just keep laughing. Prayers always, Debbie

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Well after reading your life story which you shared with me, I would not expect anything less than this medical buffet of unusual risks that you have managed to navigate through like a tap dance in a mine field. You are amazing.  Indeed the end will say natural causes but lets celebrate the time before the end that to me seems to continue to include some clear sunshine ahead. You did not mention any pain and that in my book is good news indeed. We all live with the time clock ticking away over our heads and that is more reason to help each other celebrate life every day even when it is hard and scary. Go and live what time you have because it is not for nothing. NO time is a waste or even a wait because there are people out there in need in your path for something even if for just a chat. I believe there is no such thing as just a chat really so I say that because talking changes a person's journey in ways we don't always see but something is in there in a little chat, maybe some love, or confidence, or courage that we pass on like Dumbo's magic feather which makes us believe in ourselves because we lean into or push against the person or the conversation, So all of us contribute all the time to each other's process and journey. What is meaning if not to take care of each other.

This is time of year to be thankful and we do that by eating alot and being with others, even those we don't like to be with because even that is part of it all isn't it. If we don't have family then perhaps we find others also needing a chosen family which may be even better than a born into one but we seek out to share, Otherwise this is a hard time of year when our losses and fears get mixed in with those hallmark expectations, You have seen many holiday times. I wish I could sit and chat with you about the holiday times across the decades.You have touched lives on this site. You have touched mine. Someone told me that the best answer is the one that is right for you. At the time I thought well thanks for nothing what kind of help is that but then I knew that I had to find my own way and that makes it the best answer.

Peace to you.

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AJ, your strength and effort to plow through whatever comes your way shows how amazing you are.  

 

I enjoy reading your blogs.

 

Keep the faith,

Julie

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