Pull on a skirt ( elastic waisted ) or slacks in winter, bright sweaters and layers of clothes to keep out the cold. I wear prettier tops for summer, plain tops, floral skirts or the reverse. I used to dress like that as the caregiver as Ray's dressing and washing down took 45 minutes.  As long as you have colors that suit it is okay. Once you get a style you like buy it in three different color combinations. I am a woman and I need to look like a woman but that includes slacks and shorts ( as long as no-one else is here and I am gardening...Lol.) You will find what you want to wear eventually, this is just a first expedition.

Thanks for the blog Pearls, it hopefully will be viewed by other women in your situation and you will find how they manage the dress-up situation.

Sue.

Yes but also know that rehab won't be forever and you can even wear fancy clothes at home. When you loo good,you feel good  xxooxx

I was very surprised how no one ever gets upset when I take Ray into the women's bathroom. One of very first times, we were at Coney Island in Brooklyn and I was sort of nervous, since its residents can be sort of outspoken.  So I went in, ahead of the line, and just announced "Does anyone mind if I bring my husband in? He's in a wheelchair." And a lady just yelled out, Hey if you gotta go, you gotta go.  I'll never forget that  ;-)  I was expecting everyone to be all prim and proper, not actual human beings.

People can be so understanding; that's one of the "good" things about his stroke, getting to find this secret world made up of the kindness of strangers.

Happy Birthday Pearls!!! This is a very special one you know!

What a great guy you have! of course you know that!

I understand about the "at home" stuff and I don't like to sit in the good clothes in a chair or at home either.

I have one thought: Yoga Pants!!

My daughter has helped me get the fashion on! I have a collection of leggings and t-shirts that have embellishments or lace or stuff on them and they are nicey ones and not too old fogie stuff and not like I am borrowing my daughter's clothes either LOL! I love sweaters and this time of year I like to get them all out and I love to go shopping for more too to my family's horror. I even go looking in nice resale shops for unique ones. I have a collection and every time my family gets in the bin with them they say don't you need to get rid of some sweaters in here and I say OH NO don't touch the sweaters! I pulled out a few to wear at a time. I love unique sweaters because they are soft and comfy like a blanket I get to take out into public. Right now I need all the comforting I can get. I can put one on over pajamas at home too. Sweaters layer over a tank top easily too and we have warm days and colder nights.

You have beauty Pearls inside and out and we don't have to be worried about the right clothes any more we just get to wear what feels good and is easy. Look how loved you are and celebrate that because a smile makes us all more beautiful. I know the feeling of wanting this to all disappear and to go back oh please let it all go back and let this be a memory just fading away. In the meantime though we need to make use of good accessories. I like a necklace and it helps when the PT says stick your necklace out so I stand up straight LOL. A nice scarf or some gloves also makes me feel dressed up to go out. I like purses and bags so I still carry them oh no correction there they hang on my chair or someone else gets them for me to hold on my lap. I keep essentials in there and no one minds bringing it along.

I believe it is absolutely necessary for a woman who liked all that stuff to be able to continue to be able to feel feminine.

I talked to a woman who lost her hair due to chemo and she had a beautiful scarf on and amazing huge earrings. She said she needed to feel like a woman and that did it for her because her eyebrows and eyelashes were even gone and it made her feel unattractive. Honestly if you could have seen how her pretty eyes shone with life and love and that scarf brought out their pretty color.

We just need to do the little things that make us feel better for ourselves and not worry about the changes in our faces. I still like my lip balm and my eye shadow but the most important thing is that I like the act of putting on some make up and I like the pretty things all of it the brushes and the bags all of that stuff.

No Nursing Home stuff allowed in here !! Even if I choose to lounge in a nightgown I will have on my earrings!!

Pearls I believe that all of this material things is not the most important thing of course and that our recovery is more that all of this but I do also believe that to loose the things that were happening before makes it harder for me to get through this because it is yet again another reminder of loss. And so I notice and comment in rehab when  I see a woman who has fussed over her appearance a bit not because I think that it is necessary to socially be entrapped in that stuff but because she is reclaiming something of herself, loving herself, and saying I am not ashamed to put on lipstick even now. And that inspires me too I say omg I can't be showing up here with chipped nails. LOL it is for me a kind of respect of my life that I will do my best to feel my best and that means that I need to feel like I look good. In reality do I look good well that it is in the eye of the beholder but we can play with the beauty stuff and go out shopping and not feel like we are shallow in doing any of this stuff. I believe it is the most profound and deepest issues of character involved in this whole thing really. So I understand.

Go feel beautiful. Believe you are. Go get any trinket or beauty product that makes you feel pampered and spoiled and special. I guess now it the best time if there ever was any to go indulge yourself any way you want. Beauty is only skin deep but feeling beautiful goes to the soul and it involves much more than what is in the mirror so throw those silly things aside. Feel beautiful.

Ok so I'm off my scented soap box now.

I have discovered yoga pants. I know i probably sound very materialistic. It's not that i need " new" things. I just need things that fit. I am tired of all my shirts sliding off my left shoulder and exposing my undergarments and skin. It looks sloppy. My clothing is an outward expression of my personality. If I look frumpy i feel frumpy. If one is frumpy and happy being that way, kudos to them. It just isn't me and it makes me feel like i am in somebody else's body . When i was younger i was addicted to overalls, that expressed where i was at that point in my life. I felt at home in overalls. I don't feel 'at home' in my current wardrobe. I feel like i've robbed someone else's closet. It is like i am trying to meld my old life with my new life and it feels awkward. OMG Sassy, can't believe you went out with chipped nails!! I love you. If i ever get to California i am going to visit and we will party. When my MIL had Alzheimers, everyday she would wake up and didn't recognize the clothes in the closet. She couldn't understand who stole her clothes and put those OTHER clothes in her closet. I GET IT now. Onward. Thank you everyone. I feel inspired to claim the old me back and to try a few new things like bright comfy sweaters to bring out the song in my heart. Hugs to all of you. I am beautiful. I am woman.

LOL I LUV your MIL and not recognizing those clothes! Clothing for women is totally part of identity and self. Those clothes are US. When we don't feel right the clothes don't and when the clothes don't we don't.

You are special Pearls and CA and I welcome you!

Hi Peal, and Sassy  got it right!    I love my big ear rings, and now I do my eye brows, also put lip liner on.  I am a woman !  I say hello to everyone, next week going to help with a reading buddy program, keep my inside  correct and it will show on the outside.  Put on your clothes, hold your head up high!

Go for it!  Ms. Phenomenal Women

Yvonne

You are ALL Phenomenal Women for sure!!!!