Eric's Blog

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I feel like i've been hit by a ton of Bricks!!!



Today is Fathers day. It is supposed to be a happy and wonderful day. We had a bonfire for the kids the other night, and made s'mores for them. As the night went on the kids wanted me to swing and twirl them like I always have, but I was SCARED to; thinking that if I did it could cause me to have another stroke! I could see the hurt and disappointment in their eyes! I wandered off to the barn and had a good cry! I don't see how I can be considered a good Father if I let fear make my kids hurt and upset! The stroke only affected me physically for a day or two, but it has Emotionally DESTROYED ME!!!!!!!!!! As each day passes I see more and more things that the stroke has taken away from me!!!!!!!!!! Everytime I feel something out of the ordinary my Heart starts to race my mind goes into overdrive, and I can't even concentrate on simple tasks Sob.gif


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Eric try not to beat yourself up too much. Things WILL get better! It only takes TIME. Your children are maybe too young to understand but you can tell them in a way that they can try to understand that daddy is not feeling well. They LOVE you Eric and you obviously love them. Thats all that matters for NOW.

Trust "us" survivors, it DOES get better, just let it run it's course and you will regain some of what was lost. It just takes TIME.

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I cannot pick up my grandchildren or run with them, but they have learned that when I sit down to crawl on my lap and we have a good snuggle, we sit on the edge of the raised flower bed and look for bugs. and my oldest granddaughter I am teaching to crochet. You will learn to compensate and they will learn to accept what you can do. I am glad that I am here to still enjoy, it may NOT be quite the same, but the LOVE is and I am thankful I am still here to enjoy them. dawghouse

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you are feeling many of the emotional things which i feel. i still look down when i walk( very unladylike) cause i'm scared i'll fall. i still haven't flown. i get panic attacks. etc.... it does get better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



my thoughts are with you sweetie!!



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