Well boys and girls, its been quite a while since I have blogged! I believe the last time my frame of mind was not good. I had to go back and read what I had written last time. well since my last blog Ray took a bad fall. On Nov.17th I woke up at 3 AM to a loud "Thud". I looked over and Ray was not in bed. I couldn't figure it out because he wears a condom catheter at night, so I never worry about him getting out of bed. I found him face down in the bathroom and after working very hard I got him to his feet and got him back in bed. I called the Doctors office first thing in the morning as Ray could not remember what he had for supper the night before, he didn't remember getting out of bed, or falling or me putting him back to bed. He remembered Nothing! The doctors office said take him to the hospital now. Which I did and they said they were going to keep him in the hospital for observation and to run tests. Well after sitting in the hallway for six hours, they got a room for him. And he was in the hospital for a week! They had to keep him one extra day because they gave him the wrong meds the day before and they had to observe him extra. There was actually three med mistakes. So after a week of lying on his back (they only got him out of bed twice) he was very weak when I brought him home. They found no reason for his fall, but they think he got a concussion because he couldn't remember anything about falling before or after.

Since he has been home he has gone backwards. He is more tired, and weak and I will not let him walk unassisted, because both times I did, he fell bad. His strength is awful and he is so unbalanced. I can do nothing about the care he received at the hospital but since he has been home, I have had a change in attitude and my goal now is to forget my thoughts and work hard to help him recover some of what he lost before this last fall. Ray has fallen 4 times hard since his stroke. This one was the worst. When a mans body falls face first it hits pretty hard. He had marks on his face which took a couple three weeks to heal. I am a softer woman now for some reason. I no longer want him to do what I want him to do. I accept what he can do for now and try to encourage at least some movement. He goes to therapy twice a week and I try to walk with him a little in the house on home days. I have come to realize what I am capable of doing to recover is not what he can do.

Yesterday my son-in-law kept Ray for the day along with three of the young grandchildren. My daughter asked me to go Christmas shopping with her, so my son-in-law offered to take care of him. It was the first time I have left him since he got out of the hospital a month ago. It was very hard letting someone else take care of him. It was like leaving your child on his first day of school. I gave my son-in-law such instructions to never let him get up alone. He must have thought I was a little over protective, which I do have to admit I am very much so.

So my friends this pretty much is my update on life here. I am happier now and not so frustrated. I do try and get more rest. Ray has also started to realize some of this limitations and doesn't ask to go to the shop as often. It's also pretty cold to go outside. So I send my warmest Christmas wishes to all of you. We will all start a new year soon and I hope each of us has a better time as we move through each day. Also I wanted to add, this week was Rays sixth month since his stroke.

I again thank you for being here for me.

Love, Judy