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A Mistaken Premise


ajcee

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Perhaps this should be titled,”Passing the Buck.” or, ” The Ole Boys' Club. or,”Strange Gods Before Us.”

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Much of what follows appeared in my prior posts. I believe in the context below, there is justification for all of the above titles to describe my experiences with neurologists and other neuro-physicians. In all fairness, there were a few doctors who really tried hard to be of help, but far too many who just sloughed me off with a shrug.

 

While in recent years we have learned some of the workings of the brain, there remains an ocean of the unknown. Other than diagnosing within the limits of current knowledge or prescribing the few medications that may offer a small degree of help, there isn't much that a neurologist can do to assist his patient other than spewing forth labels and diagnoses in medical jargon puzzling to the patient.

 

I, in turn, must accept my own failings for not seeking a second opinion before the surgery that seriously worsened my condition, or not;testing the premise that vestibular training would put me on the road to recovery, which so many of the neurologists suggested.

 

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My brain stem stroke anniversary at age 75 is now thirteen years. I progressed from being unable to situp in bed, to wheelchair, to walker and finally a single point cane during the first year, as a result of determination and conscientious physical therapists. However, despite strengthening of my right side and general body tone, I plateaued with my vertigo and ataxia problems and decided to undergo vestibular training which was recommended by a few neurologists I had seen.

 

After a few sessions, my therapist noticed a horizontal shifting of my eyes and I was tested and found to be nystagmus positive. I was referred to a neuro-optometrist for possible improvement and the hope that I can resume the balance training. Unfortunately, my vertigo, double vision, nystagmus and balance problems did not improve with the optical training.

 

I continued seeing neurologists and other neuro- specialists, all of whom were of a same decision after two or three sessions, that they could not help me; with a majority suggesting that vestibular training was the only alternative. I revisited the neuro-optometrist who referred me to a neurologist whom he stated was the most capable in the county and most apt to help me.

 

During my first and only visit with the referred neurologist, I sensed immediately that he was obnoxious and had a God complex, but decided to to follow his suggestions after he explained that my vertigo and balance problems were the result of stroke damage to the right ear vestibular nerve which is garbling messages from the brain, thereby causing vertigo and balance complications. He recommended a procedure that included 3 injections of gentamycin over three weeks that will destroy the troublesome nerve which will remove any right side balance but will be compensated by the left side of my brain after a period of vestibular training. I was elated as his suggestion sounded logical and I was given hope for the first time. He stated the only risk involved is the possibility of losing hearing in my ear, which is trivial considering the gains I will experience and referred me to a neuro-otologist.

 

I searched the Web for information regarding the procedure which was best explained by Dr. Timothy C. Hain, a highly regarded pioneer who utilized the procedure for Meniere's Disease, which has symptoms similar to my own, but I couldn't find anything connected to stroke conditions. Dr. Hain warned against using the three injection method in individuals over age 70 whom should be treated with an injection of a lesser dose not to be repeated, unless needed after a period of several weeks or months.

 

I mentioned this to the otologist before the procedure, stating that I wanted the lesser procedure that Dr. Hain recommends. He replied that he is familiar with Dr. Hain and holds him in high regard. I interpreted that he was in agreement and will not administer the three full dosage method and scheduled the procedure for the following week.

 

Immediately after the injection, I was unable to stand alone and leaned on my son who accompanied me. There was no improvement in the weeks that followed. I was no longer able to drive and had to revert to the use of a walker. I phoned the doctor and he told me to wait a month for improvement. After a month, I contacted him again. He stated I should have allowed the three weekly injections and that I am a difficult case and suggested I get a second opinion.

 

I met with another neuro-otologist who said it is too bad that I did not meet with him prior to the procedure as he would have warned me against it since a brain related injury cannot be corrected by treating a peripheral area. He advised me not to consider further injections to maintain what little balance remains on my right side. He then suggested that I enter a rehab facility for three months of PT to improve my balance. At the close of our meeting, he evidently thought he did not want to chance being critical of an associate in his field or the possibility of a court action in which he may be called as a witness, so he concluded the visit by saying, “Maybe, if you came to see me first, I might have considered the procedure.” (??)

 

I was very damaged and angry by the above mentioned experiences. I contacted seven legal firm seeking legal action, none of whom would consider the case. Two attorneys from separate firms had the courtesy to call and explain why they refused representation, both giving the same reasons,”Since it involves a preexisting condition, a jury hearing will be involved and the best outcome might be a settlement that may not even cover expenses as it is likely that two physicians will cover for each other.” I contacted the surgeon's insurance company and after two years of negotiation, settlement was reached for an amount far less than I felt I deserved, but probably more than may have been realized through court action.

 

After seeing a dozen neurologists, I finally accepted the word of a doctor with an excellent national reputation. He agreed with others that recovery is not in store for me, as I fall in a small group for whom there is no improvement. He also stated that vestibular training will be of no help for improvement. During a visit with a neuro-opthamologist, I questioned him as to why so many neurologists have recommended vestibular training. He replied that many doctors who feel that they can't be of help to a patient, like to believe that the patient leaves with some ” hope.” (??)

 

It is just this “hope” that sent me on a a quixotic journey of dashed expectations. I am reminded of a recent experience of having our laundry dryer properly vented. I asked the mechanic if he would also clean out the lint to avoid the possibility of fire since it hadn't been cleaned for years, He agreed to do it without charge and removed the front panel and gave it a swift cleaning of the little lint that had collected there. I later searched the Web, and discovered that most of the lint collects in the rear of the dryer and is the major hazard. I e-mailed the mechanic, thanking him for offering the cleaning for no charge,but warned that the dryer owner is left with the notion that the threat of fire is diminished when in reality the threat remains.

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Isn't it the truth that you just can't find a good honest handyfolk around anymore!

 

If anyone discovers that the emperor isn't wearing clothes then they can't charge the big bucks or get those fabulous conferences packages they give to neurologists.  Is is all a snake oil pitch or is it just ignorance veiled with good intentions. In any case it is outrageous how ethics and morals quickly fades with the whisper of malpractice. I guess I am not surprised when the survival rates can be a crap shoot and lawsuits are inconvenient and costly. I am horrified how the doc business is not a customer based service and in fact I am feeling like they have done me a big favor for squeezing me in their awesomely busy schedule.

 

We trust when we want to hope so badly and when there are recommendations. What else do we have? The nightly news is filled with stories with worse outcomes so much so that I have had relatives swear off doctors but they had horrible health problems. Is that the choice? Hopefully not.

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I went to the neuro today and I was told to buy some garlic tablets for the pain. And get an MRI of lower back. And that chronic pain tea is sold in the office there. Nothing harmful at least. I am told nothing can be done for vertigo but wait to see if it   goes away and that I could go for visual therapy but not covered by insurance due to lack of evidence it works. I wonder if they sell hot scones with that tea?

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AJ, hard not to become cynical about it all I guess.  I was lucky Ray had a good neuro and other specialists who did help in some ways.  From a diagnosed 2-5 years of life after strokes 2 and 3 he lived for another 14 years, not all good years I admit but I was glad to have them. In his case the strokes continued despite being on "the best medication currently available" as his neuro said.  I guess more research is needed into a lot more of the side effects of stroke and one day we will have the medications or the procedures to do something to treat them and hopefully cure them.

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AJ, it seems that many of the things we learned when we were young we now have to unlearn or relearn. There was a time when when we could with faith and trust have some degree of confidence in the professionals we dealt with. There was an even earlier time at which humans were still human..., still interested, caring, and able to show genuine compassion for our peers. This, i think, is largely what we are trying to recapture in forums such as this as it is becoming increasingly difficult to find in the world at large. It is truly tragic the direction that we as a human society are taking. While the medical profession at large has perhaps noble intentions it is not these intentions that, today, motivate or drive the medical profession. I fear it (and we all) are ultimately driven by a system of governance that is the dollar (as you experienced first hand with the medical and the legal systems). Reputations it seems are not built on the quality of service one can provide rather they are built on whether that provided service builds wealth, power, and prestige. The fact that you did all of the homework and still were left worse off than you were before i think makes all of the above clear. It is not your fault! We are (or were)taught do trust those who are supposed to be in the know, experts in their field. I, like you have encountered doctors (or more often nurses) who genuinely cared but they are becoming increasingly rare.

I feel awful for you. It breaks my heart that you, in searching for a better quality of life, should have such basic trusts broken and be left thinking that if only you had done something different things would be better.

I too have learned this the hard way and am only just now recovering after been on the verge of resigning my life to an inevitable end. I feel immense gratitude and respect for your amazing   strength, insight, and courage to be here and share your experience(s) with us.

Your premise was sound....

Dean

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Dear AJ,   please don't give up, they are still good honest people in the health field.  I know what you are going through, I had two not so good neuro,  and two bad family doctors.  I am now praying hard for a good neuro as I need to go visit one. I am praying like I did for a family doctor who I have one that listens to me. 

 

I have so much respect for you that you  came and share your experiences.  Good for you, wish you well.

 

God Bless

 

Yvonne

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Hi Dean,

 

Thank you for your reply to my post,”A Mistaken Premise.” Your description of our society of a past when individuals took pride in their respective positions and the sharing of empathy with other fellow beings, leading to our present chaotic and self-indulging ways, with little care for others was succinctly and precisely expressed. I admire your honesty and humor that appears in your posts and regret the painful and frightening experiences that you have recently encountered.

 

While your recent decision to stop or minimize your medicinal intake has brought about an amazing decrease of symptoms, it is evidence of the harm that prescribed drugs can create. However, caution is advised, and seeing a cardiologist on January 8th will hopefully bring some clarification and proper treatment to stave off the possibility of further strokes. If you do indeed have atrial fibrillation, it is most likely that that you will be prescribed coumadin, which is still considered the gold standard. While Pradaxa, Xarelto and Eliquis are recent FDA approved blood thinners that don't require frequent blood clotting testing or dietary restrictions, they are more difficult to stanch should bleeding occur, making them more hazardous if one falls or experiences an injury.

 

You are still young (32 years my junior) and obviously talented and gifted in several fields. Having these talents must make it extremely difficult to cope with the inability to perform as before being stroke stricken. Hopefully, your recent breakthrough will continue with a stop to future strokes.

 

The very best of luck to you.

AJ

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hi aj

for some reason I missed this blog and I am sorry I did but I have extraordinarily little to contribute other than to truly empathize with you.

I totally agree that while mri has given us the ability to diagnose to a limited extent the ability to diagnose has in the majority of instances not helped us with the situation we find ourselves in.  we wake up and realize our left arm is different than when we went to sleep, and the mri shows that we have had a stroke.  the dr. then suggests that we not have any more strokes and by and large recommends 1 an aspirin, 2 a statin, 3 a blood pressure pill.  good by  hope you get better and don't have more strokes. 

I don't particularly put the failure of the above to the desire for money prestige or fame of the dr.s but rather on the absence of the technology that they have at their disposal.  and I don't particularly see this changing much in the future.

you have had a very negative outcome  to a logically indicated solution. your experience provides an additional data point to this condition and may help others who find themselves in your situation.

 

my view of life as you may have realized from past discussions is evolutionary.  man experiments, experiences, thinks, and learns and this collective information is passed on. so that's the whats happening in the question of "whats happening" the more difficult question is of course why is it happening.  which I paraphrase in the following question "can there be meaning in a meaningless universe". I think we would both agree on the later part of the statement and in fact if it is true there is no need for the former part.

I do wish you well my friend.  you are treading ground that I myself may experience as my diagnosis is SVD.

 

kind regards

 

david

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