My wife suffered her first stroke about four years ago. She has since had three TIAs, the last a couple of months ago. While not a full-blown stroke, she had more residuals and needed some PT/OT.

The hardest thing for me is the personality changes. Or maybe a better word is an increase in intensity. She is an abuse survivor and thus tends to be pretty self-involved. She is now almost exclusively concerned about herself and I've come to understand that saying anything about it is useless and upsetting for both of us. The hardest thing to take is the anger. She is in a bad mood almost constantly. Part of the anger, I think, is that she's experiencing some cognitive deficits and can't or won't accept them. She's trying to take an online course to help change careers, and she is struggling. Her perspective is off because the class just began and she's panicking about her grade.

I feel completely helpless. Again, I have found that saying anything just increases our stress. But I am getting tired of constant sarcasm and belittling. I'm tired of her being curt and rude. I miss the sunny person she used to be. I wish there was a way she could see herself through others' eyes. I'm confident she doesn't realize how she's acting. I don't think she should take the class right now, but that has to be her decision.

Maybe I'm being selfish, but I've been home sick for over a week, yet I'm having to run errands to allow her to study. One of our cats is ill and I wanted her to go with me to pick him up. But she needs to study. Yet last night she invited her mother to go out to dinner with us. First time I'd been out in two weeks. They talked for two hours, and I was running back and forth to the bathroom. I don't think they were even cognizant of how Sick I was. I have to go back to work tomorrow and I'm completely worn out.

I try so hard to accept that she's having a rough time. I wish she could see that this is hard on me too.