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I can't believe its been three months since I blogged!!


Grannyjudymac72

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Hello Everyone!!

How shameful of me to get so far away from this site!! I used to come often and read everything I could. But then I just got extra busy. A lot has happened since my last blog in January. We are just now coming to an end to some of the therapy and we will have to wait for about five or six months to start another round. There is a cap on money through medicare and the therapists told me last week that the money is coming to an end for a while. So we stopped PT and Speech and Pool Therapy but will continue Occupational Therapy until the end of April. We have also started Acupuncture and it seems to be helping with movement of the left arm and hand. We struggled through a few months at the beginning of the year. Ray was back in the hospital for 6 hours but I wouldn't let them keep him since last time he was in the hospital they wrecked him. They didn't get him out of bed for a week and they gave him the wrong meds. So one Sunday his blood pressure just wouldn't go down so I took him to ER. We were there for 6 hours but his BP would not go down but I would not let them keep him. He was vomiting terribly and one doctor ordered an ultra sound and they found a mass. We saw a surgeon last week and he said it was most likely a stone and he did not want to put Raymond under and remove his gallbladder. He has improved over the past few weeks and is not as nauseous as he was for a while. His Stroke doctor put him on a probiotic and he is also eating much better, so that has helped with his being sick.

 

We also found out the last bad fall affected his eyes and ears. HIs eyes are not working together and he had to see a specialist and now has two pair of glasses with prisms in them. He has to do eye excercises. It also affected his middle ear which made his balance terrible. I have been paranoid about him walking unassisted since November and finally in the past two days I am letting him move a little by himself. I am terrified, but with God's help I am trying to let go and let God help me!! I did have a lady come in a few times and it was wonderful just being able to get out by myself, but she got a regular job last week and I am on my own again. But it will work out somehow. It has been almost 9 months since Ray's stroke and I can't believe how the time has flown. I think no one is prepared for the length of time that it takes to get through one thing at a time.

 

I have let go also of some of my frustrations. HIs TV watching used to drive me up the wall, but now I just let it be. I do encourage him to get up more and move around, but its still a struggle. I also let go of the constant taking naps. I know his body and brain need rest. I have a hard time just sitting still and I tease him about he does enough resting for both of us.

 

As we all have learned and are learning...This is a long journey!! A journey none of us are prepared for. NO instructions! So now I take one day at a time and deal with it. My bad days are far and few between.

 

I miss being here and will try to come more often. Now that our therapy is less I will have more time.

Hugs, Judy

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Judy you do what you have to do, to keep the peace, keep life on an even keel, to lower the stress and to maintain some sort of relationship.  Accepting the changes is the hardest thing to do but as time goes on you somehow manage to do that too.  Good to have you back.

 

(((hugs))) from Sue.

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Judy, we all have things going on don't feel bad. I do read the blogs but have not written for a long time. It life, I have my grandkids here and also go to my center, walk and help in a school. Please that you and Ray are well

God bless

 

Yvonne

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Time flies while we are walking along or even sleep but we do need the rest so take care of you any way you can and get out  when you can but your therapy is so important don't miss it  when you got time to go or be there... I'm not sure on the acupuncture it didn't help me and I had it early on soon as I got home from the hospital... I think just exercising your limbs is the very best thing to do for yourself to get better...

 

Oh, I'm 73, be 74 in July but had a set back on a trip to Vegas and now walking is not too good again, Oh well I'm alive!!!

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Thank you for your input my friends. Today is an especially bad day for me. I am really having difficulties trying to deal with my feelings about Rays recovery.  He has been to a lot of therapies and doctors and they work on him, then he comes home and either just sits in his chair or lies on the couch.  For a long time I accepted that he needed extra rest due to the fall, and I didn't say anything. I just took care of him, took him to his appointments and dealt with his resting.  Well lately he has been improving so I have tried to push him to do exercises at home.  He is so good for the therapists and is such a good patient, but here at home he is just {sorry to say it} (lazy).  I do everything for him and he just rests and of course when I mention it, he says he is tired. I tell him thats because he doesn't move around enough.  If you lie around and sit around all of the time then of course you are tired. But he gets mad at me when I speak up.  Well for a long time I just decided to let it go. But often I just can't. And I need help on this. What do I do?? Should I just let his recovery be his responsibility and if I do that he will continue to do very little here at home.

 

I took him for a walk today and we went onto the deck and I asked him if he thought that the acupuncture was going to make his arm and hand just start moving again. He said "yes". He believes that all of the doctors and the therapist are going to "fix" him.  That one day things are going to just start working.  I do try to be positive and for the most part I am. But there are times like yesterday and today that its just not working for me. 

 

Well thats pretty much it kids. I had to vent and I have been on the verge of crying today so I decided to come here and talk to all of you.  I need advice.

Thank you and Hugs, Judy

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Judy: I am sorry. And I don't mean to be a naysayer. I was as aggressive as you were as to Bruce's recovery. No stone unturned. I know the over-toning discouraged him. Nine months of rigorous therapy to have a set back that lasted a year. And then the decision not to have the Baclofen Intrathecal. So boost the clonus meds, custom splints and WC.

 

But what I found out was that I could not do it for him. He either wanted it and was willing to work for it, or not. Bruce will do anything I ask but I can't be responsible for his recovery.

 

Just entering year 6 - I do what I can do. He gets his yearly Medicare paid therapy. He is happy in his own house - does what chores he can. Really makes an effort to stay away from the TV. We get out whenever we can - I involve him in all of the household management. And Judy, at this point, I know in my heart, that is all is going to happen. Tomorrow may bring something different. Hugs - Debbie

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