Hello all,

It's been a long while again. Grandma has turned 85 years on march 31st. It's going to be 1 year since she had her stroke on august 2nd.

I'm not sure if she can make it that long , but there's always hope, hope and love brought us to this day for the last 315 days.

She's very ill for the last 2-3 weeks, she had her lungs infected somehow (I believe she had this for the last 4-5 years, she was somehow always with the flu and had her nose blocked...for years...). She's now taking very strong antibiotics via IV, still can swallow some soup and can drink water via a table spoon. One strange thing is that she keeps looking at the same spot for hours, focused with her eyes open and she comes back to us at times and raises her only moving left hand and makes the "awwwwww" sound. That's the way she communicates with us actually, the "awwwwww" sound and the left hand wave, either a "go", "bring this", "close the curtain", "toilet"...she somehow managed to create a symbolic hand-sound gesture although it's still unclear to us all as we perceive different things as she waves and makes her sound...lovely grandma...

I recently read a book from a cancer survivor, a completely healed person, Anita Moorjani (also a friend of Dr.Wayne Dyer), the title of the book is "dying to be me". It's an amazing book, please do read it if you have the time.

In her book Anita talks about her "near death experience", there's also a website on this subject, http://www.nderf.org/ , never been to see the site but I know it's worth having a look, from the bottom of my heart I can tell you this.

Anyway, I believe grandma is trying to decide, to stay or go, that's why she keeps her head and eyes focused at one point, I think she's watching the beauty of just being there...being here or there is the same thing...it really doesn't matter for us, because I know, what will happen will happen and it's all for the good of the universe. She may have a wonderful comeback or decide to pass on to the other side of the universe where I believe is where we are...we just don't know it's the same thing that binds us with all the living things around us, that energy or that act of "being"...

Lastly, the doctor said, if she can overcome this infection somehow, then she might be back to her previous state 2-3 weeks ago, might even get better than that she said, but she said, she might not overcome the infection and please ready yourselves for her passing away. Well said that was. I wanted to tell mom that, because she's madly connected to her mother and wants her to get better than better...I hope mom has the will to accept the fact of grandma getting better or passing away and doesn't pushes hard on herself by saying "oh I could've done this, done that" because everyone is doing what they can with love to grandma. I can tell this, I've learned, grown-up more with her stroke, isn't that what life is all about, learning, teaching, curiosity and an expedition, an adventure not to be missed...every breath is amazing...we are all are...

Love to all of you out there, have a wonderful spring-summer for the ones in the northern hemisphere and a great autumn-winter for the ones in the southern hemisphere of this amazing planet, our home, earth.

Carl Sagan once said, in his famous video of the pale blue dot, the last paragraph I believe goes like this;

"The Earth is the only world known, so far, to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment, the Earth is where we make our stand. It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."

Love from Izmir, Turkey.

Cagin