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Advise


Richkelly1

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my husband recently had a right thamalic hemorrhage stoke( about 2 months ago) , this was due because of prolong high blood pressure that we were unaware of. 3 weeks ago he was discharged from the hospital and now he is recovering at home with outpatient therapy 2 days a week . He suffers from short term memory loss, vision problems, and cognitive impairment. I was wondering as a caretaker if there are any suggestions that I could do to help him, and was wondering if this will get better?

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hi kelly :

 

welcome to best online stroke support & our blog community. others will soon chime in. I can tell you as a survivor. yes it will get better. Stroke affects whole family, though with support of family & friends you can live as well as before or better than before.  first I want to tell you, you guys are still very early in your recovery. first few months are hardest too many changes for survivor & caregiver both. too many balls are up in air right now. but keep on working together in catching them. I feel best thing you can do for yourself & your survivor is establish routine, and try to make your survivor as independent as possible, help only when you are asked for help it has lot of benefits more he can do for himself & family its one less thing for you to worry about, & it will help him also in rebuilding his confidence & self esteem which does take big hit when you are hit with your stroke. I stroked at age 34 which left me paralzed on my left aide & retired me from the job I loved. I found blogging & chatting with other survivors very therapeutic for my soul.  hope to see you around often

 

cheers,

Asha

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Thanks for the encouraging words and advise. My husband is only 41, so this came as a total shock to us, but thank the good lord above that he felt it wasn't his time yet to leave us. I've started a routine for the daytime, but sometimes it's so hard to stick to the schedule, and I recently went back to working 4 hrs a nite, which I normally work during the day, so it's a new thing again for him, his family has been sitting with him while I'm gone, they have been so supportive. I do try to let him do everything for himself, which he can for the most part. I'm sorry that you had to retire from the job that you loved, but someone had other plans for you! It's nice to have web sites that I can hear other survivors stories and advise, again thanks so much! Take care. Kelly.

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Kelly: welcome. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

 

Take a few minutes to go over to the StrokeNet Message Board, scroll down to the Caregiver section and introduce yourself. New topics are posted on the main Board (right hand side) daily and more Caregivers will pick up your story there and chime in.

 

Also browse around the message board. Click on any topic and a list of the issues, problems and solutions we have been kicking around, will pop. You can click on any of them. And do go up to Survivors - Language Disorders. Aphasia recovery depends alot on the return of short term memory, so there is info there.

 

I am sure you have already been told that the first year of recovery is the hardest and you and Rich just have to settle in, allow the time and get through it. It can take up to six months or more for the swelling in Rich's brain, caused by the stroke injury, to resolve. During that time, there will be many changes as the pressure on the brain eases. Areas that are dead, are dead. But so many areas are just repressed by the swelling, they will come back and resume their work once the pressure is resolved. Damaged areas will seek out other areas of the brain to take over some of the work that they are no longer capable of doing. So lots of changes in store.

 

My quick standard post on Short Term Memory return - given to us by my husband's Speech Therapist. And I can only say it worked for us. Short Term Memory is lazy. If it is not reminded often (every two hours to start) it will toss the info out. The trick is to get it to once again send the info to Long Term Memory. Long Term Memory is much more responsible. It will take care of the job. Rich can not multitask at this point, so one thing at a time. Pick an issue every morning - we have to fold the laundry. Have Rich repeat it. Have Rich then write it on a piece of paper. Every couple of hours, have Rich read it back to you. This is nerve-wracking, tedious and yes, both of you will hate it at times. (Yes, you are going to get the "I am really tired of this" look - LOL). But you keep with it. I found it easier to do the same task with Bruce every day. We got out in the truck every day, so our issue was "we have to pick up milk before we go home." I gave milk to neighbors, family - LOL. But then the day comes when Bruce says to me - before I even go through the daily list - "we have to get milk." TaDa and yes, nice glass of wine after Bruce was in bed and settled for the night and the set up for morning was complete. Because I earned it!

 

Eventually, I promise, everything you are shuffling right now will settle into routine. So many things will not be immediate - like getting the finances organized, routine at home - figure out what has to be done, what can wait. Meals. All that will flow fairly smoothly down the line. Simplify! best advice I can give you. The house is not going to be immaculate, or the yard. Car maintainence appointments can maybe be done by a family member. Menus - for sure.

 

Please do come often. Post specific issues right on the Message Board as you need to. And please do let us know what is working for you and Rich and the family. Every comment has value to all of us. It may not work 100% for me, the way it worked for you and Rich - but it gets the brain working as to how things could be tweaked to work for our specific issues.

 

Again, welcome. Debbie, caregiver to husband Bruce, stroke March 2009

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Thank you so much ethyl17, for sharing your story and for giving me some advise, it's nice to Know that I'm not the only one going through this, I will keep posting and giving updates, take care!

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Yes sandy caregiver , He does not suffer any physical problems, which I'm thankful for, but does suffer short term memory loss, cognitive impairment, and thinking issues

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Welcome Kelly, as you see, this is a wonderful group of people who are kind,

loving, do not judge, and know what you and your family are going through.ear

I had a my stroke 2010, it takes at least a year for the brain, to get the

rest it needs. Take it day by day, what workes for me may not work for

your family. I have come on well, phyiscal, done great, my right side was hit, walked with a cane, could not dress by myself, cook, shop very

depressed With the help of famlily, friends and strokenet, I now walk,

dress, wash, and cook ( I do still leave the oven on). I also go to a cente

which I play bingo, and do excersie. It takes time, and you have to look

after yourself as well. Also watch for the depression, my daughter got me to the doctor, so I was on pills for about six monthns. I do have short term memory loss, cognitive problem, my math skills are a mess, thinking skill

oh dear. Iam here, and each day I say thank you.

Do keep in touch

 

Yvonne

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Kelly, the kind of cognitive problems your husband has are probably very disturbing to you but they can subside over time. I would find a very good speech therapist (they are the kind that deal with everything above the shoulders, including cognitive issues) and I would use him or her relentlessly. Two days a week is an adequate schedule but I'd opt for more if possible.  And much of what the therapist does can be duplicated at home by you and your husband. You really can't get too much therapy. I would also try to coach and exercise his brain as much as possible. Reading, if he can do that, is one way. So are games. And if he can talk, lots of conversation can help too. If he can't you can do the talking and it can still help him.

The brain is truly very mysterious and predicting how or if or when it will heal and recover is a very inexact science. So what you might want to do is read as much as you can about stroke recovery and related topics. And of course, exchange views with the folks who come to this web site.

You are your husband's closest observer so you will be the first to notice a lot of things. At the same time, you sometimes will need to obtain observations of people who don't see him so often so that things that changed very gradually aren't overlooked. You know, the difference between watching a movie and viewing a series of snapshots. As someone said earlier, you guys are in the very early stages of recovery so you should not get discouraged. His brain is still in the early stages of healing. So hang in there.

In my wife's case, a dramatic example of healing came about a month after her ischemic stroke. As part of her discharge from inpatient rehab, a speech therapist who had seen her on Day One gave her a test to check how her "left side neglect" was going. The therapist looked at the results and excitedly came up to me and showed them to me. It was a test where the patient was instructed to fill in the numbers of a blank clock. The first time my wife took it she put numbers only on the right side, which showed that her brain indeed simply was ignoring things on her left. But with this second test, taken exactly three weeks later, she filled in all of the numbers all the way around the clock. It was really exciting. But more to the point of your concerns it was tangible proof that the brain indeed heals and that when it does all kinds of cognitive shortcomings lessen. In my wife's case there have been many other examples in the nearly two years that have since passed. She once had to use a straight edge to read but no longer does. And where she struggled with soduko games after her stroke she now works them almost as well as she did before the stroke. Her diet is no longer restricted, her mobility has improved a lot, her attention span has increased tremendously and she can now once again enjoy movies. Her long term memory is excellent but she sometimes falters with short-term memory. When she does, I coach her to search through her mind and try to retrieve the information. 

It is a cliche in the stroke world that every patient is different but in most ways they are. But the way patients are treated and coached tend to be somewhat standardized with the goal being to coax and stimulate the brain to repair itself and recover some of the function it lost. The most important assets your young husband has are his youth and you. Both are powerful. Just be sure to take good care of yourself so that you can give good care to him. You will certainly be challenged at times but I have a feeling you are up to it. Indeed, you found this web site and you reached out, both of which show you have the right attitude.

Good luck. And keep the faith.

RonA

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Welcome Kelly, be assured we are all here to help. I'm a survivor coming up on 1 year. My short term memory is sill erratic, fine one moment gone the next but vastly improved from what it was. What helped me was a speech therapist, they deal with cognitive issues,  who had me start a journal of my days. On her next visit she took the journal and asked questions like who came by yesterday, what did you have for dinner, that sort of thing. As we kept at it my memory slowly improved.

 

Everything about stroke recovery is S.L.O.W but then one day you wake up and realize something changed and you recovered some capability you thought lost, those moments you savor. I still vividly recall the first time I made the fingers of my right hand move, it wasn't much but it was something recovered I thought lost.

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