• entries
  • comments
  • views

I miss baby girl



Caretaking was too much for my two beautiful superheroes in their young 20s. I would not have done well either. But my kids did help me recover and be realistic about tough stuff. Many memories of my kids wheeling me to class. one professor told me to look at the audience and not my tablet. lol I could hardly see to read. But I got my daughter grown up a tiny bit more just enough to want to fly off on her own. I am proud of both of my kids who saved me in some way. Their love sustains me. Oh it was hard. I made mistakes. I still do. I am grateful I got to see the human being, The persons that I shared my life and values with. No regrets. It was ordained to be just as it is. We grow no matter what.  Gosh the memories. never planned much but always a wondrous outcome. 


Now I pray for healing in all of us. My daughter will be a fantastic mother as she mothered me. My son troubleshooter steady reliable. I wanted you both to be together always supporting loving. Forgive me for having a stroke. Love eachother and me again.


I tired of pretending that the stroke brought out some hidden best in all of us. No it brought out some ugliness selfishness fear with the beauty of love and peace. Losses of those who were not strong or loyal.


Thank you heros this anniversary is for you. celebrate all you did and do. No mistakes only moments of growing. some funny like my wheelchair stuck on trolley tracks. 


I am sorry for things. I want to hold my kids and grandson. This is my 3 yr soon and My family is broken like my body my world. we have good moments but stroke is real hard for us. No cinderellas here. maybe it helps someone else to know  some real here.


Just please pray for us. And praise God and my angels and my children. And my ancestors watching over us.




Recommended Comments

Pam :


you are amazing mom, caregiving is not easy. So many marriages break apart  & I bet it is much more harder for kids who are  just learning ropes of life & their own life. you all made great decision I know its not easy on you but still doing right thing for their children is sweet mom




Link to comment
Add a comment...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.