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colonoscopy tomorrow




I feasted at a casino buffet on thanksgiving with family and friends.

I loved time with family. I felt more distant from friends.

My new normal is being a patient.

I need this after blood found in a stool screening.

I must be put under for it.

I am afraid.


I need a D and C they say. I wonder if all this fuss is necessary.

I worry about risk of going under to screen for cancer. But I must fight.

I am scared.


I have not been on here for a while. I got addicted to an online game. I am glad I own my time again.


The RFA helped but pain increases.

Now concern is that someone will touch it.


I hate being a patient. I miss my old life so badly. I cry. Inconsolable wasted tears. That is over.

But things are hard.

I just needed to come here. 



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ADDICTION  to online games are my kryptonite D&C truly no big deal.. I have had one and in the long run it helped me. A tops and tails procedure is a great nap. I've had three since my stroke.    The pain that you have is something I can't even begin to tell you my sadness I have for you for it is unfathomable. My heart weeps 

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My  heart breaks for you sometimes when I read your blogs.  I know how hard it is to put someone into care but not how hard it is to be in care except by my observation of others.  I feel for you as you go through all of these testing time, I have some tests coming up soon too.  I hope none of them are as painful as you anticipate.  I hope the results are good for you and don't mean any new procedures.


(((hugs))) from Sue.

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Pam :


we missed you around here, I know life is tough sometimes but I am firm believer of focusing on what is still great in my life & that has helped me deal with all of my earlier issues in life. try to stay in present without worrying about future. serenity prayers have done wonders for me. you will be in my prayers for painless tests & good results.




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Thank you Asha, missed you and this site as well. Good to know Keli. Sue I have pros and cons of care but I need help and I am blessed by the loving ones here.


This site..you guys have been my support while transitioning amd surviving.


I have one great friend out of state who opens her doors to me but I deal with my medical stuff and CA is home near my son and still absent daughter.


This is home. And yet Not. 

But you friends keep me going.

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