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Only my body is broken



I am still in shock that my body is changed. I know it is true but my mind, heart,and soul is alive,alive,and growing.

I am surprised again, oh I cannot do this or that, and I wonder why is my mind so stubbornly hanging on to the idea I can wake,pop up out of bed quickly, and run around the room, dress, tidy, and go. When every movement hurts, needs to be calculated, wait for pills to kick in, take careful steps, ask for help. Welcome the new me every day. Congratulate myself. I am up for the task.


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Pam I so understand this although I don't have the pain (thank goodness).  Nearly 8 years later and I still haven't internalised how much longer it takes me to do the ordinary things. So I'm constantly running late and I hate it. I was always the early/organised one but not any more. When you work out how to get your head to understand the limits of the new you please share the secret.


In the mean time hugs and congratulations to us both for still getting out of bed each day and getting on with life.



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I can't comment on the aspect of living in a disabled body but on the subject of loss and disbelief  I have been known to hear a noise and call out to Ray, who has been dead over five years. I do know he is not here but still waking out of sleep think he is. Some things we can never truly get over or as Heather says can't internalise.

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